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Why I Hate The Wall Street Journal
WHY I HATE THE WALL STREET JOURNAL
By Skeptik Sinikian
I hate the Wall Street Journal (WSJ). I don't trust any newspaper
that doesn't have a "funny cartoons" section. I don't trust any
publication that doesn't print photographs or sports statistics. I
hate the WSJ and I'm not ashamed to admit it.
I hate people who read the WSJ. They're the same people who cut in
front of me on the 110 to the 5 interchange at the very last minute
in their brand new BMWs or massive SUVs and put everyone's lives at
risk. They'll also speed up to red lights and join "Wine of the
Month" clubs. They will send their children to private school and
think homeless people should just get jobs. I can't stand
these "nouveau riche" snobs.
I hate people who quote the WSJ. Most of the time, they are one-
dimensional, money-grubbing ideologues, who insist war is good for
the economy but would never enlist to fight themselves. I don't hang
out with these people. These people try to hang out with folks like
you and me just to have an audience to say something like "Did you
read the article in the WSJ yesterday about natural gas prices in
Kazakhstan?" or "I hope this Avian flu pandemic doesn't hurt
McDonald's stock." I despise WSJ statistics and quotes.
But this week, I found a new reason to hate the WSJ. My friend
forwarded me an email with a link to the WSJ website. An October 27th
article titled "Turk-Armenian Fight Over WWI History Goes to a US
Court" by WSJ staff reporter Kara Scannell got my blood boiling even
before I finished the first paragraph. Here's the opening of the
article:
"Nearly a century ago, perhaps a million or more Christian Armenians
were slaughtered by Muslim Turks. It ranks among history's major
instances of genocide.
Or is "genocide" the wrong word?
For generations, Turks and Armenians have argued the point. Armenians
say it was genocide, pure and simple. Some Turks respond that the
deaths were a tragic byproduct of World War I and that both Turks and
Armenians died.
Now, a Turkish group wants to settle the issue, American-style: in
court."
After that, it just got worse. Not only is the story infuriating but
the lack of research by the report is infuriating. The use of the
word "perhaps," no matter what the context or reference, casts doubt
on the historical record of the Armenian genocide. Now it may refer
to the figure of 1 million or more but it is poor journalism at best.
The next part that argues that Turks and Armenians have argued this
point for generations is absolutely ludicrous. Kara Scannell makes
the inaccurate assumption that only Armenians claim that this was a
genocide. This not only denigrates the research and findings of some
of the world's most renowned Holocaust and Genocide scholars such as
Israel Charney and Yair Auron but also makes this historic tragedy
seem as though it's an ethnic feud between Turks and Armenians.
You see? This is what happens when you rely solely on internet
research when writing an article. And by internet research, I mean
surfing EBay or forwarding emails with pictures of kittens hugging
puppies to co-workers with titles like "Happy Monday!" or whatever
Kara Scannell was doing instead of delving deep into actual firsthand
historical records. All she had to do was look into the American
archives of that time which were recently compiled into a volume by
researcher/academic Ara Sarafian. Had Kara Scannell done her
homework, she would have discovered that the main opposition to the
use of the term Genocide comes from Turkey and its paid cohorts.
I really hate the Wall Street Journal. Just writing this article is
raising my blood pressure faster than 16 year old "hye" princess in
her brand new birthday BMW on Glenoaks Blvd. I'm furious. I'm
actually livid just reading about the nerve of Massachusetts's state
officials who are not fighting tooth and nail to discredit these
Turkish clowns who have brought this issue up in court. Mark my
words, if this passes, I'm going to file for a case to allow
the "alternative" side of the every genocide to be taught in schools
along side the historical facts. In fact, teachers should make
students read two different but parallel history books from now on.
One can be history as it's been documented and the other can be full
of all the crazy myths and arguments that are out there floating
around. It can start off with the chapter on how dinosaurs died
because they were too big to fit on Noah's Ark and end with the
chapter on Saddam Hussein's positive contributions to Kurdish culture
and society.
Teaching the "other" side of the Armenian genocide is like a math
teacher explaining the following equation in the following manner to
his/her students: Teacher: Ok kids, turn to page 12 of today's
lesson. Now who can tell me what 2 + 2 equals? Student: (raising hand
and called upon by teacher) Is it 4?? Teacher: Yes, some say that it
is four. But that's only the mathematicians. There are a number of
Arthur Andersen consultants who think that 2 + 2 equals 3 while some
others think that it should equal 5. Student: (confused) But mommy
says it's 4! Teacher: Your mommy has a first amendment right to say
it's four just like Timmy over there (pointing to kid with bottle of
Elmer's glue stuck up his nose) has a right to say that it is six.
I know where this is all coming from. When an animal is backed
against a corner and has no way out, they will lash out in any way
just to survive. That's exactly what's happening to the Turkish
denial beast. The Turkish community's imaginary version of history is
beginning to show some major cracks and has begun crumbling.
The article depicts this issue as debatable and doesn't really begin
to talk about the censorship in Turkey that's put so many scholars,
writers and intellectuals in jail. Did you ever think of that Kara?
Did ya? Huh?
How many people in America would be willing to say that slavery was a
horrible mistake if every time you mentioned that the South had
slaves, FBI agents showed up at their door, took them to some prison
hellhole and spent the next few months helping them understand the
difference between the words "molestation" and "torture."
This whole situation is Fubar. And if you don't know what that means,
you can look it up on internet. I don't know what else I can say
about this. It's THAT ridiculous. As for me? I'm going to write a
letter setting Kara straight ([email protected] if anyone else is
interested in doing the same) and copy her bosses on the letter
([email protected]) because that's the only way people learn in this
society nowadays--when you get their supervisors involved. Maybe
after a few well worded, articulate letters, we can ensure that Kara
will do a better job on her follow up article. But chances are, they
won't change their editorial policy like the New York Times had
the "cojones" to do. And that, my friends, is why I hate the Wall
Street Journal.
Skeptik Sinikian is a internationally acclaimed paper mache sculptor
who is currently working on a 12 foot statue of a toilet bowl made
entirely of recycled copies of the Wall Street Journal. You can ask
him about his other hobbies at [email protected] or visit his
blog at www.Sinikian.blogspot.com.
By Skeptik Sinikian
I hate the Wall Street Journal (WSJ). I don't trust any newspaper
that doesn't have a "funny cartoons" section. I don't trust any
publication that doesn't print photographs or sports statistics. I
hate the WSJ and I'm not ashamed to admit it.
I hate people who read the WSJ. They're the same people who cut in
front of me on the 110 to the 5 interchange at the very last minute
in their brand new BMWs or massive SUVs and put everyone's lives at
risk. They'll also speed up to red lights and join "Wine of the
Month" clubs. They will send their children to private school and
think homeless people should just get jobs. I can't stand
these "nouveau riche" snobs.
I hate people who quote the WSJ. Most of the time, they are one-
dimensional, money-grubbing ideologues, who insist war is good for
the economy but would never enlist to fight themselves. I don't hang
out with these people. These people try to hang out with folks like
you and me just to have an audience to say something like "Did you
read the article in the WSJ yesterday about natural gas prices in
Kazakhstan?" or "I hope this Avian flu pandemic doesn't hurt
McDonald's stock." I despise WSJ statistics and quotes.
But this week, I found a new reason to hate the WSJ. My friend
forwarded me an email with a link to the WSJ website. An October 27th
article titled "Turk-Armenian Fight Over WWI History Goes to a US
Court" by WSJ staff reporter Kara Scannell got my blood boiling even
before I finished the first paragraph. Here's the opening of the
article:
"Nearly a century ago, perhaps a million or more Christian Armenians
were slaughtered by Muslim Turks. It ranks among history's major
instances of genocide.
Or is "genocide" the wrong word?
For generations, Turks and Armenians have argued the point. Armenians
say it was genocide, pure and simple. Some Turks respond that the
deaths were a tragic byproduct of World War I and that both Turks and
Armenians died.
Now, a Turkish group wants to settle the issue, American-style: in
court."
After that, it just got worse. Not only is the story infuriating but
the lack of research by the report is infuriating. The use of the
word "perhaps," no matter what the context or reference, casts doubt
on the historical record of the Armenian genocide. Now it may refer
to the figure of 1 million or more but it is poor journalism at best.
The next part that argues that Turks and Armenians have argued this
point for generations is absolutely ludicrous. Kara Scannell makes
the inaccurate assumption that only Armenians claim that this was a
genocide. This not only denigrates the research and findings of some
of the world's most renowned Holocaust and Genocide scholars such as
Israel Charney and Yair Auron but also makes this historic tragedy
seem as though it's an ethnic feud between Turks and Armenians.
You see? This is what happens when you rely solely on internet
research when writing an article. And by internet research, I mean
surfing EBay or forwarding emails with pictures of kittens hugging
puppies to co-workers with titles like "Happy Monday!" or whatever
Kara Scannell was doing instead of delving deep into actual firsthand
historical records. All she had to do was look into the American
archives of that time which were recently compiled into a volume by
researcher/academic Ara Sarafian. Had Kara Scannell done her
homework, she would have discovered that the main opposition to the
use of the term Genocide comes from Turkey and its paid cohorts.
I really hate the Wall Street Journal. Just writing this article is
raising my blood pressure faster than 16 year old "hye" princess in
her brand new birthday BMW on Glenoaks Blvd. I'm furious. I'm
actually livid just reading about the nerve of Massachusetts's state
officials who are not fighting tooth and nail to discredit these
Turkish clowns who have brought this issue up in court. Mark my
words, if this passes, I'm going to file for a case to allow
the "alternative" side of the every genocide to be taught in schools
along side the historical facts. In fact, teachers should make
students read two different but parallel history books from now on.
One can be history as it's been documented and the other can be full
of all the crazy myths and arguments that are out there floating
around. It can start off with the chapter on how dinosaurs died
because they were too big to fit on Noah's Ark and end with the
chapter on Saddam Hussein's positive contributions to Kurdish culture
and society.
Teaching the "other" side of the Armenian genocide is like a math
teacher explaining the following equation in the following manner to
his/her students: Teacher: Ok kids, turn to page 12 of today's
lesson. Now who can tell me what 2 + 2 equals? Student: (raising hand
and called upon by teacher) Is it 4?? Teacher: Yes, some say that it
is four. But that's only the mathematicians. There are a number of
Arthur Andersen consultants who think that 2 + 2 equals 3 while some
others think that it should equal 5. Student: (confused) But mommy
says it's 4! Teacher: Your mommy has a first amendment right to say
it's four just like Timmy over there (pointing to kid with bottle of
Elmer's glue stuck up his nose) has a right to say that it is six.
I know where this is all coming from. When an animal is backed
against a corner and has no way out, they will lash out in any way
just to survive. That's exactly what's happening to the Turkish
denial beast. The Turkish community's imaginary version of history is
beginning to show some major cracks and has begun crumbling.
The article depicts this issue as debatable and doesn't really begin
to talk about the censorship in Turkey that's put so many scholars,
writers and intellectuals in jail. Did you ever think of that Kara?
Did ya? Huh?
How many people in America would be willing to say that slavery was a
horrible mistake if every time you mentioned that the South had
slaves, FBI agents showed up at their door, took them to some prison
hellhole and spent the next few months helping them understand the
difference between the words "molestation" and "torture."
This whole situation is Fubar. And if you don't know what that means,
you can look it up on internet. I don't know what else I can say
about this. It's THAT ridiculous. As for me? I'm going to write a
letter setting Kara straight ([email protected] if anyone else is
interested in doing the same) and copy her bosses on the letter
([email protected]) because that's the only way people learn in this
society nowadays--when you get their supervisors involved. Maybe
after a few well worded, articulate letters, we can ensure that Kara
will do a better job on her follow up article. But chances are, they
won't change their editorial policy like the New York Times had
the "cojones" to do. And that, my friends, is why I hate the Wall
Street Journal.
Skeptik Sinikian is a internationally acclaimed paper mache sculptor
who is currently working on a 12 foot statue of a toilet bowl made
entirely of recycled copies of the Wall Street Journal. You can ask
him about his other hobbies at [email protected] or visit his
blog at www.Sinikian.blogspot.com.