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2010 Winter Olympics Ka-na-da

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  • #1

    2010 Winter Olympics Ka-na-da

    Now that Vancouver will be hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking.

    Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International tourism website.

    Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked (so they claim)


    Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?(England)
    A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

    Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
    A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

    Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
    A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

    Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? (Sweden)
    A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

    Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? (England)
    A: No, but you'd better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes.

    Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing inCanada ? (USA)
    A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

    Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? (USA)
    A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

    Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? (England)
    A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

    Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
    A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

    Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? (Germany)
    A: No, WE don't stink.

    Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada ? (USA)
    A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

    Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
    A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

    Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? (USA)
    A: Only at Thanksgiving.

    Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
    A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

    Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
    A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

    Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
    A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
    Last edited by KanadaHye; 01-27-2010, 06:23 AM.
    "Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you're a man, you take it." ~Malcolm X
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  • #2
    Re: 2010 Winter Olympics Ka-na-da

    A man in an Arizona supermarket tries to buy a half a head of lettuce.

    The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask his manager about it.

    Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some ass_hole wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half."

    The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"

    "Canada, sir," the boy replied.

    "Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked.

    The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but wh_ores and hockey players up there."

    "Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada."

    "No sh*t?" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?

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    • #3
      Re: 2010 Winter Olympics Ka-na-da

      "Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you're a man, you take it." ~Malcolm X

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