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My Marriage and family....

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  • #1

    My Marriage and family....

    Hi There, I am a 100% Armenian woman and married my husband who is half Armenian and half Spaniard (yes I HATE that!). We dated for almost two years before I found out his mom was an odar. I know how could I not know, he looks Armenian, readsm writes, speaks, and has a close relationship with his Armenian church and friends. Now I found out when I first met his parents and was stunned because his mother speaks clear Armenian. When I found out I was completely thrown off and broke up with him because I am not trying to wipe my ethnicity out but make it stronger. So here goes......he is a wonderful guy and really sweet. We got back together and got married a while back. His father passed and there went the heavy Armenian culture. His mother speaks Armenian with me only and I asked him and her why they married an Armenian? My husband dislikes the fact that his dad did this but whats done is done. Now I feel the guilt because I am the only that has to make the culture evident and stronger. My parents were all shocked since I am family oriented and love being Armenian and surrounded by Armenians that I went this route. I am really contemplating what I have done and whether I want to stay. So my question is this....can we continue as an Armenian family or I am foolish to think this will be in the future when we have kids?
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: My Marriage and family....

    I can't tell if this is a joke thread or real.

    What route did you take that your parents are so shocked about?
    Մեկ Ազգ, Մեկ Մշակույթ
    ---
    "Western Assimilation is the greatest threat to the Armenian nation since the Armenian Genocide."

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: My Marriage and family....

      No this isn't a joke, I just question my decision. I guess I am just "homesick" in a way because I am used to being surrounded by my big family thats always gathering and noisy and funny and then I have his side that is both ethnicities. I don't know I guess this was just a thread to vent but I fear that once we have kids his mom will start reverting back to her roots and reflect that upon my kids. I mean it is hard because his family is all from Armenia but his dad took a different route. Yes she forwent her culture for his but will this bite me in my butt later on or am I over thinking things?

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      • #4
        Re: My Marriage and family....

        If the guy loves you and you love him then i doubt you would be asking this question. Perhaps you have deeper issues then you think. He is half Armenian but he has embraced his Armenians side thus i don't see how this is an issue.
        Hayastan or Bust.

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        • #5
          Re: My Marriage and family....

          I don't understand the problem here ... is he or his mom telling you to be less Armenian? Do you think they will try to force some ways on your future kids that you might not like? I am trying to understand are you only concerned that somehow by blood your kids will not be "pure" (whatever the heck that means) or you somehow feel you won't be able to raise them as the kinds of Armenian kids you want?

          But other than that, you are who you are and I doubt they can change you so I don't see a problem there as long as your "self" is concerned.
          this post = teh win.

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          • #6
            Re: My Marriage and family....

            The guy seems pretty Armenian if you ask me. He's much more Armenian than some of the 100% Armenians that don't speak the language, are not connected with Armenian issues/community, and generally don't care. I really don't see the problem here at all. I bet if he didn't tell you his mother wasn't Armenian, you would have never guessed. Just comes to show.
            Մեկ Ազգ, Մեկ Մշակույթ
            ---
            "Western Assimilation is the greatest threat to the Armenian nation since the Armenian Genocide."

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: My Marriage and family....

              I guess I am worried that they will not be "pure" and I feel like I can't really speak about marrying within the Armenian culture because of their father. I also miss the family environment I guess it is like feeling "homesick". I know this may sound silly to you all but I was looking for some feedback and you all helped. I just miss that warm family environment, true we get it from my side but his side is well never mind because their all a little off (the odors and the armenians). Thank you everyone for taking the time to respond. And yes i am worried that his side may not uphold what they have adapted when their grandkids come in the picture but I guess that is all up to us.

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              • #8
                Re: My Marriage and family....

                I feel horrible for feeling this way but you are right if they never told me I would never have guessed. They speak Armenian better and know the culture better than most Armenian friends I grew up with.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: My Marriage and family....

                  Originally posted by Worlb2 View Post
                  I guess I am worried that they will not be "pure" and I feel like I can't really speak about marrying within the Armenian culture because of their father. I also miss the family environment I guess it is like feeling "homesick". I know this may sound silly to you all but I was looking for some feedback and you all helped. I just miss that warm family environment, true we get it from my side but his side is well never mind because their all a little off (the odors and the armenians). Thank you everyone for taking the time to respond. And yes i am worried that his side may not uphold what they have adapted when their grandkids come in the picture but I guess that is all up to us.
                  Honestly, please study some genetics before talking about "pure" Armenians. For example, Armenians from Sasoun have considerably Turkish admixture, while Armenians from Karabakh have a different genetic composition. There's considerable genetic overlap between Armenians, Turks, Azeris, and Kurds to an extent. Like it or not. So really "genetic purity" is a silly and outdated concept, because in the end all ethnicities are mixed, especially among neighbouring ethnicities, there's no such thing as "purity" from a scientific perspective. What matters more than all is cultural identity and allegiance. If your husband grew up as an Armenian with Armenian values, considers himself Armenian, and so forth, that's all it matters. Humans are one of the most homogeneous species out there, what separates us is not very minor differences in genes, but culture. Or else, we should be brothers with the Turks now because our genetics is very similar to their's, not to mention the many Hidden Armenians among them.


                  If he never told you about his mother being not armenian, and you never met his mother, then you'd live your rest of the life thinking he's "genetically 100% Armenian". So that should mean something.
                  Last edited by Mos; 06-25-2012, 09:00 PM.
                  Մեկ Ազգ, Մեկ Մշակույթ
                  ---
                  "Western Assimilation is the greatest threat to the Armenian nation since the Armenian Genocide."

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: My Marriage and family....

                    "Humans are one of the most homogeneous species out there, what separates us is not very minor differences in genes, but culture. "
                    Mos i am impressed and elated that you think this way and i wish some of the others in this forum would understand this to. World2 you have to understand that when you marry you are creating a new family and it will be different then the one you grew up in. Different does not mean bad unless you or your husbend make it bad-it realy is up to the two of you how the marriage will go and the less meddling from both your parents the better off you will be as a couple.
                    Hayastan or Bust.

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