1. Constipated People Don't Give A Sh!t.
2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
3. If You Drink, Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.
4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
6. Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point.
7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
8. Thank You For Pot Smoking.
9. To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
10. If At First You Don't Succeed, Blame Someone Else And Seek Counselling.
11. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings."
12. If You Can Read This, I've lost My Trailer.
13. Horn Broken - Watch For Finger.
14. If You're Not A Haemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
15. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.
16. The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
17. I Have The Body Of A God-Buddha.
18. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me.
19. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.
20. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
21. If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
22. The Face Is Familiar, But I Can't Quite Remember My Name.
23. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
24. Illiterate? Write For Help.
25. Honk If Anything Falls Off.
26. Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes.
27. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit.
28. I Do Whatever My Rice KrispiesTell Me To Do.
29. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong.
30. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
31. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over. [Seen Upside Down On A Jeep]
32. Guys: No Shirt, No Service Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
33. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
34. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.
35. Don't Be Sexes - xxxxxes Hate That.
36. Heart Attacks - God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
37. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
38. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is lost?
39. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch.
40. Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ....Got It!
41. All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
42. Some people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them.
43. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
44. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
45. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
46. So you're a feminist...Isn't that precious.
47. I need someone really bad. Are you really
2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
3. If You Drink, Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.
4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
6. Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point.
7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
8. Thank You For Pot Smoking.
9. To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
10. If At First You Don't Succeed, Blame Someone Else And Seek Counselling.
11. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings."
12. If You Can Read This, I've lost My Trailer.
13. Horn Broken - Watch For Finger.
14. If You're Not A Haemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
15. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.
16. The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
17. I Have The Body Of A God-Buddha.
18. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me.
19. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.
20. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
21. If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
22. The Face Is Familiar, But I Can't Quite Remember My Name.
23. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
24. Illiterate? Write For Help.
25. Honk If Anything Falls Off.
26. Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes.
27. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit.
28. I Do Whatever My Rice KrispiesTell Me To Do.
29. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong.
30. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
31. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over. [Seen Upside Down On A Jeep]
32. Guys: No Shirt, No Service Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
33. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
34. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.
35. Don't Be Sexes - xxxxxes Hate That.
36. Heart Attacks - God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
37. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
38. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is lost?
39. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch.
40. Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ....Got It!
41. All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
42. Some people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them.
43. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
44. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
45. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
46. So you're a feminist...Isn't that precious.
47. I need someone really bad. Are you really