THE LATEST VIRUSES
The George Bush Virus
Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.
The Ronald Reagan Virus
Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
The Bill Clinton Virus
Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory.
The Al Gore Virus
Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.
The Bob "Viagra" Dole Virus
Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
The Monica Lewinsky Virus
Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then emails everyone about what it did.
The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus
Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.
The Mike Tyson Virus
Quits after two bytes.
The Oprah Winfrey Virus
Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 150 GB
The Ellen Degeneres Virus
Disks can no longer be inserted.
The Prozac Virus
Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
The Joey Buttafuoco Virus
Only attacks minor files.
The Lorena Bobbitt Virus
Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy...then discards it through Windows.
The George Bush Virus
Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.
The Ronald Reagan Virus
Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
The Bill Clinton Virus
Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory.
The Al Gore Virus
Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.
The Bob "Viagra" Dole Virus
Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
The Monica Lewinsky Virus
Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then emails everyone about what it did.
The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus
Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.
The Mike Tyson Virus
Quits after two bytes.
The Oprah Winfrey Virus
Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 150 GB
The Ellen Degeneres Virus
Disks can no longer be inserted.
The Prozac Virus
Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
The Joey Buttafuoco Virus
Only attacks minor files.
The Lorena Bobbitt Virus
Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy...then discards it through Windows.