Post Your Funny Quotes

[hyebruin]

reading the following quote today reminded me of this forum and the animal references i've read here in the past!!! ....you'll see what i mean

"I would have sex with a horse. Because it's a beautiful animal, and when you have sex with a horse, you know you always have a ride home."

--Dave Attell

[ckBejug]

The status quo sucks. -George Carlin

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.' -George Carlin

When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day? -George Carlin

Who decides when the applause should die down? It seems like it's a group decision; everyone begins to say to themselves at the same time, "Well, okay, that's enough of that." -George Carlin

George Carlin is hilarious!

[Thai-Samurai]

If you guys saw Jon Stewert on CNN's Crossfire. He said many funny things let me remember.
"In a democracy, now I don't really know because I've only lived in this country..."
that one was pretty funny.
"you're just as much a dik on national T.V." to one of the hosts of Crossfire.
other funny stuff was said but i have to go to my friends house now.

[ckBejug]

If you guys saw Jon Stewert on CNN's Crossfire. He said many funny things let me remember.
"In a democracy, now I don't really know because I've only lived in this country..."
that one was pretty funny.
"you're just as much a dik on national T.V." to one of the hosts of Crossfire.
other funny stuff was said but i have to go to my friends house now.

Ohh, ohh one of the things he said that was awesome, he said something to the extent of "I'm not funny now, but tomorrow, on my show I'll be funny, and you'll still be a d!ck"


Here is the transcript of the show. It was hilarious.

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/bljonstewartcrossfire.htm

[xBaron Dants]

Ohh, ohh one of the things he said that was awesome, he said something to the extent of "I'm not funny now, but tomorrow, on my show I'll be funny, and you'll still be a d!ck"


Here is the transcript of the show. It was hilarious.

http://politicalhumor.about.com/libr...tcrossfire.htm

heh, reminds me of one by Churchill.

Lady Astor: Winston, you're drunk!
Churchill: Yes, and you're ugly. But tomorrow, I'll be sober.

[ckBejug]

heh, reminds me of one by Churchill.

Lady Astor: Winston, you're drunk!
Churchill: Yes, and you're ugly. But tomorrow, I'll be sober.

.......... .............

[Genuine_Stud]

Here's my all time favorite.

Hahaha.....

[NarEkoO]

Here's my all time favorite.

Hahaha.....

OH MY GOD THAT IS AMAZING!

[CatWoman]

Here are some silly (funny for some,lol) country song titles... but I still LOVE country music (guilty pleasure is what I call it) :


- Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?

- Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except For Mine

- Her Body Couldn't Keep You Off My Mind. ~~~~~(wow how impressive,lol)

- I Fell for Her, She Fell for Him, and He Fell for Me.

- I Just Bought A Car From The Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run So I Figure We Got An Even Deal.

- I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight.

- I Wish I Were A Woman (So I Could Go Out With A Guy Like Me).

- If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You.

- If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me?

- If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me.

- I'm Havin' Daydreams About Night Things In The Middle Of The Afternoon.

- My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him.

[!EEK]

wow good ones .. are those real country song titles?

My favorite:

- If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You.