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The Ugly Book
(The Ugly Book is a satirical childern's poetry book from the 1980's. It was one of my fav kid books, and I was somewhat shocked to here it's been out of print for a good while. So here on this forum it shall live on. Eventually I will scan the illustrations, but for now i'll leave lines for where they go)
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" If I were you, I wouldn't look, because this is....
THE UGLY BOOK (by Arthur Crowley)
----------------------------
UGLINESS is everywhere,
on the ground and in the air,
in the air and in the sky,
----------------------------
Oh look, an ugly butterfly!
----------------------------
BUTTERFLIES are nasty things,
they have two big repulsive wings.
All red and yellow, brown and blue,
with spots and botches and purple hues.
And wht they do is waste their time,
flitting back and forth for hours,
Among those UGLY things called FLOWERS.
-----------------------------------------
Now FLOWERS are just mostly weeds,
they're really something no one needs.
By summer most of them are gone,
thank goodness they don't stay to long!
Just think of all the time you waste:
You pick them, sniff them, make boquets,
or weave a garland around your waist.
I'm sure that if you try you'll find
a better way to spend your time.
-----------------------------------------
ENOUGH to make you shut your eyes!
The UGLY things you have to see!
Look up and blotting out the sky,
is that disgusting thing the TREE.
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With knots and bark and limbs and leaves
(never mind the shade it gives),
But worst of all a TREE provides
a place for horrid beasts to live.
----------------------------------------------
Where squirrels and chipmunks and other pests
can climb in holes and make a mess.
Where birds can build their smelly nests,
or bugs can stop to catch their breath.
I don't believe you'll ever see
a thing more UGLY than a TREE.
----------------------------------------------
Unless you look up higher still,
and maybe use binoculars,
they rise at dusk behind the hills,
That unimpressive MOON and STARS.
----------------------------------------------
The MOON is an unhealthy fellow,
it seems he's been sick awhile.
His face is such a dreadful yellow.
I can't imagine how he smiles.
----------------------------------------------
THE STARS?
They're just ten billion light that clutter up the universe.
Not a very pretty sight.
And all that twinkling gets on my nerves.
----------------------------------------------
And there's SATURN with it's silly rings,
and JUPITER with it's twelve ugly moons!
Who wants to see these awful things?
I don't thnk dawn could come to soon.
----------------------------------------------
That's why you should stay in at night.
Outside, if you look up you might
be forced to see a METEORITE.
There isn't a more UGLY sight,
than things that light the sky at night.
-----------------------------------------------
Unless you look a little higher,
the worst of all is yet to come.
That ordinary ball of fire,
The dirty, double-crossing SUN!
-----------------------------------------------
At dawn he always wakes you up
When you'd rather much sleep instead.
But then at night he lets you down,
And off you go straight back to bed.
In winter he's not hot enough,
in summertime he burns your nose,
and makes you wear a swimming suit,
and put mothballs in your winter clothes.
----------------------------------------------
Of course, he's nothing you can see,
the SUN is much to bright himself.
He uses all his energy,
to let us see everything else!
So you don't need an UGLY BOOK,
All you have to doo is look.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
" If I were you, I wouldn't look, because this is....
THE UGLY BOOK (by Arthur Crowley)
----------------------------
UGLINESS is everywhere,
on the ground and in the air,
in the air and in the sky,
----------------------------
Oh look, an ugly butterfly!
----------------------------
BUTTERFLIES are nasty things,
they have two big repulsive wings.
All red and yellow, brown and blue,
with spots and botches and purple hues.
And wht they do is waste their time,
flitting back and forth for hours,
Among those UGLY things called FLOWERS.
-----------------------------------------
Now FLOWERS are just mostly weeds,
they're really something no one needs.
By summer most of them are gone,
thank goodness they don't stay to long!
Just think of all the time you waste:
You pick them, sniff them, make boquets,
or weave a garland around your waist.
I'm sure that if you try you'll find
a better way to spend your time.
-----------------------------------------
ENOUGH to make you shut your eyes!
The UGLY things you have to see!
Look up and blotting out the sky,
is that disgusting thing the TREE.
----------------------------------------------
With knots and bark and limbs and leaves
(never mind the shade it gives),
But worst of all a TREE provides
a place for horrid beasts to live.
----------------------------------------------
Where squirrels and chipmunks and other pests
can climb in holes and make a mess.
Where birds can build their smelly nests,
or bugs can stop to catch their breath.
I don't believe you'll ever see
a thing more UGLY than a TREE.
----------------------------------------------
Unless you look up higher still,
and maybe use binoculars,
they rise at dusk behind the hills,
That unimpressive MOON and STARS.
----------------------------------------------
The MOON is an unhealthy fellow,
it seems he's been sick awhile.
His face is such a dreadful yellow.
I can't imagine how he smiles.
----------------------------------------------
THE STARS?
They're just ten billion light that clutter up the universe.
Not a very pretty sight.
And all that twinkling gets on my nerves.
----------------------------------------------
And there's SATURN with it's silly rings,
and JUPITER with it's twelve ugly moons!
Who wants to see these awful things?
I don't thnk dawn could come to soon.
----------------------------------------------
That's why you should stay in at night.
Outside, if you look up you might
be forced to see a METEORITE.
There isn't a more UGLY sight,
than things that light the sky at night.
-----------------------------------------------
Unless you look a little higher,
the worst of all is yet to come.
That ordinary ball of fire,
The dirty, double-crossing SUN!
-----------------------------------------------
At dawn he always wakes you up
When you'd rather much sleep instead.
But then at night he lets you down,
And off you go straight back to bed.
In winter he's not hot enough,
in summertime he burns your nose,
and makes you wear a swimming suit,
and put mothballs in your winter clothes.
----------------------------------------------
Of course, he's nothing you can see,
the SUN is much to bright himself.
He uses all his energy,
to let us see everything else!
So you don't need an UGLY BOOK,
All you have to doo is look.
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