Why Should Hands Beat When They Can Caress?

[Siamanto]

ARMENIA: ROUNDTABLE ON VIOLENCE AGAINST CHILDREN

YEREVAN, 27 July - UNICEF, Council of Europe and representatives of the
Ministry of Foreign Affairs, the Ministry of Labour and Social Issues
and State Police called today for immediate action to put an end to
violence against children in Armenia.

"In Armenia we need to give the issue of violence against children in
homes, schools and other places in their community the visibility and
public attention this deserves," Sheldon Yett, UNICEF Representative in
Armenia said, addressing a round table organized on the heels of the
Regional Consultation on Violence Against Children held in Ljubljana on
5-7 July 2005. "It is essential that polices and procedures are in place
to help prevent violence against children, support child victims and
strengthen reporting, referral and response mechanisms."

Studies in many countries have repeatedly shown that victims of physical
abuse during childhood have an increased risk of becoming violent
offenders themselves.

"Violence against children can occur everywhere, in every family and in
every society. In Armenia, as in almost all countries, it is often a
hidden problem that is vastly under-reported," Yett said

A 2003 UNICEF Armenia survey found that poor living conditions,
unemployment and the psychological stress of poverty had resulted in an
increase in the number of cases of abuse and neglect not only in the
family but also in schools and children's institutions.

The study revealed that in many families slapping and beating are
perceived as a "means of upbringing". In many children's institutions as
well as in schools corporal punishment is still a common practice.

The Ljubljana conference was hosted by the Government of Slovenia and
organized in close consultation with UNICEF, WHO the Council of Europe,
the Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights and the NGO
Advisory Panel on the UN Study on Violence Against Children. The
consultation is one of nine worldwide that will feed into a major study
mandated by the UN General Assembly on Violence Against Children.

Representatives of 40 countries as well as 24 child delegates
participating in the Regional Consultations in Ljubljana adopted a final
document called "Ljubljana Commitment". By adopting this document, the
Government of Armenia and other countries in the region pledged to take
immediate steps to tackle the problem of violence against children in
their respective countries and to adopt measures to prevent such cases
from happening in future.

For more information:

Emil Sahakyan, Communication Officer, UNICEF Armenia: (+374 10) 523 546,
[email protected]

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http://www.unicef.org/ceecis/media_2496.html

http://groong.usc.edu/news/msg120286.html

[Siamanto]

HANDS ARE NOT FOR BEATING

By Onnik Krikorian /UNICEF Armenia

YEREVAN, Armenia - Mane Tonoyan might seem a little too young to concern
herself with the problem of violence against children in Armenia but
this 16-year old is somehow "different." A member of the Manana
Youth-Cultural non-governmental organization, she has already made a
one-minute-film on the subject and at the beginning of July, was one of
25 child participants at the regional consultation for the UN Study on
Violence Against Children in Europe and Central Asia.

The consultation held from 5-7 July 2005 was hosted in Ljubljana, the
Slovenian capital, and organized by UNICEF as well as other UN agencies.
It was one of nine such consultations that will eventually contribute to
a major study of the problem by UN Secretary General Kofi Annan next
year. Accompanying Mane was Naira Avetisyan, UNICEF's Child Protection
Officer in Armenia, and three representatives of various government
agencies.

"We were asked to find someone familiar with child rights and
experienced with making films and writing articles," says Avetisyan.
"That is why we chose Mane. Taking into account that Manana is
experienced in producing materials to distribute among peers we thought
it best to select a child from this organization. We will also be
holding a round table in Armenia at the end of July."

Certainly, Mane seems to have benefited greatly from the consultation.

"Before going to Ljubljana, I was concerned about violence against
children although I wasn't as well informed as I am now," she says. "In
particular, I learned more about the consequences that violence can have
on children. For example, even a slap on the face can emotionally damage
a child. Before the consultation, I don't think that I would have ever
considered it as violence."

According to Mane, almost all children in Armenia are subjected to
violence in some shape or form. In particular, she says, it is
particular evident in schools and institutions - something that others
attending the consultation also concluded. Unfortunately, she says, when
violence becomes "acceptable" in the classroom it can then also manifest
itself in the form of bullying.

"In Armenia, there is very little awareness of this problem," explains
Mane. `But violence exists - in the family, in schools and particularly
in institutions. Beating is considered an acceptable way of disciplining
children. However, it's terrible if a teacher hits a child in front of
others. It's humiliating and can have a serious impact on their self-esteem.

I want to raise awareness of this problem among other children but also
parents and teachers. First of all, however, it is necessary to raise
awareness among the public at large."

"Of course," concludes Mane, "parents have the right to discipline their
children when it is necessary and it is important that nobody attempts
to challenge their authority. However, I would like to remind parents
that they were children once and their actions now might have an impact
on how future generations are also raised. Violence is not the way to
bring up children."


For more information:

Emil Sahakyan, Communication Officer, Armenia
Tel: (374 10) 523-546, 566-497
E-Mail: [email protected]

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http://www.unicef.org/armenia/reallives_2479.html

http://groong.usc.edu/news/msg120287.html

[Baron Dants]

Beating kids is retarded. I've never been hit once growing up, and I'd like to think that I turned out alright.

[Sip]

Usually the threat of the beating up is more effective than the beating up itself. But in order for the threat to be an actual threat, there must be one or two nice beatings for the kid when growing up for him or her to realize it's not a joke. But there is a point beyond which simple physical beating or punishment turns into a repeated pattern of abuse. That's the line that mustn't be crossed. But the two or three well deserved spankings in the life of a growing child will do wonders.

[karoaper]

I haven't been beaten but I have been slapped painfully in the face maybe 2-3 times all my life. I think there are sometimes when the child continually crosses the line and seems not to care. Speaking and explaining will not really work because the child is in his own world at that time, like a drunk person. You can reason with him/her. You have to take action in the form of some discipline. Sometimes hitting is the most effective form of discipline. But I'd say that a quick sharp strike, like a painful slap, is better than long and dull beatings, like spankings or belt and such. I pray to God I never have to hit my children, but I'd rather swallow it down than let very bad behaviour and actions go unpunished.

[Siamanto]

I haven't been beaten but I have been slapped painfully in the face maybe 2-3 times all my life. I think there are sometimes when the child continually crosses the line and seems not to care. Speaking and explaining will not really work because the child is in his own world at that time, like a drunk person. You can reason with him/her. You have to take action in the form of some discipline. Sometimes hitting is the most effective form of discipline. But I'd say that a quick sharp strike, like a painful slap, is better than long and dull beatings, like spankings or belt and such. I pray to God I never have to hit my children, but I'd rather swallow it down than let very bad behaviour and actions go unpunished.

My observation of both children(vaguely pre-teens), adolescents (vaguely teenagers), adults(vaguely 20-60) and seniors suggests that, in general, it's not more difficult to reason with children then with adolescents, adults or seniors. Each category has its own difficulties. Maybe it seems more difficult because adults are in their own little world?
I have also noticed that other categories get far more dangerously and stubbornly into their own world and for very long periods of time. As an extreme example, I would mention "The Tenant" of Polanski.

[Sip]

Although kids are in general quite stupid, unfortunately they often have a tremendous ability to outsmart a lot of parents ... so "reasoning" doesn't always work. Until they are able to develop their own sense of morals, it's beneficial to have some physical force/threat to keep them in check.

[spiral]

Although kids are in general quite stupid, unfortunately they often have a tremendous ability to outsmart a lot of parents ... so "reasoning" doesn't always work. Until they are able to develop their own sense of morals, it's beneficial to have some physical force/threat to keep them in check.

Kids in general are not quite stupid, they are KIDS.

Before an adult makes a choice to take on the responsibility of parenting, they need to make sure they are ‘smart’ enough to excel in such ‘reasoning’ skills needed to discipline their child. Physical force inflicted by an adult onto a child only makes evident that the person is an unfit parent, in need of counseling.

[Siamanto]

I have also noticed that other categories get far more dangerously and stubbornly into their own world and for very long periods of time. As an extreme example, I would mention "The Tenant" of Polanski.

Obsessive which hunt is another good example of a dangerous and stubborn behavior where adults can get into their own world and for very long periods of time. That is seldom - if ever - the case with children - unless instigated by adults. At the contrary, I have always admired, in children, the ability to naturally and gracefully forget one mischief - when admonished - to immediately start working on another one! They are not as obsessive as we - adults - can be - or may become.
I love devilish angels!