Turkish jokes

[KarotheGreat]

Sart psoting your Turk Jokes here. If any Turk goes oftopic I'll ask the mods to delete the post. And her's the first joke

Three Turks Esker, Ali and Mehmet have decided to travel to Greece and when they see the first Greek they will hit the crab out of him because Greeks think they are low IQ nation and call them (Donkey=Esheg).
While they were driving toward Athens they see a Greek boy walking cross the road, they think this is the one so they stop him and….
Esker says: hey Greek boy we came all the way from Ankara to kick your ass
Greek boy says: Why, what I have done wrong?
Esker says: You Greeks are calling us esheg so it’s time to get our revenge.
Greek boy says: But do you think it’s fair; you guys are three against of one.
Three Turks they think and after long thinking and argument among themselves finally they came to conclusion and they get back to Greek boy:
Ali says to Greek boy: I think you are right it’s not fair so we decided that I will be in your side and fight with them (Esker and Mehment) and we are going to be a good team and kick (Esker and Mehment) their ass.
Greek boy say: But, you know what I have to go to class, I already late.
Ali after long thinking turns to Greek boy and says:
You know what you go to your class; I will kick their ass by myself alone

her's another one that's really funny

One day a Turk and his camel were walking in a desert when they meet a stranger. Stranger asks: Where are you going with this donkey ?
Turk replies: Are you blind to see this is not a donkey ?
Stranger quickly replies: I am not talking to you, I am talking to camel.

[KarotheGreat]

Re: Turkish jokes

I'm bored and tired so I'll post more jokes

Turk who was carpenter was working with his son, suddenly the electric saw breaks and chops his ear off, after a few minutes searching his son founds an ear and says to his dad, is this your ear?
father looks at the ear and says no, mine had a pencil on it.

other one
One day a Turk was going to kill himself in front of the train. Also had a Piece of bread in his hand. Someone asks: what are you doing? He says: I am going to kill myself. Other asks: Why do you have bread in your hand? He says:If it happens that the train does not come, you want me to starve to death?

and again one this one is really funny

Three Greeks and Three Turks

Three Greeks, Costa, George and Niko as well as three Turks, Melik, Alican and Bora are travelling by train to a conference. At the station, the Turks each buy one ticket and watch as the Greeks buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks Melik. "Watch and you'll see," answers Costa. They all board the train. The Turks take their respective seats but all three Greeks cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The Turks saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Turks decide to copy the Greeks on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Greeks don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says Alican. "Watch and you'll see," answers Niko.

When they board the train the 3 Turks cram into a restroom and the 3 Greeks cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Greeks leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Turks are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."

[KarotheGreat]

Re: Turkish jokes

I've found a very funny one lol

In a train carriage there were a Greek man, a Turkish man, a spectacular looking blonde and a frightfully awful looking fat lady. After several minutes of the trip the train happens to pass through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When they leave the tunnel, the Turkish man had a big red slap mark on his cheek.(1) The blonde thought:- "That Turkish idiot wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who in turn must have slapped his face".(2) The fat lady thought:- "This dirty old Turkish man laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him".(3) The Turkish man thought:- "That stupid Greek man put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me".(4) The Greek man thought:- "I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack that Turko again".

and an other one lol

After the Turkish Parliament voted to disallow American troops in Turkey for an Iraq war, Turkish prime minister Bulent Ecevit phoned President George W Bush:

“I had a dream about the United States” he said.“I could see the whole country, and over every building and home was a banner,” said Ecevit.

“What was on the banner?” asked President Bush.

“Long live Turkish-American friendship” answered the Turkish prime minister.

“I'm so glad you called” said President Bush.“I, too, had a dream. In my dream, I saw Turkey and it was more beautiful than ever; totally rebuilt with many tall, gleaming office buildings, large residential subdivisions with swimming pools in every yard; and over every building and home was a big, beautiful banner.”

“What did the banner say?” asked Mr. Ecevit.

“I don't know,” answered the president,“I can't read Greek.”

so true:
A Greek and a Turki were sitting at a party. Someone told a turkish Joke and the Greek guy got offended. The Greek guy walked up to the Turki and asked him, "Don't you get offended when you hear these Turki jokes." The Turki replied, "for you they are jokes for us they are memories."

[YAFES]

Turkish jokes_Armenian-Turk Anecdote



Kayseri is in Central Anatolia! That city famous with trade, and Erciyes Mountain!(elevation 3916Metres)
One day,one Turk borrow money from his Armenian friend
That Armenian agreed to give money his Turkish friend after he asked "when will you pay my money!" , Turkman said "when Erciyes Mountain's melts,I will give your money! Armenian said 'ok'

After one year,Armenian said "when will you pay my money,give now"
Turk said"Look,Mountain's snow,not melted"

After that diologue,Armenian decided to get revenge for his money from another Turk! He got into debt with another Turk!

After one year ,one summer day,our buddy, wants to get his money from Armenian! He went to his home! "Pay my money,please" Armenian-"Look the mountain,There is too much snow there" Turk said"That snow is this years' snow last year's snow has already melted! Give my money! ....At least,Armenian paid his money.......

[YAFES]

Re: Turkish jokes

One day,Armenian and his Turkish Friend decided to go to forest to camp and make picnic!
when they arrived
Turk says"Look, tht forest scene!Very good and relaxing!"
Armenian says"I can not see the scene! coz a lot of trees!"

[KarotheGreat]

Re: Turkish jokes

look how smart Turks are

Turk doctor is working in the lab. on a frog and he suppose to report the result to his boss, he puts the frog on the table, and hits on the table and says jump, frog jumps, later he cuts one of the frog's leg and hits on the table and says jump,frog jumps again, finally he cuts the frog's other leg and hits on the table and says jump, frog which didn't have any legs couldn't jump, then doctor writes on his report, if we cut both legs of a frog, frog goes deaf.

The father of a turkish family died, so it is the responsibility of the eldist son of the family th bury him. So the son takes his father and tells his family he will be back in a hour. 5 hours passed and the turk came back all brused up and bleeding.
His family asked him "what happend, why are you all brused up and bleeding?
The Turk said he wouldn't stay in the grave"

One day a Turk goes to the city looking for a job. He finds a job with the city paramedics as a driver. On his first day on the job he is dispatched to an emergency call which required him to turn on his red lights and siren.
As he attempts to turn on his red lights, he realized his lights didn't work.
He attempted to turn on his siren, again the siren didn't work either.
So as a last resort, he rolled down his window all the way down.
He stuck his head out and loudley yelled..
GALDEM...GALDEM...GALDEM...GAL
(it means turkish I am comming)...


A Greek, a Azerbijani and a Turk were travelling on a plane, with a bunch of kids. It appeared that there was a problem with the engine and everybody had to jump.
Greek said: we must save the kids!
Azerbijani said: xxxx the kids. Turk said: Do we have time for that?

Lol

[YAFES]

Re: Turkish jokes

Hey,Karo!! that threat is very funny! Thank you

[KarotheGreat]

Re: Turkish jokes

The Queen Elizabeth, Bill Clinton and President Ataturk died and went all to hell. The Queen Elizabeth said: "I miss England. I wanna call England and see how everybody is doing there"....She called and talked for about 5minutes...then she said: "Well, Devil, how much do I owe you???? the Devil goes: Five million dollars...five million dollars!!! she made him a check and went to sit back on her chair....
Bill Clinton was so jealous; He starts screaming: me too; I wanna call the United States; I wanna see how everybody is doing too...He called and talked for about 2 minutes; then he said: well, Devil how much do I owe you???? the Devil goes: ten million dollars.....ten million dollars!!!!!! He made him a check and went to sit back on his chair.....
Ataturk was extremely jealous too...he started screaming and screaming: I wanna call Turkey too, I wanna see how everybody is doing there too, I wanna talk to the pashas,to the Talat pasha and others, I wanna talk to everybody.....He called Ankara Turkey and he talked for about twenty hours. He was talking and talking and talking....then he said: well, Devil how much do I owe you???? the Devil goes: one dollar.....only one dollar!!!!! the Devil goes: well, from hell to hell it's local.

[KarotheGreat]

Re: Turkish jokes

One day,Armenian and his Turkish Friend decided to go to forest to camp and make picnic!
when they arrived
Turk says"Look, tht forest scene!Very good and relaxing!"
Armenian says"I can not see the scene! coz a lot of trees!"

You know what's wrong with this joke no real Armenian would ever be friends with a Turk

[Kanki]

Re: Turkish jokes

The Queen Elizabeth, Bill Clinton and President Ataturk died and went all to hell. The Queen Elizabeth said: "I miss England. I wanna call England and see how everybody is doing there"....She called and talked for about 5minutes...then she said: "Well, Devil, how much do I owe you???? the Devil goes: Five million dollars...five million dollars!!! she made him a check and went to sit back on her chair....
Bill Clinton was so jealous; He starts screaming: me too; I wanna call the United States; I wanna see how everybody is doing too...He called and talked for about 2 minutes; then he said: well, Devil how much do I owe you???? the Devil goes: ten million dollars.....ten million dollars!!!!!! He made him a check and went to sit back on his chair.....
Ataturk was extremely jealous too...he started screaming and screaming: I wanna call Turkey too, I wanna see how everybody is doing there too, I wanna talk to the pashas,to the Talat pasha and others, I wanna talk to everybody.....He called Ankara Turkey and he talked for about twenty hours. He was talking and talking and talking....then he said: well, Devil how much do I owe you???? the Devil goes: one dollar.....only one dollar!!!!! the Devil goes: well, from hell to hell it's local.

Very stupidly! ! ! All Armenians not believe last prophet! So God will post to hell you! But Ataturk believed All the prophets and last one too! So you can not decide his condition!