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Thursday, August 21, 2008
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FROM MY NOTEBOOKS
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What do Georgians and Armenians have in common? They both thought they were invulnerable because they had the verbal support of the great powers of the West, which they mistook for military alliance.
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I was born and raised in a ghetto where it was common knowledge that books drove men mad. It was said of the local idiot that in his youth he spoke seven languages.
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Whenever I speak of tolerance I am told in no uncertain terms that we Armenians are in no need of lectures on the subject. Armenians can be very intolerant in their defense of their own tolerance.
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If it were up to theologians, lawyers, and the average Armenian know-it-all, everything that is written can be interpreted to mean the opposite of what it says.
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It has been calculated that a good Armenian speechifier can produce more manure in an hour than ten circus elephants in a month.
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If you ask any one of our dividers why he supports divisions, you will be told that he is for solidarity, it's the opposition that is for divisions.
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“You should write more like Mark Twain,” I have been told on more than one occasion. To which I can only say: How many American problems did Mark Twain solve? How many Armenian problems did Baronian, Odian, and Massikian (our three most brilliant humorists) solve? In a world where messiahs are crucified, recrucified, or dismissed as blasphemers, who can save the damned?
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Friday, August 22, 2008
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WRITERS AND COMMISSARS
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An e-mail informs me today that I am a repellent nonentity because I refuse to adopt Nelson Mandela as my role model. That's the trouble with our commissars: they don't read to understand what's being said; they read to recreate you in their own or someone else's image.
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A writer has no choice but to negotiate from a position of weakness. Reason, common sense and decency are his only weapons – weapons that throughout history have proved to be unequal to the challenges of unreason, greed, ignorance, prejudice, and power.
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There is a type of Armenian who pretends to speak in the name of all Armenians when in fact he speaks only in the name of a loud-mouth idiot, a self-satisfied jackass, or a gutless brown-noser.
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To put it as elegantly as I can: A nation whose commissars outnumber its writers is in very deep sh**.
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We should speak less of genocide and more of genosuicide if only because the first is history and the second an ongoing policy implemented by corrupt and incompetent leaders whose number one concern is not the welfare of the people but their own powers and privileges.
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Saturday, August 23, 2008
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VICTIMISTAN
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The publication of every book by an Armenian is cause for celebration because it has little or nothing to do with reality. On the day an Armenian writer publishes a book that speaks of our reality, it will be cause for lamentation rather than celebration.
*
Ordinary people have differences of opinion. Armenians have Ottomanized differences, which means, the only way to settle them is by slaughtering the opposition – if not in deed than in thought.
*
The easiest thing in the world is to lose an Armenian friend; the hardest thing is to make an Armenian enemy a friend.
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It is difficult to be on the side of underdogs who are also dupes – who, that is, allow themselves to be brainwashed and manipulated by fund-raising panchoonies for whom the welfare of the people rates far below that of their own powers and privileges.
*
If I am an authority on dupes it's because I have been one most of my life.
*
If there is one thing that is harder than making an Armenian enemy a friend is deprogramming a brainwashed Armenian.
*
Victims of foreign despots, victims of domestic wheeler-dealers, victims of our own narcissism, we are citizens of Victimistan.
#
**********************************************
FROM MY NOTEBOOKS
****************************************
What do Georgians and Armenians have in common? They both thought they were invulnerable because they had the verbal support of the great powers of the West, which they mistook for military alliance.
*
I was born and raised in a ghetto where it was common knowledge that books drove men mad. It was said of the local idiot that in his youth he spoke seven languages.
*
Whenever I speak of tolerance I am told in no uncertain terms that we Armenians are in no need of lectures on the subject. Armenians can be very intolerant in their defense of their own tolerance.
*
If it were up to theologians, lawyers, and the average Armenian know-it-all, everything that is written can be interpreted to mean the opposite of what it says.
*
It has been calculated that a good Armenian speechifier can produce more manure in an hour than ten circus elephants in a month.
*
If you ask any one of our dividers why he supports divisions, you will be told that he is for solidarity, it's the opposition that is for divisions.
*
“You should write more like Mark Twain,” I have been told on more than one occasion. To which I can only say: How many American problems did Mark Twain solve? How many Armenian problems did Baronian, Odian, and Massikian (our three most brilliant humorists) solve? In a world where messiahs are crucified, recrucified, or dismissed as blasphemers, who can save the damned?
#
Friday, August 22, 2008
****************************************
WRITERS AND COMMISSARS
*************************************************
An e-mail informs me today that I am a repellent nonentity because I refuse to adopt Nelson Mandela as my role model. That's the trouble with our commissars: they don't read to understand what's being said; they read to recreate you in their own or someone else's image.
*
A writer has no choice but to negotiate from a position of weakness. Reason, common sense and decency are his only weapons – weapons that throughout history have proved to be unequal to the challenges of unreason, greed, ignorance, prejudice, and power.
*
There is a type of Armenian who pretends to speak in the name of all Armenians when in fact he speaks only in the name of a loud-mouth idiot, a self-satisfied jackass, or a gutless brown-noser.
*
To put it as elegantly as I can: A nation whose commissars outnumber its writers is in very deep sh**.
*
We should speak less of genocide and more of genosuicide if only because the first is history and the second an ongoing policy implemented by corrupt and incompetent leaders whose number one concern is not the welfare of the people but their own powers and privileges.
#
Saturday, August 23, 2008
********************************************
VICTIMISTAN
***********************************
The publication of every book by an Armenian is cause for celebration because it has little or nothing to do with reality. On the day an Armenian writer publishes a book that speaks of our reality, it will be cause for lamentation rather than celebration.
*
Ordinary people have differences of opinion. Armenians have Ottomanized differences, which means, the only way to settle them is by slaughtering the opposition – if not in deed than in thought.
*
The easiest thing in the world is to lose an Armenian friend; the hardest thing is to make an Armenian enemy a friend.
*
It is difficult to be on the side of underdogs who are also dupes – who, that is, allow themselves to be brainwashed and manipulated by fund-raising panchoonies for whom the welfare of the people rates far below that of their own powers and privileges.
*
If I am an authority on dupes it's because I have been one most of my life.
*
If there is one thing that is harder than making an Armenian enemy a friend is deprogramming a brainwashed Armenian.
*
Victims of foreign despots, victims of domestic wheeler-dealers, victims of our own narcissism, we are citizens of Victimistan.
#