Dari

[HyeJinx1984]

Today is the one year anniversary of the death of my Grandmother Tagouhi Danelyans. As with other deaths in the family, one year after we get together for a church service and go out to lunch. I was wondering if this is a uniquely Armenian tradition or if everyone in the mid-east/mediteranean has this tradition?

[Genuine_Stud]

Yea Hyejinx. It's perfectly normal.

It's called hokejash or the meal for the soul for the deceased one, when transalated.

I had that a few months ago for my uncle's death about a year ago. We got together at church, went to his grave site and went to have lunch... remembering him and the good times we had with him.

[SagGal]

I think a lot of people have this tradition, doesn't matter if they're in the mid-east or somewhere else. Well, my family does the same and invite family members for dinner and we remember the deceased.

[ArmoBarbi]

I grew up with my mother's family, who are long time Bakintsi, and never even heard of this tradition. SagGal, correct me if I am wrong, but I don't think it's done in Azerbaijan. I think a lot of the customs and traditions related to birth and death come from religion and would be more similar in cultures that share a religion. Azerbaijan is Muslim, like most of the nations in that area. We probably differ quite a bit when it comes to traditions like this because we are Christian. Maybe Georgians do it? Not sure though, I don't know any Georgians. Hope this helps. ~Svetlana~

[SagGal]

I grew up with my mother's family, who are long time Bakintsi, and never even heard of this tradition. SagGal, correct me if I am wrong, but I don't think it's done in Azerbaijan. I think a lot of the customs and traditions related to birth and death come from religion and would be more similar in cultures that share a religion. Azerbaijan is Muslim, like most of the nations in that area. We probably differ quite a bit when it comes to traditions like this because we are Christian. Maybe Georgians do it? Not sure though, I don't know any Georgians. Hope this helps. ~Svetlana~

I think mid-east was just an example. Each family or tradition has its' own. I don't know how Muslims take it therefore I don't know how Azerbaijanis take it. The word (bakintsi) pretty much means someone who is from Baku, does not necessairy make them Armenian or Azerbaijanian. Their background makes their nationality. Maybe this tradition is Christian since it is mentioned in church.

[ArmoBarbi]

I know that Bakintsi means someone from Baku. I said it meaning that I did not grow up around Armenians like I would have if I was actually from Armenia. Thus I may not be familiar with some Armenian traditions even though I am Armenian by blood. Your experience may be different.

My answer was based on the specific tradition that HyeJinx mentioned. Of course all nations have ways for mourning a death. I did not think that thats what HyeJinx was asking. And yeah, I think anything involving the Church would rule out Muslims. ~Svetlana~

[SagGal]

Ok .

[Inna]

We do the same in our family. I even remember when we lived back in Baku and visited my grandmothers grave we always took food with us and ate there and left the food there for her. I could never understand why we left the food, it freaked me out as a child imagining that my dead grandmother would some how be able to eat the food we left there.

[ArmoBarbi]

That is kind of strange, but a lot of traditions are. My family has dinner after 40 days because of the Orthodox belief that the soul does not leave the Earth untill 40 days after the actual death. That one is just creepy if you ask me. And again with the Church! Where would we be without it? (Is this too off topic? I am not being a smart *, Im really wondering) ~Svetlana~

[HyeJinx1984]

My mom was also born in Baku and she knows the tradition, so I don't think it's a Baku thing.