Tweet
My Ozzfest Review (7/16/06)
Question! What are the two things I believe every red-blooded American rock fan should do? Answer: Visit the White House and go see Ozzfest. What is the difference between these two? I’d go back to Ozzfest.
Anyway, for those that don’t know, I went to see SOAD. I have known about SOAD for…4 months…MAYBE…maybe not that long.
I have been waiting for this event for 25 years.
But before the concert, I went to my great grandma’s church for the picnic. I didn’t see her there, as a matter of fact, the only woman I recognized there was the woman who teaches the classes. I asked her how to say “It is hot”. She (and the other woman with whom she was conversing, but, she said hi to me first, so, I thought I would ask) said, what sounded like “Dahk ke”. I looked around for the Priest…didn’t see him. I saw his kid, and I saw the kid of the woman who teaches me. I was going to ask them if they wanted the two extra tickets I had, but, I didn’t. I bet they couldn’t have gone, anyway. I didn’t have any extra money for them, they wouldn’t have been dropped off until after 11:15, and I don’t even know if they like rock music…besides, they’re 14 or so. If something would have happened to them, I would have been liable…I’m making excuses. I should have asked. Maybe then some use would have been gotten out of the two tickets.
So, I go to visit my Great Grandma. Eventually my cousin and his girlfriend show up and we visit with our Great Grandma…who complains to the fresh meat that she is treated poorly. …If I thought I could get away with saying something to the effect that to hush her, we did something that treats her poorly at this point, I would, but, as it is, I’ll let it go.
Eventually, we leave. We are on the road. At 4:20, we are 5 minutes away from the venue.
At some point, probably close to 2100, my cousin’s girlfriend is telling me something, lights go down, audience goes “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”, I stop paying attention to her abruptly. At this point I knew:
DARON!
He sings Soldier Side Intro…flatly, off key. This worries me because all of the rumours that I have ever heard about him, especially as of late, congregate in my head. I partially record this on my cell & it doesn’t sound too bad, but, his singing was off…BADLY…for that one song. Every other song, his voice was Daron. His voice was perfect. His voice was Daron.
Okay, so, on with what happened.
The one thing I will remember from this concert, and, they made rock fun again. It was like the first rock concert I went to…that I wanted to go to, the one thing I will remember was Daron’s soliloquy before “Violent Pornography”. This is not verbatim, but, this is along the lines of what he said:
Singing: It’s a violent pornography
Choking chicks and sodomy
Speaking: Sodomy. Another way to prevent pregnancy.
Audience: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Speaking: That’s what my good friend *mentions friend’s name* in Bad Acid Trip told me. We have an addiction to oil. America! Did you know that? We have an addiction to oil. TV tells us. Serial killers and rapists. You turn on MSNBC – serial killers and rapists! Cut to a commercial – Girls Gone Wild. Serial killers and rapists. Cut to a commercial – Girls Gone Wild. Serial killers and rapists. Cut to a commercial – Girls Gone Wild. Because when Jesus Christ comes back, when Jesus Christ comes back, we will stand in line for the Crucifixion – like we did before. JESUS CHRIST DOESN’T WORK FOR A CORPORATION! JESUS CHRIST DOESN’T WORK FOR THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!! …And neither should you.”
I remember Serj saying twice in the show “We love you!” as well as him singing “Chi-ca-go, Chi-ca-go” in that Sinatra-like way. I remember during the lyrics “Accidents happen” in “Kill Rock & Roll”, the lights all shut off for that brief second when there is no music, conversely, every time in “Sugar” when our favourite Guitarist said his famous line, the background lights on stage flashed brightly. I will forever remember, though, I forget which song, Shavo instructing us all to clap…without saying a word. He clapped his hands over his head, we all followed suit. Now, sure, TWICE, Daron told us, in his Daron way, “Clap your hands” (Psycho & some other song, Revenga, I think), but, Sexy Silent Shavo got us to do what he wanted EXACTLY, and we never heard any audio command from his perfect full kissable lips.
I shall always remember Daron’s solos...and John’s solo. That rocked! Three times – Daron: Pull the tapeworm / Audience: Out of your ass! Daron, going on his knees via his legs being outward and going inward and coming back up again, to emphasize the notes he was playing. He didn’t do it with as much ease as I have seen in videos, but, he did it, and THAT looked SO cool!!! It was like the music itself was lifting him. I also have the memory of Serj’s and Daron’s beautiful voices. I cannot distinguish which one more beautiful or which man is more talented. Typically, I truly feel that in each band, the lead singer is just eye-candy and contributes the least, and the guitar player is the real talent, but, in SOAD, they are truly equal. The singing there by them last night was just so beautiful. So beautiful. God has truly blessed these men.
Following with the Serj/Daronness of the night:
Serj: Said that Oil and Egos of those in power are the cause for war. He followed this with
WE LIVE THE WAR
WE DIE THE WAR
WE BREATHE THE WAR
WE xxxx THE WAR
WE KILL THE WAR
And a few of those repeated. He also did the “Of war, we don’t speak any more of war. Of war, we don’t speak any more of war.” I must say, I was touched. I wish.
His comment during “Suite Pee” was “Lie naked on the floor and let the spiders crawl all in your ass.
He used “mother xxxxer” at least one time when he was really pissed. I was surprised because it seemed real, like he was that genuinely pissed with what was going on. Maybe he’s just a good showman, but, he was jumping up and down screaming. It was during his whole “war” thing.
I also remember the whole, “If you want to dance, turn on your radio”. I thought it was a recording. It was said three times, the third the lights came up and it WAS Serj’s voice, live. Then he did this dance pose, loosely, with his right arm up and his left hand like he was holding a partner.
Played the guitar AND keyboard. I was actually surprised how much the keyboard was involved. He looked great playing the guitar; head down, leg crossed on the one knee that was up…*sigh*
Daron: Is it wrong to be upset because he only flipped us off once? …And I’m not even sure if he did, but, it looked, the gesture he made looked like he did.
“It’s the most loneliest mother xxxxing day of my mother xxxxing life”.
“Can’t you see that she love’s my xxxx?” I think the “she” in question was an audience member, but, not positive.
His voice speaking into the synthesized microphone.
“All you xxxxxes throw your hands in the air and wave them like you just don’t care” …AND THE FEMALES IN THE AUDIENCE ACTUALLY DID THIS!!! I refused to because wouldn’t that connotation be that I am indeed a xxxxx?
Things that occurred to me throughout the show:
Early on, during “Attack”, it sucked not being able to see any of them, but, it dawned on me, I don’t need to see them. It would have been nice, but, Daron & I are breathing the same air, we are feeling the same wind. OMG!!! DARON AND I ARE SHARING A MOMENT!!!!...and that is something that can NEVER be duplicated again at any other concert. That was mine, all mine, and THAT is the greatest reason to go to a rock concert…I’d go again.
I remember at some point, I felt compelled to pray that God blesses them. They inspired me that much and I want them to be happy and fulfilled in life.
I will also remember ALL of them dancing…their own dances at their own times, spazing out, almost, but, all of them, just, enjoying life, living in the moment. There was one dance that Serj did. I remember thinking: I KNOW THAT DANCE!!! I’VE DONE THAT DANCE!
(yes, I am that cool.)
During Suite Pee, Daron & Serj lying while singing/playing. Serj was lying on his back, Daron was on his side, back to the audience, if I recall. They both crawled to get on the floor, though, it wasn’t just they lied down, it was very exotic.
At the very end, I think Shavo threw water bottles, filled with water, down into the audience- filled pit.
After the concert, I went back to my car to write down as much as I could remember, while there, a little voice inside my head said, get out, and see if you could meet the band (I saw busses, and, well, you know…), so, despite trying to reason out that voice, I would kill myself if I didn’t try, I was getting nauseous just thinking about missing out on the opportunity . I went back in (it was midnight at this point), not remembering if anybody from Ozzfest HAD met them afterwards, but, like I said, I’d hate myself for the rest of my life if I didn’t try, and I had only felt that way that strongly ONCE before. I wouldn’t even know what I’d say to any of them. I figured if I just started crying and kissed their feet, that would be good enough. I mean, how can you put in to words and convey rationally what you’ve been waiting for your entire life? …I didn’t see them, nor did I see anybody waiting for them, which is just as well.
All in all, I cannot complain, I prayed to God before that everybody going would be safe and stay healthy (not get heat stroke or anything), and, to the best of my knowledge, not only did that happen, but, we also had a wind…it was a warm wind, but, regardless… So, anyway, I leave you with how awesome the show was: I stood for, like, two hours…without complaint. I have NEVER done that before at a concert, and I didn’t need to do that here, I could have gone up on the lawn, and sat down, and saw over everybody, but, I didn’t want to. This has honestly been the only band WORTHY of me standing up throughout, and it didn’t even feel like it. If anything, my complaint is that I will not be able to see them again for a long while. I went to Ozzfest, not only because I truly believe every rock fan who has the opportunity SHOULD, but, because I wanted to see SOAD before their hiatus…this just makes me sad that I can’t see them any time soon. Now, don’t get me wrong, if Scars on Broadway tours, and I have the slightest means, I will see them; if Serj does a solo album and tours it, same deal…probably…but, I am really going to miss SOAD for the next few years. I am glad I got to experience them, but, at the same time, this only makes me want them more.
Now, I know I already explained what happened after I left the venue, but, remember, this concert is about the unexpectable, and being an individual, not being a blind follower, and mosh pits, and not following the crowd…so if you could all just exit orderly…
Anyway, for those that don’t know, I went to see SOAD. I have known about SOAD for…4 months…MAYBE…maybe not that long.
I have been waiting for this event for 25 years.
But before the concert, I went to my great grandma’s church for the picnic. I didn’t see her there, as a matter of fact, the only woman I recognized there was the woman who teaches the classes. I asked her how to say “It is hot”. She (and the other woman with whom she was conversing, but, she said hi to me first, so, I thought I would ask) said, what sounded like “Dahk ke”. I looked around for the Priest…didn’t see him. I saw his kid, and I saw the kid of the woman who teaches me. I was going to ask them if they wanted the two extra tickets I had, but, I didn’t. I bet they couldn’t have gone, anyway. I didn’t have any extra money for them, they wouldn’t have been dropped off until after 11:15, and I don’t even know if they like rock music…besides, they’re 14 or so. If something would have happened to them, I would have been liable…I’m making excuses. I should have asked. Maybe then some use would have been gotten out of the two tickets.
So, I go to visit my Great Grandma. Eventually my cousin and his girlfriend show up and we visit with our Great Grandma…who complains to the fresh meat that she is treated poorly. …If I thought I could get away with saying something to the effect that to hush her, we did something that treats her poorly at this point, I would, but, as it is, I’ll let it go.
Eventually, we leave. We are on the road. At 4:20, we are 5 minutes away from the venue.
At some point, probably close to 2100, my cousin’s girlfriend is telling me something, lights go down, audience goes “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”, I stop paying attention to her abruptly. At this point I knew:
DARON!
He sings Soldier Side Intro…flatly, off key. This worries me because all of the rumours that I have ever heard about him, especially as of late, congregate in my head. I partially record this on my cell & it doesn’t sound too bad, but, his singing was off…BADLY…for that one song. Every other song, his voice was Daron. His voice was perfect. His voice was Daron.
Okay, so, on with what happened.
The one thing I will remember from this concert, and, they made rock fun again. It was like the first rock concert I went to…that I wanted to go to, the one thing I will remember was Daron’s soliloquy before “Violent Pornography”. This is not verbatim, but, this is along the lines of what he said:
Singing: It’s a violent pornography
Choking chicks and sodomy
Speaking: Sodomy. Another way to prevent pregnancy.
Audience: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Speaking: That’s what my good friend *mentions friend’s name* in Bad Acid Trip told me. We have an addiction to oil. America! Did you know that? We have an addiction to oil. TV tells us. Serial killers and rapists. You turn on MSNBC – serial killers and rapists! Cut to a commercial – Girls Gone Wild. Serial killers and rapists. Cut to a commercial – Girls Gone Wild. Serial killers and rapists. Cut to a commercial – Girls Gone Wild. Because when Jesus Christ comes back, when Jesus Christ comes back, we will stand in line for the Crucifixion – like we did before. JESUS CHRIST DOESN’T WORK FOR A CORPORATION! JESUS CHRIST DOESN’T WORK FOR THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!! …And neither should you.”
I remember Serj saying twice in the show “We love you!” as well as him singing “Chi-ca-go, Chi-ca-go” in that Sinatra-like way. I remember during the lyrics “Accidents happen” in “Kill Rock & Roll”, the lights all shut off for that brief second when there is no music, conversely, every time in “Sugar” when our favourite Guitarist said his famous line, the background lights on stage flashed brightly. I will forever remember, though, I forget which song, Shavo instructing us all to clap…without saying a word. He clapped his hands over his head, we all followed suit. Now, sure, TWICE, Daron told us, in his Daron way, “Clap your hands” (Psycho & some other song, Revenga, I think), but, Sexy Silent Shavo got us to do what he wanted EXACTLY, and we never heard any audio command from his perfect full kissable lips.
I shall always remember Daron’s solos...and John’s solo. That rocked! Three times – Daron: Pull the tapeworm / Audience: Out of your ass! Daron, going on his knees via his legs being outward and going inward and coming back up again, to emphasize the notes he was playing. He didn’t do it with as much ease as I have seen in videos, but, he did it, and THAT looked SO cool!!! It was like the music itself was lifting him. I also have the memory of Serj’s and Daron’s beautiful voices. I cannot distinguish which one more beautiful or which man is more talented. Typically, I truly feel that in each band, the lead singer is just eye-candy and contributes the least, and the guitar player is the real talent, but, in SOAD, they are truly equal. The singing there by them last night was just so beautiful. So beautiful. God has truly blessed these men.
Following with the Serj/Daronness of the night:
Serj: Said that Oil and Egos of those in power are the cause for war. He followed this with
WE LIVE THE WAR
WE DIE THE WAR
WE BREATHE THE WAR
WE xxxx THE WAR
WE KILL THE WAR
And a few of those repeated. He also did the “Of war, we don’t speak any more of war. Of war, we don’t speak any more of war.” I must say, I was touched. I wish.
His comment during “Suite Pee” was “Lie naked on the floor and let the spiders crawl all in your ass.
He used “mother xxxxer” at least one time when he was really pissed. I was surprised because it seemed real, like he was that genuinely pissed with what was going on. Maybe he’s just a good showman, but, he was jumping up and down screaming. It was during his whole “war” thing.
I also remember the whole, “If you want to dance, turn on your radio”. I thought it was a recording. It was said three times, the third the lights came up and it WAS Serj’s voice, live. Then he did this dance pose, loosely, with his right arm up and his left hand like he was holding a partner.
Played the guitar AND keyboard. I was actually surprised how much the keyboard was involved. He looked great playing the guitar; head down, leg crossed on the one knee that was up…*sigh*
Daron: Is it wrong to be upset because he only flipped us off once? …And I’m not even sure if he did, but, it looked, the gesture he made looked like he did.
“It’s the most loneliest mother xxxxing day of my mother xxxxing life”.
“Can’t you see that she love’s my xxxx?” I think the “she” in question was an audience member, but, not positive.
His voice speaking into the synthesized microphone.
“All you xxxxxes throw your hands in the air and wave them like you just don’t care” …AND THE FEMALES IN THE AUDIENCE ACTUALLY DID THIS!!! I refused to because wouldn’t that connotation be that I am indeed a xxxxx?
Things that occurred to me throughout the show:
Early on, during “Attack”, it sucked not being able to see any of them, but, it dawned on me, I don’t need to see them. It would have been nice, but, Daron & I are breathing the same air, we are feeling the same wind. OMG!!! DARON AND I ARE SHARING A MOMENT!!!!...and that is something that can NEVER be duplicated again at any other concert. That was mine, all mine, and THAT is the greatest reason to go to a rock concert…I’d go again.
I remember at some point, I felt compelled to pray that God blesses them. They inspired me that much and I want them to be happy and fulfilled in life.
I will also remember ALL of them dancing…their own dances at their own times, spazing out, almost, but, all of them, just, enjoying life, living in the moment. There was one dance that Serj did. I remember thinking: I KNOW THAT DANCE!!! I’VE DONE THAT DANCE!
(yes, I am that cool.)During Suite Pee, Daron & Serj lying while singing/playing. Serj was lying on his back, Daron was on his side, back to the audience, if I recall. They both crawled to get on the floor, though, it wasn’t just they lied down, it was very exotic.
At the very end, I think Shavo threw water bottles, filled with water, down into the audience- filled pit.
After the concert, I went back to my car to write down as much as I could remember, while there, a little voice inside my head said, get out, and see if you could meet the band (I saw busses, and, well, you know…), so, despite trying to reason out that voice, I would kill myself if I didn’t try, I was getting nauseous just thinking about missing out on the opportunity . I went back in (it was midnight at this point), not remembering if anybody from Ozzfest HAD met them afterwards, but, like I said, I’d hate myself for the rest of my life if I didn’t try, and I had only felt that way that strongly ONCE before. I wouldn’t even know what I’d say to any of them. I figured if I just started crying and kissed their feet, that would be good enough. I mean, how can you put in to words and convey rationally what you’ve been waiting for your entire life? …I didn’t see them, nor did I see anybody waiting for them, which is just as well.
All in all, I cannot complain, I prayed to God before that everybody going would be safe and stay healthy (not get heat stroke or anything), and, to the best of my knowledge, not only did that happen, but, we also had a wind…it was a warm wind, but, regardless… So, anyway, I leave you with how awesome the show was: I stood for, like, two hours…without complaint. I have NEVER done that before at a concert, and I didn’t need to do that here, I could have gone up on the lawn, and sat down, and saw over everybody, but, I didn’t want to. This has honestly been the only band WORTHY of me standing up throughout, and it didn’t even feel like it. If anything, my complaint is that I will not be able to see them again for a long while. I went to Ozzfest, not only because I truly believe every rock fan who has the opportunity SHOULD, but, because I wanted to see SOAD before their hiatus…this just makes me sad that I can’t see them any time soon. Now, don’t get me wrong, if Scars on Broadway tours, and I have the slightest means, I will see them; if Serj does a solo album and tours it, same deal…probably…but, I am really going to miss SOAD for the next few years. I am glad I got to experience them, but, at the same time, this only makes me want them more.
Now, I know I already explained what happened after I left the venue, but, remember, this concert is about the unexpectable, and being an individual, not being a blind follower, and mosh pits, and not following the crowd…so if you could all just exit orderly…
Comment