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Enjoy the English letter from an italian man, a complain letter to a hotel in London
Dear Signore Directore,
Now i am a -tella you story how I was a treated at your hotella.
I'ma come here to a hotella.
I go down to eat soma breakfast.
I tella the waiter I wanna bacon and eggs and two pissis of toast.
He bringa me only onea piss........
I tella him I wanna two piss....
He say, go to the toilet
I say you no unnerstan'. I wanna two piss ona my plate.....
He say you better no piss ona a plate you sonna ma xxxxx!
I don't even know the man and he calla me sonna ma xxxxx!!....
Later, I go to eata soma dinner at another restaurant....
The waitress bringa spoon, ana knife, but no fock.....
I say I wanna 'fock'.....
She tella me everybody wanna fock....
I say, you no unnerstan'...I wanna fock on the table.
She say you better not fock on the table you sonna ma xxxxx!
I don't even know the woman an' she calla me sonna ma xxxxx!
So I go back to my room, an' there's no sheet on my bed....
How can I sleep with no sheet in my bed?
So I calla down to receptione and tella:" I wanna sheet!"
He say, you wanna xxxx, go to the toilet.
I say you no unnerstan'. I wanna sheet on the bed.
He say you better not xxxx on the bed, you sonna ma xxxxx.
I don't even know the man an' he calla me sonna ma xxxxx!!
So I go to receptions and ask for a bill, I no wanna stay in this
hotella no more.
when i have paid the billa, the recepcionist say to me:"Thak you,
and peace on you."
I say:" Piss on you too, you sonnawaxxxxx! I go back to Italy! I never more
comma stay your hotella no more, you sonnawaxxxxx!"
Sincerely
Enrico Moralli
Dear Signore Directore,
Now i am a -tella you story how I was a treated at your hotella.
I'ma come here to a hotella.
I go down to eat soma breakfast.
I tella the waiter I wanna bacon and eggs and two pissis of toast.
He bringa me only onea piss........
I tella him I wanna two piss....
He say, go to the toilet
I say you no unnerstan'. I wanna two piss ona my plate.....
He say you better no piss ona a plate you sonna ma xxxxx!
I don't even know the man and he calla me sonna ma xxxxx!!....
Later, I go to eata soma dinner at another restaurant....
The waitress bringa spoon, ana knife, but no fock.....
I say I wanna 'fock'.....
She tella me everybody wanna fock....
I say, you no unnerstan'...I wanna fock on the table.
She say you better not fock on the table you sonna ma xxxxx!
I don't even know the woman an' she calla me sonna ma xxxxx!
So I go back to my room, an' there's no sheet on my bed....
How can I sleep with no sheet in my bed?
So I calla down to receptione and tella:" I wanna sheet!"
He say, you wanna xxxx, go to the toilet.
I say you no unnerstan'. I wanna sheet on the bed.
He say you better not xxxx on the bed, you sonna ma xxxxx.
I don't even know the man an' he calla me sonna ma xxxxx!!
So I go to receptions and ask for a bill, I no wanna stay in this
hotella no more.
when i have paid the billa, the recepcionist say to me:"Thak you,
and peace on you."
I say:" Piss on you too, you sonnawaxxxxx! I go back to Italy! I never more
comma stay your hotella no more, you sonnawaxxxxx!"
Sincerely
Enrico Moralli