Worth it

[dusken]

Originally posted by spiral I disagree. She is not putting forth strict guidelines. Nor is she implying that she is in any way superior to him.

She doesn’t ask for specific traits, and/or qualities in the person. She merely wants someone who is as driven as herself. Someone who will be able to walk with her. She does not want her hands held up as she walks, nor does she want to hold his hands up as he walks.

I said she was arrogant. I did not say she felt superior to any one person.

She shows the desire to make lists of qualities because she turned something meaningless into an "objective" list. I may say that if she worded it differently, I would not think she was as much of a freak but still making frivolous statements. Nobody says "I am looking for a stupid couch potato."

[Hogg]

I think she just wants her hair pulled and her ass smacked.

But honestly, I don't see those "requirements" being too hard to find. I think I'd qualify actually. Now what the hell is she bringing to the table other than being financially independent?

[loseyourname]

As a good narcissist, all I want a woman to bring is a love of herself that equals my own self-love. These other things I could care less about, because the true narcissist cannot be held back by another, nor can his lot be enhanced in any significant way. A relationship, as dusken points out, is not a business transaction. A relationship is a mutualistic symbiosis that grows and evolves as it transpires. That woman is looking for a man who basically possesses all of the traits that she possesses. That is idiotic. Personally, I would like someone who can add to what I already have, someone who can challenge me by not being me, but by still being admirable and still loving herself. Even that, however, is not all that important, for again, the true narcissist can find those things without the aid of a lover. There are many people and non-people in the world that can provide the things this woman is asking for. All that must be asked for in a relationship is love, nothing more, nothing less. Unfortunately, love implies acceptance, and this woman is not particularly accepting, and my guess is she is not very loving. My guess is that it would be very difficult to love her in return. dusken says that he wants a woman who will make him happy. Even this is too much. I am already happy. All I ask is that a woman be happy herself, so that she will not detract from my own pre-existing happiness and perhaps our happiness and our love for ourselves can be amplified by our being together.

No lists.

[ckBejug]

I am glad that post brought forth some conversation.

Originally posted by spiral I disagree. She is not putting forth strict guidelines. Nor is she implying that she is in any way superior to him.

She doesn’t ask for specific traits, and/or qualities in the person. She merely wants someone who is as driven as herself. Someone who will be able to walk with her. She does not want her hands held up as she walks, nor does she want to hold his hands up as he walks.

I agree with you Spiral.

I don't agree with what the woman is saying 100% because to turn love into a formula like that never ever works. I've fallen in love before with someone who never would have fit such a bill. You can't just decide and, like Dusken said, list the traits that you want. But I do agree with her and Spiral, that someone with drive, someone who is not going to just give up or not even try, but instead push the envelope and make a path for himself, that's the kind of guy I'd look for. It's not that I would discount anyone who wasn't like that, I just know that this is a trait that I would be attracted to. So, again, don't take the whole of what she is saying as a guideline, list, or any strict requirement. Look at the bigger picture...

Originally posted by fIReBuRntInHeLL Ck girls like you aren't going to stay alone, trust me!!!!! a smart experienced guy will find something in you that he never found in others. u dont need to list and become picky! Go with the flowwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Don't worry Fire dear, I'm not want of any guy, that little snippet of a conversation I posted was not something I wrote, nor do I list what attributes I look for, or fear being alone... To the contrary, as some people very well know, I'm good at going with the flowwwwwwwwww as you suggest I think before being happy with someone it's very important to be happy and content with life alone, and I'm doing that I guess... I know exactly what I am and what I deserve and just hope to get even better than that, whenever that may be

Originally posted by loseyourname As a good narcissist, all I want a woman to bring is a love of herself that equals my own self-love.

Is this possible? How could you be attracted to someone who loves herself SO much?

[dusken]

I am as bothered as ck is about the whole self-love thing. If someone loves herself so much I would never know whether she loves me as much as herself. I want some one who views me as an equal or even puts me on a pedestal of a sort, whether I deserve to be above her or not, because I would do the same. And if it does happen the she loves herself more than me, she will not be as willing to sacrifice as I will be. I would die for my love.

[loseyourname]

That's all good, my brother. Nonetheless, I can't in good faith ask someone to love me enough to the point where she would die for me, simply because there's no way I would love her that much. I must be fair.

[Crimson Glow]

Originally posted by ckBejug I do agree with her and Spiral, that someone with drive, someone who is not going to just give up or not even try, but instead push the envelope and make a path for himself, that's the kind of guy I'd look for.

Ahhhhhh...but there in lies the proble, Bejug bejan. That may be what you're looking for, but that is NOT what this woman is looking for. I think you should look at her statements a bit more closely, as you've suggested I haven't. This woman is basically looking for a finely molded puppet. She is looking for everything we've been taught is "success". Someone striving for perfection financially, spiritually, and mentally? Someone she can respect? Hmmmm...her standards for perfection and respect sound an awful lot like the status quo set by society. So to her, the ideal mate is one who has conformed just as badly as she has. Whether she realizes it or not, she is actually looking for a very "simple-minded" man. Only a helpless fool doesn't question his surroundings and doesn't probe the possibilities. And who says she's "worth it"? How do we know that until we've met this person and seen her approach to life? That's what I meant by women being very picky without looking at themselves to see if they're in a position to make such demands in who they're looking for.

I live by a much more simple guidline: You shouldn't be "looking", period!

[spookyghost]

ditto that dikran, people are basically looking for what they are in others, or something better or (more brainwashed and molded) then they are lollll

god dikran your so foxy *gives him the bedroom eyed look*

[sleuth]

Originally posted by dusken Woman: So what are you looking for in a woman, Armel?

Armel: I am looking for someone that makes me happy.

Woman: Yes but what will make you happy?

Armel: We'll see.

Man: So what are you looking for in a man,AN?
An: I am looking for someone that makes me happy.

Man: yes but what will make you happy?

An: Someone that will make enough space to be myself.

[Sip]

I don't like the woman because she is looking for a loser ...

Perfection cannot be achieved. Anyone who is striving for perfection will end up being a loser. A woman looking for someone striving for perfection is basically nothing more than someone looking desperately to find that loser.