Tweet
> #1
> When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during
> a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did
> something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel and
> tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
>
> and now, the honorable mentions:
>
> #2
> The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine
> and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance
> company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to
> have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The
> chef's claim was approved.
>
> #3
> A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a
> blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken
> the space. Understandably, he shot her.
> !
> #4
> After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found
> that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare
> to Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver
> went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride.
> He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff
> that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The
> deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
>
> #5
> An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious
> head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
> the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
> close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
>
> #6
> A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, puts a $20 bill on the counter,
> and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man
> pulled a gun and asked for all the c! ash in the register, which the clerk
> promptly provided. The man took t he cash from the clerk and fled, leaving
> the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the
> drawer? $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a
> crime committed?)
>
> #7
> A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying
> a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE,
> MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A F***-UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent.
> Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over
> laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his
> gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief
> ran away and is still at large. In memory of the event, the banker later
> put a plaque on the wall engraved with the words, "Freeze,
> mother-stickers, this is a F***-up!"
>
> #8
> Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
> he'd just throw a
> cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and r! un. So
> he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The
> cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking
> him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The
> whole event was caught on videotape.
>
> #9
> As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her
> purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to
> give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the
> police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to
> the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there
> for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's
> the lady I stole the purse from."
>
> #10
> The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger
> King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash.
> The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the ca! sh
> register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the e
> clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated,
> walked away.
>
> #11
> Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a
> chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of
> pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper
> off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the
> chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to
> the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the
> bumper. They were quickly arrested.
>
> #12
> Finally, a 5-star stupidity award winner! When a man attempted to siphon
> gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle Street, he got much more
> than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man
> curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman
> said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his
> siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mi! stake. The owner of
> the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh
> he'd ever had.
> When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during
> a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did
> something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel and
> tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
>
> and now, the honorable mentions:
>
> #2
> The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine
> and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance
> company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to
> have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The
> chef's claim was approved.
>
> #3
> A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a
> blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken
> the space. Understandably, he shot her.
> !
> #4
> After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found
> that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare
> to Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver
> went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride.
> He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff
> that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The
> deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
>
> #5
> An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious
> head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
> the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
> close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
>
> #6
> A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, puts a $20 bill on the counter,
> and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man
> pulled a gun and asked for all the c! ash in the register, which the clerk
> promptly provided. The man took t he cash from the clerk and fled, leaving
> the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the
> drawer? $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a
> crime committed?)
>
> #7
> A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying
> a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE,
> MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A F***-UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent.
> Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over
> laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his
> gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief
> ran away and is still at large. In memory of the event, the banker later
> put a plaque on the wall engraved with the words, "Freeze,
> mother-stickers, this is a F***-up!"
>
> #8
> Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
> he'd just throw a
> cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and r! un. So
> he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The
> cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking
> him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The
> whole event was caught on videotape.
>
> #9
> As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her
> purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to
> give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the
> police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to
> the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there
> for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's
> the lady I stole the purse from."
>
> #10
> The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger
> King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash.
> The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the ca! sh
> register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the e
> clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated,
> walked away.
>
> #11
> Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a
> chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of
> pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper
> off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the
> chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to
> the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the
> bumper. They were quickly arrested.
>
> #12
> Finally, a 5-star stupidity award winner! When a man attempted to siphon
> gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle Street, he got much more
> than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man
> curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman
> said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his
> siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mi! stake. The owner of
> the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh
> he'd ever had.