delish!

[arabaliozian]

Sunday, June 29, 2008
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ON COMMISSARS AND RELATED ATROCITITIES
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The following notes and comments contain coarse language and mature subject matter. Parental guidance is advised.
*
When I speak in the name of common decency and use my common sense, they call it philosophy, and they think the aim of philosophy is to confuse and mislead law-abiding, tax-paying, and patriotic citizens like themselves. They seem to be unaware of the fact that philosophy is a Greek word that simply means love of wisdom, and the alternative to philosophy is therefore philomoronism.
*
Our revolutionaries at the turn of the last century and myself today share similar ambitions: we are both like frogs trying to rape an elephant. The elephant in their case was an empire. In my case it is the lies of propaganda. And of the two, it is hard to say which is the mightier adversary. But then, if I lose, I have only wasted my time. No harm done. Not a single innocent civilian will be lost, and forever after I will not condemn myself to play the blame-game.
*
Whenever I am asked a question, more often than not it is not an honest question but a loaded one, or in legal parlance, a leading one, which in a court of law would be immediately followed by the triad, “Objection,” “Sustained,” “Withdrawn.”
*
Dishonesty comes so naturally to us that even in our search for knowledge and understanding we manipulate reality in such a way as to certify our illusions. So that, if I were to quote the celebrated dictum “Truth shall set you free,” one of our ubiquitous Jack S. Avanakians is sure to stand on his hind legs and bray: “So you think you know the truth?” -- meaning of course “You arrogant s.o.b!” My usual answer to that leading question is: “No, I don't know the truth. Only God (if He exists) knows the truth. But I can recognize a lie when I hear one; and I can also recognize a self-appointed commissar of culture when I see one.”
*
It must be painfully frustrating, perhaps even humiliating to our commissars that we live in a democratic America rather than in a totalitarian USSR, where they would not only be free to cross-examine their victims but also put a bullet in their brain. Unmask these dealers in patriotic slogans and expose an executioner.
#
Monday, June 30, 2008
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DELISH!
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Anything that's worth saying is worth repeating. I, for one, never get tired of rereading and quoting the delicious lines that follow, if only to remind myself what I am against. Enjoy!
*
From a popular Armenian song:
“One Armenian eats one chicken,
Two Armenians eat two chickens,
Three Armenians eat each other.”
*
Gostan Zarian: “Armenians survive by cannibalizing one another.”
*
Anonymous mantra:
“Mart bidi ch'ellank.”
*
Yeghishé (5th-century historian): “Solidarity is the mother of good deeds, divisiveness of evil ones.”
*
Shahan Shahnour: “The enemy is not theTurk but us.”
*
THE PROBLEM
**************************
“The problem of who speaks for the Armenians is still acute,” writes Charles King in his THE GHOST OF FREEDOM: A HISTORY OF THE CAUCASUS (page 11). That may be because our chiefs outnumber our Indians.
*
CONFESSION
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Some of my gentle readers tell me I disappoint them whenever I fail to come up with a new or original or creative idea that will save the nation and usher in a new Renaissance or Golden Age. I am flattered of course that they think me capable of performing such a miracle. I am afraid I shall have to disappoint them again by admitting that I am nothing but an overworked and underpaid xxxx-disturber, and if their desire is to see the nation saved, they should get themselves a messiah, which should not be difficult because Armenian messiahs are a dime a dozen.
#
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
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SITUATION / xxxxUATION
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Those who know how to think for themselves probably see me as someone who is doing his best to emulate them. It is those who cannot think for themselves that resent me and would like to see me silenced, and if possible, massacred; and they are my most faithful readers. If I ever become a best-selling author, I will owe it to them.
*
I don't write against my critics and detractors. I write against myself when young, naïve, ignorant, brainwashed, self-satisfied, and a loud-mouth smart-ass know-it-all.
*
My sole aim in life now is to be readable. As long as they read me, I have them by the short hair. As for saving the nation: the nation and I swim in the same soup. We are both dependent on the charity of swine. On the day I save myself, saving the nation will be the number one item on my agenda.
*
Whenever a reader makes a specific demand on me, I am tempted to ask: “And how would you like your pizza – with or without anchovies?”
*
If an Armenian disagrees with you, he will not say “I disagree with you.” He will call you a fool, an idiot, and a pro-Turkish bastard who should be tarred, feathered, and driven out of town on a jackass. The trouble with us is not that we don't know how to agree with one another but that we don't even know how to disagree.
*
We like to explain the massacres as politically motivated actions. But what if they are also expressions of visceral hatred, the kind that I seem to provoke in some of my readers, and vice versa?
#
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
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SECRET PLEASURES
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We all have our secret pleasures.
One of mine is needling windbags.
*
In order to reach XYZ
we must begin with ABC
and we haven't yet begun.
*
If in crime it's cherchez la femme
in political blunders it's cherchez the dividers.
*
Why do you think a small island in Europe
was successful in colonizing an Asiatic subcontinent?
Simply because the English were united and the Indians divided.
*
The Holocaust may be traced back to what happened 2000 years ago when the xxxish leaders divided the people into those who believed Jesus to be the Messiah and those who believed him to be a blasphemer.
*
Nations are divided by leaders who cannot reconcile their differences because they speak in the name of God. When God enters in an argument, the Devil is sure to follow.
*
Theology: the science of the Unknown and the Unknowable.
*
For many centuries we were subservient to foreign despots from sultans to commissars. Today we are subservient to the lies of our own propaganda. Vicious circle or downward spiral?
#

[freakyfreaky]

Re: delish!

Ara, I'd like my pizza with anchovies, please.

[yerazhishda]

Re: delish!

I really love the way you write.

[Inthemood]

Re: delish!

Ara, I'd like my pizza with anchovies, please.

What does that have to do with Ara's words of wisdom? Are you trying to be facetious or are you supporting Ara's ingenious "delish!" thread title? Or perhaps you are provoking him, by taking a jab at his total indifference when it comes to replying to anyone else's post but his own.

[freakyfreaky]

Re: delish!

Did you read the whole thread?

[arabaliozian]

Re: delish!

Thursday, July 3, 2008
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IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE
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Armenians who find me unreadable are my most faithful readers. Figure that one out if you can. My only explanation is that like all perennial losers, they have accumulated so many unsettled scores against the world that they take it out on anyone that is available, provided of course he is defenseless and therefore in no position to retaliate.
*
When asked why I bother writing for readers who hate me, I say, the challenge is not writing for civilized and intelligent readers who may well be ahead of me, but for barbarians who are infatuated with their own limitations. Another reason is that once in a while I receive a phone call or an e-mail apologizing for having been rude to me in the past. Which proves that, like the worst Turks, the worst Armenians are first and foremost human beings and as such not beyond redemption. Besides, it has been the fate of all Armenian writers to be verbally abused by their fellow Armenians. Some of our most celebrated medieval historians, among them Yeghishé and Khorenatsi, have been called hirelings of warlords with dynastic ambitions. Some of our greatest poets and writers, among them Siamanto and Zarian, have been called plagiarists. Accused of nationalism, Charents was betrayed to Stalin's thugs and committed suicide in his cell.
*
There is nothing typically Armenian about this phenomenon. In times of crisis the scum rises to the top and speaks with the approval of the dominant minority. The verbal abuse hurled against such writers as Sartre in France, Thomas Mann in Germany, Solzhenitsyn in Russia, Kazantzakis in Greece, and more recently Pamuk in Turkey, are cases in point that come readily to mind. If giants like these have been maligned and insulted, why should midgets like me be spared? In a way, I am even tempted to be flattered for being singled out.
*
Perhaps I should also point out that not all Armenians hate me or disagree with me. If they are afraid to express their agreement openly it may be because they don't relish the prospect of being targeted by hooligans. Finally, to those who say the reason why I call those who disagree with me losers, barbarians, and hooligans, is that once upon a time I was no better. I have always maintained that as products of the same historic conditions and experiences, all Armenians are brothers under the skin, and all analyses begin with self-analysis. If I understand losers it's because I am one. If I understand resentment and venom, it's because “Bovary c'est moi.”
#
Friday, July 4, 2008
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ONE-LINERS
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As long as Armenians and Turks are educated by their own historians, justice, understanding and consensus will elude them.
*
Propagandists cannot define good and evil in the same way that compulsive liars cannot define truth.
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Ideologies and orthodoxies teach us to think that we are thinking.
*
“There are better writers than you here,” a reader informs me. I consider that cause for celebration if only because misery likes company.
*
I have learned about us more from odar sources than our own. So much so that I no longer believe anything I am told by Armenians.
*
Whenever I speak about our failings, I am told all nations have them. With one important difference however. We hate discussing ours, and whenever someones dares to do so we silence him, and failing that, we bury him beneath an avalanche of verbal manure.
*
To prove that he is civilized, an Armenian will behave like a barbarian. He will become intolerant in defense of tolerance and fascist in defense of freedom; and all with the self-confidence and unawareness of an inborn moron who is convinced of his superior intellect.
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Patriotism means supporting one group against another. The opposite of patriotism is not treason but “all men are brothers.”
*
When Raffi said wealthy merchants are the lowest scum on earth, a wealthy merchant proved him right by hiring a Kurdish assassin.
#
Saturday. July 5, 2008
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FAMOUS LAST WORDS
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“Once upon a time we shed our blood for freedom. We are now afraid of free speech.” After discovering this terrifying truth, Hagop Garabents (Jack Karapetian) spent the rest of his life avoiding it by writing love stories, which made him a darling of our establishment figures. Shortly before he died, he is quoted as having said: “I die alone.”
*
Those who brag about our survival should be reminded once in a while that our best and brightest did not survive. The massacre goes on....
*
We speak of pride to cover up the fact that we have many more reasons to speak of humility.
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To undertake the impossible is another way of doing nothing.
*
There is something fundamentally wrong in a community where the old are radicalized and the young entrenched in the status quo.
#

[arabaliozian]

Re: delish!

Sunday, July 6, 2008
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THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL
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We begin by lying to ourselves, after which we see nothing wrong in deceiving others. A jihadist believing he will spend eternity deflowering virgins; Hitler believing in the superiority of the Aryan race; the Pope believing in his own infallibility in matters of faith: all lies. One could go as far as saying that faith is the root of all evil. As for money: it too could be the root but only if you believe it can solve all your most important problems.
*
No one can be as dumb as he who believes to be smart. I think of Armenians who believe Armenians like me are the source of all evil. So much so that if I were slightly older they would pin the Genocide on me or wish I had been one of the victims. When told I am a writer, this type of reader becomes even more abusive. If I were to ask these readers to name their favorite contemporary Armenian writer, I have every reason to suspect they would fail to come up with a single name. That's because they have been “educated” to believe by our bosses (believers in their ideology), bishops (believers in God and capital, make it Capital and god), and benefactors (believers in the Almighty $) that dissent or freedom of thought are anathema and anyone who dares to speak against their faith is an enemy of the people, a Turk in disguise, and a liar who is condemned to spend eternity burning in hell, as opposed to deflowering virgins or an equally ill-defined delightful activity. And if you believe that, you will believe anything!
#
Monday, July 7, 2008
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MEMO
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Whenever two or more readers gang up on me, I feel it is my duty to remind them, if they lie down with dogs they are liable to get up with fleas.
*
QUESTIONS
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Can there be progress where there is no respect for fundamental human rights? Can there be free speech in a totalitarian environment? Is dialogue possible with a fascist, a concrete wall, an Armenian?
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CONTRADICTION
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Why is it that the vocabulary of Armenians who preach constructive criticism and love seldom rises above the gutter?
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A NOTEWORTHY DISTINCTION
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A famous French actress who slept with Germans during the Occupation is quoted as having said: “My heart is French, but my ass is international.” A noteworthy distinction that. By contrast, when we sleep with the enemy, we surrender our body as well as soul. Hence such unfortunate phenomena as Armenians under Talaat and Stalin betraying their fellow Armenians.
*
ON A RELATED TOPIC
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I wonder how many of my readers, dealers in chauvinist crapola, and holier-than-thou sanctimonious pricks are aware of the fact that until very recently the wealthiest woman in Turkey was an Armenian. When the Turkish government awarded her a prize for paying more taxes than anyone else, her line of work was not known to the bureaucrats. When the master of ceremonies was informed that she was a bordello madam, he wanted to recall the medal, but it was too late. She was no longer in the audience. An obvious case of “arav-pakhav” (grab-and-run).
*
THE MORAL OF THE STORY
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To emphasize the positive and cover up the negative could be another definition of propaganda and I leave propaganda to our bureaucrats. I prefer to speak of reality in order to make the blind see. If so far I have failed, it may be because, like most of my predecessors, I am not a miracle worker.
#

Tuesday, July 8, 2008
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RIFFRAFF
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“Bullying: Conduct designed to embarrass, humiliate or belittle someone.”
*
“I don't read you because you are an idiot!” a reader (make it, a non-reader) writes. A clear-cut caste of a bully in action.
*
The memory of all those I offended when I was young, brainwashed, and self-righteous has been a thorn in my conscience. But I have learned from our bullies to be more tolerant of my youthful self. Which proves that, if you are disposed to learn, you may learn even from riffraff.
*
If you think for yourself, you can't be self-righteous because, in thinking, doubts always outnumber certainties. Only the brainwashed assert infallibility, and in doing so they compound problems instead of solving them.
*
There is a type of Armenian who gages your patriotism by how much you hate Turks. “Who is your favorite Armenian writer?” I once asked such an Armenian who also happened to be one of our notorious Turcocentric ghazetajis. “I don't have any,” he replied. “How many have you read?” I asked next. “None!” was his answer. Armenians who are brainwashed to hate avoid ideas because they don't want the purity of their hatred to be contaminated.
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Knowledge can be a painful acquisition because it may expose our failings and blind spots. Hence the saying: “Ignorance is bliss.”
*
We don't burn books or starve writers. We ignore them. It amounts to the same thing. If they are with us, writers are redundant. If they are against us, they should be silenced or ignored.
*
Ideas are assaults against ignorance. Hence the favorite tactic of the ignorant: “Attack is the best defense.” But how does one go about defending an absence or a vacuum? It can't be done. That's when bullying comes in. When you can't defend your ignorance, attack, threaten, or bully. And if you are a coward -- and all bullies are – try to do so from a safe distance and anonymously. The greater the distance, the better.
#
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
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ON TURCOCENTRIC GHAZETAJIS
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They are dangerous charlatans
who wallow in massacres and self-pity.
They appeal to our baser instincts
by creating a climate of resentment, hatred, and intolerance.
They refuse to engage in dialogue
with their own fellow countrymen,
let alone the opposition.
They have nothing but contempt for free speech
and fundamental human rights
and by extention, literature and culture.
They at no time admit that
it was a blunder to gamble
with the lives of innocent civilians
by relying on the assistance of the West and Russia –
nations that have themselves massacred their own kind
in the name of political expediency.
They portray themselves as defenders of our interests
and the fact that they are believed
proves only that we are a nation of dupes.
By thinking only in terms of victims and victimizers,
they cover up the fact that
we have been and continue to be
double victims of foreign oppression
as well as domestic corruption and incompetence.
#