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#1 ) There's a little old Christian lady living next door to an atheist. Every morning the lady comes out onto her front porch and shouts "Praise the Lord!".
The atheist yells back, "There is no God".
She does this every morning with the same result. As time goes on, the lady runs into financial difficulties and has trouble buying food. She goes out onto the porch and asks God for help with groceries, then says "Praise the Lord".
The next morning she goes out onto the porch and there's the groceries she asked for, and of course, she shouts "Praise the Lord!!!".
The atheist jumps out from behind a bush and says, "Ha, I bought those groceries - there is no God".
The lady looks at him and smiles, she shouts "Praise the Lord, not only did you provide for me Lord, you made Satan pay for the groceries!!"
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#2 )There was a preacher that was trying to sell his horse. A potential buyer came to the church for a test ride.
"Before you start," the preacher said, "you should know that this horse only responds to church talk. Go is Praise the Lord; and stop is Amen."
So the man on the horse says, "Praise the Lord," and the horse starts to trot.
The man again says, "Praise the Lord," and the horse starts to gallop.
Suddenly there is a cliff right in front of the horse and the man yells "Amen!!!"
The horse stops just at the edge of the cliff.
The man wipes the sweat from his brow and says, "Praise the Lord."
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hehe.
The atheist yells back, "There is no God".
She does this every morning with the same result. As time goes on, the lady runs into financial difficulties and has trouble buying food. She goes out onto the porch and asks God for help with groceries, then says "Praise the Lord".
The next morning she goes out onto the porch and there's the groceries she asked for, and of course, she shouts "Praise the Lord!!!".
The atheist jumps out from behind a bush and says, "Ha, I bought those groceries - there is no God".
The lady looks at him and smiles, she shouts "Praise the Lord, not only did you provide for me Lord, you made Satan pay for the groceries!!"
________________________
#2 )There was a preacher that was trying to sell his horse. A potential buyer came to the church for a test ride.
"Before you start," the preacher said, "you should know that this horse only responds to church talk. Go is Praise the Lord; and stop is Amen."
So the man on the horse says, "Praise the Lord," and the horse starts to trot.
The man again says, "Praise the Lord," and the horse starts to gallop.
Suddenly there is a cliff right in front of the horse and the man yells "Amen!!!"
The horse stops just at the edge of the cliff.
The man wipes the sweat from his brow and says, "Praise the Lord."
________________________
hehe.
Praise the Lord! Sheit!
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