Little Johnny

[ckBejug]

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question. "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"

"None.", replied Johnny "cause the rest would fly away."

"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher. "But I like the way you are thinking."

Little Johnny said, "I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third sucking the cone, which one is married?"

"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone?"

"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking."

[ckBejug]

Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what are those things on your chest!?" Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten. Johnny didn't forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, "Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float to heaven." Johnny thinks that's neat and asks no more questions. A few weeks later, Johnny's' dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, "Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's dying!!" His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy's dying?" "Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommy's' balloons and she's screaming "Oh God, I'm coming!"

[ckBejug]

Teacher: "Johnny, give me a sentence starting with 'I'"
Little Johnny: "I is..."
Teacher: "No, Little Johnny. Always say 'I am.'"
Little Johnny: "All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."