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22 Rules for the English Language

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  • 22 Rules for the English Language

    1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
    2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do
    3. The adverb always follows the verb
    4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
    5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
    6. Remember to never split an infinitive.
    7. Contractions aren't necessary.
    8. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos
    9. One should never generalize
    10. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
    11. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous
    12. Be more or less specific
    13. One-word sentences? Eliminate. The passive voice is to be avoided.
    14. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. Who needs rhetorical questions?
    15. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement
    16. Don't never use a double negation
    17. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
    18. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)
    19. Don’t overuse exclamation marks!!!!!!!
    20. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
    21. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
    22. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; they're old hat; seek viable alternatives.

  • #2
    Aww to many rules. I'm sure I am breaking one now.
    You can't hold a man down without staying down with him.

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    • #3
      Haha. I don't know. I just thought it was funny because each rule breaks the rule.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by thedebutante
        Haha. I don't know. I just thought it was funny because each rule breaks the rule.
        Very clever.
        The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald

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        • #5
          i loved it. /////

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          • #6
            Passive voice must be omitted from good writing.

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            • #7
              I think it's a cliche or at least it isn't not a deja vu a la English (from England or over seas) to start with, never break rules is always something irrealist, hypotetical: "I know I don't know" as Socrate more or less said . Thats no jib jab!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! REALLY.





              I tried to breake the most rules I could.
              Last edited by !EEK; 11-25-2004, 09:29 AM.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by !EEK
                I think it's a cliche or at least it isn't not a deja vu a la English (from England or over seas) to start with, never break rules is always something irrealist, hypotetical: "I know I don't know" as Socrate more or less said . Thats no jib jab!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! REALLY.





                I tried to breake the most rules I could.

                You clearly missed the point.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by thedebutante
                  because each rule breaks the rule.
                  I *think I've got the point

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