notes and comments

[lampron]

Re: elegy

What does that tell you

about Armenian contempt

for selfless intellectual labor?

Armenian contempt for selfless work comes from a complete absence (historically) of any common aim or ambition!

[arabaliozian]

Re: elegy

Thursday, July 04, 2013

***************************************

AS I SEE IT

*************************

Can there be such a thing as an honest capitalist

in the eyes of a Marxist?

Or a good infidel in the eyes of a Muslim?

Or a good Armenian in the eyes of another Armenian?

*

Kemal was smart: he knew he could count

on the ignorance and stupidity of the average Turk.

Our bosses, bishops, and benefactors are smart too…

*

Atheists are not born but made

and what makes them is

the arrogance, intolerance, and cruelty of men

who speak in the name of God.

*

The enemy within is invincible.

*

“Homo homini lupus” (man is wolf to men).

What is an Armenian to another Armenian?

A lamb?

*

The Turks were smart:

they knew they could get away with murder.

We were dumb: we thought they wouldn’t dare!

#

ON POETS

*******************************

In a recent issue of the NEW YORKER,

that until recently consistently refused to print profanities,

I read the following exchange:




“You xxxxxxx,” she snarled.

“You’re the xxxxxxx,” I said.

“I hate you.”

“Ditto,” I said. “Ditto and square it.”




Because I favor short lines

some readers think I am a poet.

I am not!

I don’t remember to have ever written a single line

about nightingales serenading the moon

or the eternal snows of Mount Ararat.

Not my style.

*

As a failure I write about failures.

It tales one to know one.

And I don’t write.

I snarl!

*

And speaking of poets:

In Armenian-American parlance

poets are referred to as vodanavorjis.

#

SPEAKING FOR MYSELF

**********************************

The 1% may know better

but when they are wrong

they are catastrophically wrong –

universal bankruptcy, wars, massacres, genocides…

*

I have more critics than a dog has fleas.

I like to reply to all of them

including the contemptible ones.

But I draw a line to those who are beneath contempt.

*

In the first one-third of my life

I was mostly busy committing blunders.

In the second, I tried very hard not to repeat them.

And in the final third my main concern is

coming to terms with my mortality.

As for saving the nation:

I leave that to our dime-a-dozen pundits

with Napoleonic ambitions.

*

If I can make a nuisance of myself

to a handful of readers,

I ask for nothing more.

Now then, go ahead and call me

a megalomaniacal daydreamer.

#

[arabaliozian]

Re: elegy

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

***************************************

CONFESSIONS

**************************

Whenever I am told I am a disgrace to the nation, I think:

what if it’s the other way around?

*

Only a patriot with the IQ of a jackass

identifies the Homeland with the regime.

*

Writing has nothing to do with patriotism

and everything to do with objectivity;

in the same way that what a politician says

has nothing to do with the truth

and everything to do with propaganda.

*

Before making an assertion consider its contradiction,

yoou may see more truth there.

*

Do not repeat what you were taught as a child:

remember your schoolteacher had a family to support.

*

“A dog knows his master but not his master’s master.”

*

If you think I write as I do

because I am some kind of daydreaming eccentric

with illusions of grandeur, I say:

ever since I came to terms with my own mediocrity,

I write with greater freedom.

That’s the only difference between me

and other writers and me.

#

REALITY VERSUS FANTASY

*****************************************

Sooner or later all belief systems and ideologies

fall into the hands of cynical manipulators, opportunists,

power-hungry mediocrities and their assorted dupes

who at all times and everywhere outnumber decent human beings

who can think for themselves.

*

The history of Christianity was written

not by Christ and his Apostles but by Popes and Martin Luther

(“a wild boar” in the words of a contemporary pope).

*

The history of nationalism was written not by Mazzini

but by the likes of Mussolini, Franco, and Hitler.

*

The history of the British Empire was written

not by “gentlemen” but by “shopkeepers” (Napoleon).

*

Had Marx foreseen the Gulag,

my guess is he would have burned DAS KAPITAL.

*

To speak of religion and ideologies

and to emphasize the role of their founders

at the expense of their successors

is to engage in high-altitude thinking,

that is to say, to inhabit a world

of abstractions, fantasy, and propaganda.

#

WINNERS AND LOSERS

*************************************

In a jungle documentary on TV I saw

nine lions attacking a buffalo and devouring it

even as it was defending itself.

It made me think of the medieval Armenian heresy

– the Paulicians I think – who believed

the world was created not by God but the Devil.

If I am not mistaken, the foremost authority on this heresy

is an Armenian who is quoted frequently

in Toynbee big book, CONSTANTINE PORPHYROGENITUS.

*

If you speak the truth,

liars will conspire against you.

To remain silent when liars conspire against you

amounts to joining their conspiracy.

*

Pirandello: “If you confront a man with his own image,

there will arise a crisis.”

It follows; understanding oneself

cannot be a pleasant experience.

Which is why most people are dupes

who prefer to live in a world of lies;

and if the lie is delivered by a king or pope,

or for that matter, boss, bishop or benefactor,

and contradicted by a scribbler who can’t make ends meet,

guess who will be the winner or loser.

#

PROBLEMS (XXXII)

***********************************

Our main problem is not “brainless leaders” (Avedik Issahakian)

but brainless leaders who have been brainwashed to believe

they are the brains of the people.

*

Happy is the man who believes

he cannot be contradicted – also a damn fool.

*

Charles Peguy: “Fame potentially is the dictatorship of reputation

and therefore always potentially impure.”

Which is why I prefer to be just an honest witness

with a name that has the double demerit of being

difficult to remember and pronounce,

and identified me as someone who

(to quote a good friend) bears a Turkish “damgha” (seal).

Or even better – as a reader from the Homeland once put it:

“Baliozoghlu, you are no better than a piece of xxxx.”

*

You may gather by now that our Sovietized brothers and sisters

don’t like to stand on ceremony.

In their eyes we of the Diaspora might as well be

white trash (“aghber”).

*

But then, nobody ever said to be an honest Armenian

comes without a price.

To console myself I remember an often repeated

Hollywood phrase: “It may be xxxx but it has integrity.”

#

[lampron]

Re: elegy

Or even better – as a reader from the Homeland once put it:

“Baliozoghlu, you are no better than a piece of xxxx.”

*

the same Armenian patriot in the homeland who didn't hesitate to insult you -

would be terrified of insulting someone from another nationality (Russian, American, Iranian, Turkish..)

a sure sign of slave mentality

[arabaliozian]

Re: elegy

Saturday, July 13, 2013

****************************************

GOOD NEWS

********************

The good news is:

silencing dissent is no longer as easy as it used to be.

*

THE RIGHT QUESTION

*********************************

When something goes wrong, I no longer ask

“Who is to blame?” but what was my contribution.

*

FREEDOM

*********************

Freedom is overrated by slaves.

Consider what we have been doing with ours.

*

LINES

********************

There is a line that divides knowledge from ignorance,

and the line is invisible.




Whenever a line is invisible

men will imagine they can see it

because they have 20/20 vision.

*

MEN AND WOMEN

********************************

Some men are more like women

and some women are more like men.

Or, as the Turkish saying has it:

“Among ten men nine are sure to be women.”

Beware of men who stress their masculinity

and women who rely too much on their femininity:

they are up to no good.

#

FORGIVE MY FRENCH

***********************************

“Morsi was democratically elected.”

He was, yes, to be a servant of the people,

all the people and not a fraction of it

that tends to view all others as heretics and infidels,

that is to say, the lowest scum on earth.

*

And speaking of scum:

to be democratically elected does not mean

to have a license to amass a fortune by means of thievery.

*

During World War II the French called Petain,

their head of state, “putin,” or is it “putain” (forgive my French)

because he collaborated with Hitler.

*

As long as our bishops enjoy the support of a benexxxxtor

why should they give a damn about the collection plate?

And as long as our “Putains”enjoy Putin’s support,

why should they give a damn about serving the people?

#

EXPLANATIONS

********************************

If you decide that the men at the top can be trusted

because they know better, you have no choice but to believe that

even when they lie, cheat, and steal they do so for your own good.

*

Speaking of misplaced trust and the men at the top:

Not only did they slaughter indiscriminately

they also wanted to collect the insurance money.

They thought they could fool odars as easily

as they had fooled Armenians for centuries.

*

To a politician, ideas can be useful only in so far as

they can be exploited as effective tools of deception.

*

It is myself that I criticize in others.

What I really say is:

I was there once and I was dead wrong.

If I have lived long enough to tell the tale

It may be because I am just about the luckiest man on earth.

I have no other explanation.

#

[arabaliozian]

Re: elegy

Thursday, July 18, 2013
***************************************
ON WRITERS AND WRITING
**********************************
It has been observed that
one of the most frequently used words
in the Armenian language is “kidem” (I know).
There is very little that an Armenian doesn’t know
and that little cannot be worth knowing.
*
The average Armenian
(assuming such a creature exists)
has nothing but contempt for writers
except when he decided to be one himself.
*
The ambition of every Armenian writer is
to become famous in the odar world;
as for being famous among Armenians:
Who in his right mind would want to be a target
of verbal abuse, betrayal, starvation, and an early death?
*
Style is being yourself provided of course
you know who you are and where you are going.
*
If you read me because you want to feel proud
as an Armenian, you’ve got the wrong man.
You want pride?
Read Charents and ignore his killers.
*
To write means to introduce meaning
into countless fragments of reality.
No one can do justice to all the fragments
if only because only God knows all of them.
*
I know where I am going;
I also know most of my readers don’t want to go there
because it is against their religion,
and their religion is a watered down xxxxtail
of phony patriotism and verbal piety
with very little alcoholic content.
#
NOTES & COMMENTS
************************************
Our environment,
the very environment we have created,
can church out only unprincipled mediocrities.
If you want to achieve excellence
you have no choice but to work
in an alien environment.
*
When I was young and happy,
I wanted to be happier because I thought
I deserved better or so I liked to believe.
But gradually I learned that happiness,
true happiness, means coming to terms
with one’s misery.
*
Our genocide in the Ottoman Empire
had a beginning and an end.
The moral collapse of our leadership has neither.
What it has instead is a millennial history
of gradual decline and degeneration
with no end in sight.
#
FF
******************************
When two dissimilar intellects
separated by time and space
agree on an idea, it is safe to assume
that there must be some truth in it.
*
Case in point:
Tolstoy: “The higher I rise in the opinion of others,
the lower I sink in my own.”
*
Saint-Simon: “My self-esteem has always increased
in direct proportion to the damage I was doing
to my reputation.”
*
In today’s parlance:
“F*ck fame!”
#

[bell-the-cat]

Re: elegy

Posting in Ara Baliozian's 93-page ego thread. F*ck fame!

[lampron]

Re: elegy

Saturday, July 13, 2013


They thought they could fool odars as easily

as they had fooled Armenians for centuries.

*

The ottomans fooled the Armenians because they wanted to be fooled!

in the empire, Armenians were known as the 'loyal millet' -- Armenians were seen as very pro-ottoman, which means very easy to control

[arabaliozian]

Re: elegy

Thursday, July 25, 2013

**********************************

NOTES & COMMENTS

**********************************

“You are not an Armenian writer!”

I consider that a compliment.

I don’t write as an Armenian.

I write as a human being.

There is no merit in being a member of an exclusive club

at the expense of your humanity.

*

As a child I was exposed

to many lectures on obedience and respect,

but I don’t remember a single occasion

in which subservience was mentioned.

*

If only I could count the number of times

I should have said nothing

instead of saying the wrong thing.

*

I am suspicious of men say “I know”

more often than “I don’t know.”

*

The only time I feel sure about my moral stance

is when I act against my own interests.

*

Nobody can be as free as a nobody.

The higher you rise,

the heavier the chains.

*

We have no choice but to admit that

we have played a central role in our history –

in our defeats (countless)

as well as victories (very few),

in our tragedies (without number)

as well we comedies (one or at most two).

#

HAVE I SAID THIS BEFORE?

*****************************************

“You repeat yourself.”

“And you are an idiot.”

“Why am I an idiot?”

“Because you waste your time reading someone

who says the same thing over and over again.”

“I thought I was being helpful.”

“You want to be helpful? Say that

to our speechifiers and sermonizers.”

“Say what?”

“You repeat yourself.”

*

HE REPEATED HIMSELF

**********************************

A headline in a French magazine:

“The Zen Master was a serial killer.”

Further down: “What’s the number of his victims?

Hard to say. There are new revelations every day.”

*

EITHER/OR

*********************

Solidarity is not our forte.

Either that or we have a highly developed sense of

mutual disapproval.

*

ON BAD MARRIAGES

*******************************

Blame neither the man nor the woman.

Blame instead the games nature

(or the irresistible urge to procreate)

plays on both.

*

THE CONSOLATIONS OF MEDIOCRITY

***********************************************

“Like Shakespeare, Bach, and Vermeer,

he was not much prized by his contemporaries.”

#

ON A REVOLTING

DEVELOPMENT

************************************

My worst enemies are former best friends.

You will surprise me if you say

you are surprised.

*

ON MORAL SUPERIORITY

*******************************

Have you ever heard a morally superior man

brag about his moral superiority?

No, of course not! It never happens.

Only pimps and xxxxs brag about their moral superiority.

Something similar could be said of patriotism.

Whenever an Armenian brags about

the superior brand of his patriotism

I know his next move will be

to crap on me – in the name of patriotism, of course!

*

THEM & US

**************************************

If you can’t brainwash them, silence them.

If you can silence them, why reason with them?

If they are silenced, who will listen to them?

#

[arabaliozian]

Re: elegy

Sunday, July 28, 2013
************************************
DIARY
********************
Because our youth in the Homeland
was galvanized by petty cash,
some thought that cause for celebration.
As a skeptic with a touch of pessimism
in all things Armenian, all I am prepared to say is,
“Inshallah!”
*
I have no reason to trust Turkish or Azeri patriotism.
Neither do I trust American, German, or Russian patriotism.
Now then, tell me please,
why should I trust Armenian patriotism?
*
One good thing about old age:
the end can’t be too far
and the end of a bad thing
is bound to be good.
*
Muslims don’t respect one another
but they are unanimous in demanding the respect
of the world, including and above all the respect of infidels.
Are we different?
# NEXT DAY
************************
On Armenian TV today
an interview with a community leader from Greece
named Kurdoghlian – probably Kurdoghlanian
(literally son of a Kurd).
*
Question: Will we ever know how many
of our community leaders are odars or even Turks
(according to one of our elder statesmen)
who speak Armenian fluently?
Please note that I have nothing against odars.
As an Armenian I am even flattered that
some of them choose to work for us.
Unless of course the only reason they do so
is that the pay is good; or as a community
we are too ignorant, backward, and naïve
to tell the difference between a good leader
and one that is both corrupt and incompetent
in addition to being a habitual and compulsive liar.
*
11th COMMANDMENT
**********************************
“Thou shalt not look up to dividers
for moral and political guidance.”
*
ON EXPLANATIONS
******************************
We say an explanation makes sense
only when it runs parallel
to our limitations and prejudices.
#
REFLECTIONS
**********************************
Blunders are not planned.
They are more like unintended consequences of our ignorance,
inaudible echoes of our limitations,
and invisible reflections of our stupidity and arrogance.
*
The biggest mistake we make
is to assume that man is a reasonable being.
In reality Homo sapiens is less sapiens
and more ignoramus.
*
The rotten apple false.
Time is the true revolutionary.
But unlike Chopin’s Etude,
its tempo is Adagio molto.
*
I criticize myself in others.
*
The function of literature is to say
what everyone suspects to be true.
#
FROM MY NOTEBOOKS
*******************************************
To stand on your own feet
does not mean to step on someone else’s throat.
*
Old age: not a confrontation but a siege.
*
If luck is on your side
even your liabilities become assets.
*
My first job at the age of seven or eight
was that of an apprentice to a blacksmith
in the neighborhood.
I didn’t think of it as work.
I even looked forward to it.
*
To be a Romanian, according to Saul Steinberg,
means to “carry a curse, the place from which you come,
we carry it inside us. It doesn’t heal easily. Maybe never.”
*
The astonishing ease with which we make false assumptions
about ideas, people, oneself.
Every devout believer is convinced
anyone who does not share his belief is wrong,
maybe even in cahoots with the devil.
*
An academic once tried to explain to me
why a poem by Hardy was a masterpiece.
I felt as though I was being taught a new language.
*
In the last pages of Richard Burrton’s diary
many entries consist of a single word: “Booze…”
At one point he writes:
“Both Elizabeth’s and my manners are appalling…”
*
When asked what he reads, Glenn Gould is said to have replied:
“Everything by Thomas Mann, Kafka, and the Russians…”
#