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A survey of why the chicken really crossed the road

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  • A survey of why the chicken really crossed the road

    I conducted a nation-wide survey as to why this very memorable joke that has been the classic elementary jest for all Americans, has decided to cross that famous road. Since many of you here on this very forum are cliche', I submit to you my predictable results:

    GEORGE W BUSH
    We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
    know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either againstus, or for us, no middle ground, and I bet he's on his way to the land of the free and brave, son: Texas.

    COLIN POWELL
    Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of
    the chicken crossing the road.

    Condaleeza Rice
    We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
    allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    JOHN KERRY
    Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it

    RALPH NADER
    The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by
    unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled
    habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the
    wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV that my xxxxx organization always protests for but never gets anywhere. It has become just a hobby now

    PAT BUCHANAN
    To steal the job of a decent, hardworking full blooded American.

    A BEIRUTSI FROM GCC
    *Lifts head from between his 2nd cousin's snatch* I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting
    a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there
    is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road
    syndrome. Can you believe this?!? How much more of this can real
    Armenians take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars.
    And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money these damn Hayastancis took from us to build a road for chickens to cross when we were fighting for the poor Arabs.

    MARTHA STEWART
    No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
    standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.No little bird gave me any insider information and my lawyer will explain this.

    DR SEUSS
    Did the chicken cross the road or was it a toad? Yes, the
    chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

    ARMENIANCLUB.COM
    To go n kik it wit da other chickens cuz they have a life. Ugh I dont carewho are you to judge?!

    MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
    I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
    having their motives called into question since the barn of justice has been hatched now.

    GRANDPA ARMEN
    In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road because somebody told us the chicken crossed the road and it was in the snow, and that was good enough since the government said so. Did not dare disagree.

    BARBARA WALTERS
    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
    chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream
    of crossing the road.

    JOHN LENNON
    Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

    ARISTOTLE
    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    KARL MARX
    It was an historic inevitability.

    CAPTAIN KIRK
    To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

    SIGMUND FREUD
    The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
    reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

    BILL GATES
    I have just witnessed eChicken2003, which will not only cross roads,
    but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
    checkbook. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN
    Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
    chicken?

    BILL CLINTON
    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
    chicken?

    AL GORE
    I invented the chicken in my lock-box

    KKK MEMBER
    The chicken crossed da rowd cuz it was tired n sick of foreigners takin over his road n there wuz two meny niggers on the other side!

    FARSI F@GS
    *In the midst of a salon dying their hair blonde and immitating the latest cosmo magazine* Did I miss just the one cheeken? Allah sed so the roat was in our country and eeeet wuzzzzzz a perjsian cheekennnn
    Last edited by Nimrod; 06-11-2004, 02:44 PM.

  • #2
    TOM BROKAW
    Gerald Ford's chicken crossed the road today.... & I'M GAY

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