Have you ever...?

[loseyourname]

No.

Has anyone ever mistaken your face for a pile of feces?

[Emil]

You answered the goddamn question you asked, Emil. No, I haven't wondered.

Oh no! I committed a sin, what shall I do?! Please give me some advice oh wise one.

[Emil]

No, but I was with a prostitute once who decided to do seconds for free.

How much did you pay her for the first go around?

[dusken]

No.

Has anyone ever mistaken your face for a pile of feces?

Yes. Have you ever been told just how dumb you are or are you still in the dark about it?

These are "Have you ever..." questions, genius.

[loseyourname]

Oh no! I committed a sin, what shall I do?! Please give me some advice oh wise one.

The Church of Losing One's Name accepts indulgences at the low starting price of $225.

[loseyourname]

Yes. Have you ever been told just how dumb you are or are you still in the dark about it?

Surprisingly, all available methods of evaluating intelligence, whether they be tests or subjective assessments, seem to agree that I'm pretty smart.

Have you ever been dumped by a friend or girlfriend because you are excessively negative?

[dusken]

I am smarter and my more credible subjective assessment suggests that you are mentally handicapped.

No, that would be impossible.

Have you ever been awakened by an alarm at six in the morning and "I Got You, Babe" was playing on the radio?

[Emil]

No.
Have you ever been diagnosed with selective reading?

[spiral]

No,

have you ever wondered why some of the posters are so full of sh!t?

[Emil]

Yes.
Have you ever wondered if they can be cured of it?