How do people live after a tragic death?

[One-Way]

I don't think we have enough active discussions on this forum. I don't have real reasons behind my threads, so here's a question for us to ponder.

I've always had a hard time getting my head around tragic deaths. I just can't seem to understand how people cope with death. So, I can't even begin to imagine how it is like for a family to go through a tragic death? I realize this is a difficult and heavy question to ask, but it's something I'd like to explore, if anyone would like to share any thoughts.

I can't imagine a family who experiences an infant dying. How do they move on? How do they live their lives after such a tragic death? Or, a son's death, a son who was extremely close to his mother and family. I would assume that the mother would fall into depression at this point, but I've always been amazed at this. How do some people just move on? What happens during the grieving process?

I've only been to one funeral, and it was a young man I knew from school. I'm pretty much traumatized from what I saw that day, because of the way his mother was acting. I wasn't really close with the guy who passed away, and knew him through other friends. It seems like we have all moved on, and everybody just seems to go "back to normal" within days... but what really happens with that family? How do they live? How do his sisters and parents continue their lives?

I've always felt like if something like that happened to me, God forbid, I would just kill myself. I can't see myself moving on, and wouldn't even want to live a life without such an important person.

It just seems like it's the worst thing to go through in life, and would like to hear everybody's thoughts. Do you know anyone who was went through something like this? Have you been an outside observer as I have and seen something shocking?

[Sip]

Re: How do people live after a tragic death?

I hate funerals. You often see the most stupid side of people come out at funerals. They start acting in the most illogical and irrational ways. This is why I will try to avoid all funerals if at all possible.

Different people grieve in different ways. Some end up accepting that death is a normal part of life and some simply refuse to understand this simple concept: They try to glorify life, glorify death, or try to attach all sorts of meanings to things that sometimes just don't have any special meaning and they just happen.

The inevitable fact is we will all die.

[hipeter924]

Re: How do people live after a tragic death?

I cope easily with death now, though this wasn't always the case. Like I lost a friend to Leukaemia when I was 12 and it took a year or so to get over it.

The best way to remember people is not to focus on the fact they can't live more and share more of their life with you but instead remember the good times you had with them. I see death as a natural and peaceful end to things. Some of us die young, and others live to a very old age.

In the end it is not how long we live but what we put into our life that matters, though I haven't done too much thus far in life I still have a few moments that I will keep me happy and at peace with myself till I die.

[Haykakan]

Re: How do people live after a tragic death?

Unfortunatly i am familiar with this subject. I can speak only for myself but each persons death brought out a different feeling and reaction in me. I think there are a great many factors at work in determining how one reacts to a death of a loved one and each situation can be very different. The victims age at the time of death and the manner of the death itself can be very strong factors along with how you felt about him/her. I think other factors also are very important, sometimes one of the family members needs to be the strong one since the rest may be too traumatized, the "strong" person takes care of what needs to be done at the time but will usually be effected later, often unexpectidly. Death is a sure thing for us all and it may be a good idea to come to terms with it wether it is yours or a loved ones befor it happens. Many people will turn to religion to make them feel better but i prefer to deal with it as the reality that it is and i accept it as i accept being alive.

[One-Way]

Re: How do people live after a tragic death?

That's interesting. I appreciate everyone's imput on the subject.

[MrHyeSev]

Re: How do people live after a tragic death?

I've been to quite a few funerals.

Like when my grandfather died my cousins & I had to take the casket to the front of the church. That was intense.

In my expierences, yes you feel sad & cry but after a while you remember the good times you had with them while they were alive.

[One-Way]

Re: How do people live after a tragic death?

I received an e-mail from school earlier tonight, which notified us that two fellow students, a boyfriend and girlfriend, were involved in a car accident Saturday night. I don't know either of them personally, but the female is in a class of mine. Apparently, they crashed onto an upcoming car, and although the girlfriend suffered injuries, the boyfriend died at the hospital.

Now, again, I don't know them. I've see the girlfriend in my class since the semester started. I have heard great things about the boyfriend, and he looked like a cheerful, funny guy. I can't imagine what that's like right now. It's something I'm going to see, because I can imagine how devestate students will be tomorrow. I was going through some of their pictures on Facebook and it's heartbreaking. I can't imagine seeing that girl coming to class in the future, knowing that her boyfriend was taken from her. What's worse is that she was driving, so I feel like she may guilty for his death.

I don't know the details of what happened, but this is pure tragedy. This is absolutely evil, who could live in a world like this? I can't sleep and wake up as if nothing has happened, this type of stuff is disturbing. I can't accept that "this is life" when I know that these two students were kids like I am. They were in the same classes that I am taking, and now, one of them is gone. It's just too much.

[KanadaHye]

Re: How do people live after a tragic death?

Are you being serious or are you trying some sort of drama skit on us? I don't mean about the death because that would be sick and twisted but about you being affected by someone you personally didn't know?

I guess you can call me insensitive but I can't get worked up about someone I personally didn't know. I go to funerals and I can sympathize with someone who has lost another person close to them but aside from that, I realize it's a part of life and everyone has to go sometime. I'm sure his parents are devestated (there is nothing worse than outliving your children).

The only other thing that I can think of is perhaps you're putting yourself in the situation and imagining what if it was you that lost someone close to you or even worse if that was you. That can sometimes stir up emotions.

[One-Way]

Re: How do people live after a tragic death?

Well, I am obviously thinking about what it would be like to go through that, so yeah. I'm not getting affected by their death, I'm just sad for their families. Yeah, it's a part of life... if you're insensitive and can get over anything.