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An Armenian in America

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  • An Armenian in America

    The New York Times
    An Armenian in America

    June 29, 1921

    "How does it feel to be an Armenian in America?" asks a thoughtful friend. I stare at him. Does he wish to change places with me just once? "Write it, if you can't tell me," he urges. Yet even while I write these lines I wonder if he will really read promises to be so painful.

    Being an Armenian - an Armenian anywhere - gives one strange feelings. My mind is torn by the conflict of opposing-emotions growing out of my racial inheritance and my living experience. Fear struggles with courage; pain with the will to endure; worry with optimism; depression with buoyancy; sorrow with faith; despair with hope; overshadowing death with promising life.

    The injection of my friend's question into such a consciousness makes me gather my life into a shifting scene in which we Armenians, bleeding, wounded, murdered, outraged, drowning in the sea of barbarism, beaten by the waves of civilized cruelty, call out to the multitudes dwelling on the shore of security.

    We cry the story of our life-long suffering, of our murdered manhood, our outraged womanhood, our drying babies, our tortured mothers, our crucified leaders. We cry in anguish and pain. We show our wounds. We call for help. The crowd on the shore throw out some handfuls of pennies which fall leaden into the waters. Our cry has not been understood.

    Perhaps that band of strangers will be stirred by the story of our marvelous history of heroism. We tell of our struggle for liberty through the ages, of our martyrs who are countless, of the ever-undaunted courage of our men and women, of our undying faith in the triumph of right, and our unfailing hope of human goodness. Again we have failed to thrill the crowd upon the shore. What has happened to the people who look out at the Armenian sea of suffering. They are incomprehensibly unresponsive. They seem almost motionless. We detect, however, a slight movement. It seems to spring from an emotion like that described in a cartoon published in a well-known American magazine, showing the gaunt figure of Armenia disturbing the peace of a fat congressman, who, handkerchief to his eyes, exclaims, "Get out. You are breaking my heart." Yet, there almost seems to be a slight movement, a turning of the back to avoid a harrowing picture. The scene gives way in my mind to a question that stands out in letters of living fire: Has the world a heart? Alas! This is Armenia's eternal and unanswered question. People who appear great and noble talk about the heart of the world. Do they really believe in it? Are they sincere? Have virtue and love of human valor died? Is there only the false and pretentious?

    The suffering that comes from feeling that we live in a shallow and isolated world is more tragic than the danger of impending death. For death we have always met fearlessly, but is life, -- good, brave, real, serious life, -- which Armenia craves; and the time when she feels her wings most broken is not when the Turk is out killing and plundering, but the time when England is deceiving her and France is betraying her, and when America is to be bitterly disappointed. To this country, this America so beloved, so rich, free, happy, it seems impossible to impart the sadness of an Armenian's life.

    But why do I suffer? Haven't I the privilege of living in America, a privilege envied by others of my countrymen? Haven't I all the opportunities of an American? All this I have, freedom, position, opportunities, friends, but the happy smile of an American I can neither achieve nor buy. I walk about like one in a dream, my head heavy, my throat choked, my spirit crushed. I go to church and the minister reads from the old prophet of Israel, "How do the City sit solitary that was full of people! She is become like a widow, that was great among the nations! Is it nothing to you, all that pass by? Behold and see if there be any sorrow like unto my sorrow." I do not comprehend the application of the words. I keep asking myself, "Isn't it of me that the minister speaks? Is there anyone else in the congregation who has lost his country, even as did the prophet?" I review the desolate cities of Armenia, its burned homes and ruined churches, its solitary hills and deserted streets. The rest of the minister's words are lost to me. As I walk out I cry silently to the passing crowds, "Is it nothing to you, O Americans, that I suffer, that my people are murdered, that my country is destroyed, that the virgins of Armenia die in shame in Turkish harems, that our children are starving, that our youth are still falling in the field so sacred to you, the battlefield of liberty? Is it nothing to you?"

    I go to the mountains and the memory of the green hills of Armenia takes me back to its present valleys of tears. I leave the mountains and run away to the beach in despair. The gay crowds marching up and down bring to me the dark picture of columns of women and children marching up and down the plains of Armenia in search of herbs for food. I attend a dinner party and note the luxurious gowns and wasted food, and I am forced to think of the rags in which the once wealthy and beautiful women of my land are now clad. I pass through the streets where American children play, pretty, happy, careless, and in my vision rise the rows of our orphanages with their pale, solemn-faced babies. The bright side of every situation points out to me with unmistakable clearness the other, the darker side, the Armenian side, and so, confined in my Armenian being, I cannot step out into the freedom of America. I wait, still I wait for America to break my chains.

    This is how it feels to be an Armenian in America.

    AGHAVNIE YEGHENIAN
    "Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you're a man, you take it." ~Malcolm X

  • #2
    Re: An Armenian in America

    Unbelievably beautiful, deeply touching.... no words to describe it's effect.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: An Armenian in America

      Thanks for sharing this with us bro, appreciate it!
      THE ROAD TO FREEDOM AND JUSTICE IS A LONG ONE!

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: An Armenian in America

        Originally posted by Saco View Post
        Thanks for sharing this with us bro, appreciate it!
        Doesn't the author sound repressed, oppressed, silenced and "old minded"
        "Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you're a man, you take it." ~Malcolm X

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: An Armenian in America

          Doesn't the author sound repressed, oppressed, silenced and "old minded"
          Yeah, lol, something like that !
          THE ROAD TO FREEDOM AND JUSTICE IS A LONG ONE!

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: An Armenian in America

            Originally posted by Barshimnia View Post
            Unbelievably beautiful, deeply touching.... no words to describe it's effect.
            It's almost like a portal through time and puts you into an entirely different state of mind.
            "Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you're a man, you take it." ~Malcolm X

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: An Armenian in America

              Originally posted by KanadaHye View Post
              Doesn't the author sound repressed, oppressed, silenced and "old minded"
              KndHye jan, Thank you for this good but a heartwrenching writing. When Aghavnie wrote this oppressed and downright sad essay, remember that it was only three years after the Armenian Genocide; she may have gone through the deportation ordeals or if she didn't maybe escaped by a miracle and probably lost most of her beloved family along with her beloved nation. When a nation goes through such fatal massacres and annihilation it makes the survivors of that nation in a very depressed and oppressed state of mind. A few even lost their minds and the rest of the nation - whoever survived - became nervous, extremely unhappy and of course downright depressed. They have lost families, friends, their homes, belongings, lands and they were all uprooted from their homeland of thousands of years. They have also lost the hope of ever getting their freedom. The hope of having free Armenia was lost for them forever. Of course she was oppressed and repressed; some had psychological problems because of all these atrocities and barbarities that they were forced to view or had no choice; because they went through it and by some miracle they didn't die. It was hard hard and extremely sad times for themselves and for their nation.
              Last edited by Anoush; 05-14-2009, 12:27 PM.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: An Armenian in America

                Originally posted by Anoush View Post
                Of course she was oppressed and repressed; some had psychological problems because of all these atrocities and barbarities that they were forced to view or had no choice; because they went through it and by some miracle they didn't die. It was hard hard and extremely sad times for themselves and for their nation.
                Anoush jan, we as a people have been carrying these problems on our shoulders for almost a century. I don't think we have really healed from the attrocities and psychological problems that our ancestors witnessed and endured.
                "Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you're a man, you take it." ~Malcolm X

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: An Armenian in America

                  Anoush jan, we as a people have been carrying these problems on our shoulders for almost a century. I don't think we have really healed from the attrocities and psychological problems that our ancestors witnessed and endured.
                  Nothing has changed, bro ........ nothing !
                  THE ROAD TO FREEDOM AND JUSTICE IS A LONG ONE!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: An Armenian in America

                    Originally posted by KanadaHye View Post
                    Anoush jan, we as a people have been carrying these problems on our shoulders for almost a century. I don't think we have really healed from the attrocities and psychological problems that our ancestors witnessed and endured.
                    Unfortunately it's true we still carry the burden as a nation and the bloody turkish government by denying it and continuing the Genocide till today is making matters worse for our people. We want reparations, we want our lands back, we want them to stop the bloody Genocide by denying and trying to destroy our nation and with it the spirit of our people be it in Armenia and in the Diaspora. And our government in Armenia can play politics yes; but they have to be knowledgeable about our past and what happened to us and NOT act in a defeitist and pathetically stupid fashion. They have to know their legal rights, btw; the Severes Treaty and the Wilson Arbitration and act in a brave and in a winner fashion.

                    However, back in the 20's, the survivors who endured such barbaric atrocities didn't have enough money nor scientifically the world wasn't advanced for them to help themselves psychologically. Luckily, our generation can talk it out their frustrations as we are just doing it now through the websites. Also thank God we didn't see those horrible atrocities and we didn't live through them as we were born much later. And today in Diaspora we are established, richer, scientifically advanced and we can help ourselves through a great many ways and means if we find ourselves in a dilemma. Back then our poor anscestors couldn't help themselves unless if they were very well educated and more knowledgeable through books and intelligence. That's the difference between them and us.

                    Comment

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