Ode to the Nice Guys

[Hogg]

Well damn..if you didn't want to...you didn't have to...SHEESH! I don't need your PROPS!!!

I didn't mean to make it sound like I was reluctant to give you the much-desired props.

[patlajan]

I didn't mean to make it sound like I was reluctant to give you the much-desired props.

The proper term is kudos. Use it if you want to avoid puns in the future.

[bigmak]

alright, i hope i don't get flamed here... please don't be too mean too me...

i'm a 17 year old senior in high school, and i think that i meet the criteria for a 'nice guy'. i saw the article i couple weeks ago, and i think it fits me well. before any of you try and say 'oh, you only think you're a nice guy cuz the jerk gets the girl', go away. i'm not going to listen to you.

anyways.

i'm the kind of guy that looks out for his friends. i'd rather have one friend happy than myself being happy. i'll put myself in situations i would rather not be in order to help people out. that is who i am. i'm not some wuss physically--i'm 6' tall and 180 pounds. but people do push me around mentally at times.

i met a girl last september, and i became good friends with her. i fell for her in december, but i was too slow in asking her out (read: my confidence can be lacking at times). so, of course, i lost her to a guy who acts nice, but is actually a jerk behind her back.

today, i finally gave up on her. i finally realized that all i'm just going to be friends with her. that things will never progress as far as i hoped they would. she loves me as a friend, and that's all. it really angers me that i put so much time into her, so much effort into making her life better, and then she simply turns her back to me. i finally realized i was acting like a complete idiot the whole time.

to any girls out there who are looking for nice guys, we are here and we are looking for you too. life is sh*tty right now, but i'll get over it. i'll move on. i'll open my eyes and i'll realize there are people out there that are better for me. it's just a matter of time until i meet them.

oh, by the way. i completely pissed off her boyfriend today . it was lots of fun now that i know i'm just friends with her.

there is lots of good advice in this thread (except for some things said by anonymouse... but i won't go off on a tangent).

thanks.

[sSsflamesSs]

alright, i hope i don't get flamed here... please don't be too mean too me...

i'm a 17 year old senior in high school, and i think that i meet the criteria for a 'nice guy'. i saw the article i couple weeks ago, and i think it fits me well. before any of you try and say 'oh, you only think you're a nice guy cuz the jerk gets the girl', go away. i'm not going to listen to you.

anyways.

i'm the kind of guy that looks out for his friends. i'd rather have one friend happy than myself being happy. i'll put myself in situations i would rather not be in order to help people out. that is who i am. i'm not some wuss physically--i'm 6' tall and 180 pounds. but people do push me around mentally at times.

i met a girl last september, and i became good friends with her. i fell for her in december, but i was too slow in asking her out (read: my confidence can be lacking at times). so, of course, i lost her to a guy who acts nice, but is actually a jerk behind her back.

today, i finally gave up on her. i finally realized that all i'm just going to be friends with her. that things will never progress as far as i hoped they would. she loves me as a friend, and that's all. it really angers me that i put so much time into her, so much effort into making her life better, and then she simply turns her back to me. i finally realized i was acting like a complete idiot the whole time.

to any girls out there who are looking for nice guys, we are here and we are looking for you too. life is sh*tty right now, but i'll get over it. i'll move on. i'll open my eyes and i'll realize there are people out there that are better for me. it's just a matter of time until i meet them.

oh, by the way. i completely pissed off her boyfriend today . it was lots of fun now that i know i'm just friends with her.

there is lots of good advice in this thread (except for some things said by anonymouse... but i won't go off on a tangent).

thanks.

Why would anyone, in their right mind, flame you for posting that? And don't forget, my nickname speaks for itself.

But seriously, I thought that was a very genuine post. And dude, you're only 17 (hint: too young). Don't worry, if you're as great of a guy as your post hints at, it's only a matter of time before a girl comes along and appreciates you for who you are. Just be a little more aggressive next time - ask her out.

On a side note, I just realized something. Of course, I'm just basing everything on your single post, but here it goes. Even in your post, in the very first line, it's like you're appologizing for posting. WHY?!?! Don't be a pushover. Be more sure of yourself, being assertive. People are cruel, and jump on those weaker than them to make themselves feel better. So just be more confident.

Ok I'm done with my wannabe advice.

[bigmak]

On a side note, I just realized something. Of course, I'm just basing everything on your single post, but here it goes. Even in your post, in the very first line, it's like you're appologizing for posting. WHY?!?! Don't be a pushover. Be more sure of yourself, being assertive. People are cruel, and jump on those weaker than them to make themselves feel better. So just be more confident.

Ok I'm done with my wannabe advice.

yeah i am young, and yeah i need to work on my confidence. in hind sight, my opening line was pretty weak, but eh, better to have written something honest than to completely make something up.

i've got lots of time to figure life out, so i shouldn't be worrying too much...

thanks for the advice,
-michael

[SagGal]

Hey Bigmak. Can I have fries with that nice guy attitude of yours? Couldn't help myself. Just had to say that.
Flamed? People at this forum are anything but mean? RIGHT? lol.

See everyone, nice guys are just shy. They are not whipped or losers.

...it really angers me that i put so much time into her, so much effort into making her life better, and then she simply turns her back to me. i finally realized i was acting like a complete idiot the whole time.

So were you being good to her to get something in return? Now that's not good if you said that you're the kind of guy who looks out for your freinds. As a good friend, you can just make sure her jerk of a boyfriend doesn't hurt her.

...my opening line was pretty weak, but eh, better to have written something honest than to completely make something up.

Good answer.


P.S. Welcome to the forum Michael

[bigmak]

So were you being good to her to get something in return? Now that's not good if you said that you're the kind of guy who looks out for your freinds. As a good friend, you can just make sure her jerk of a boyfriend doesn't hurt her.

what i meant was that i hoped that all my actions would have some end result, some conclusion, other than me backing down. the whole story is very complicated... i was interviewed by the washington post about it (they saw me post part of the story in another forum) and even the reporter (libby copeland i think was her name) got lost at times as i retold the events of the past year...

thanks again,
-michael

[loseyourname]

The Washington Post interviewed you about your love life? That's the funniest thing I've heard in a long time.

[anileve]

Well what do you know......http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp...2952-2004Apr18

Hey Matt Brochu, I thought your name was Michael and you were 17, as far as the article is concerned you are supposed to be 21. So where do your lies begin or end?

[bigmak]

Well what do you know......http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp...2952-2004Apr18

Hey Matt Brochu, I thought your name was Michael and you were 17, as far as the article is concerned you are supposed to be 21. So where do your lies begin or end?

from the article:
"I can't date you, Jason/Bobby/Steven/Mike. I value our friendship too much."

libby ended up not putting me in the article. here is a copy of the email she sent me:

Hi, Michael. I am writing a story about a column written by a student named
Matt Brochu in the University of Massachussetts paper, The Daily Collegian,
back in November. It was called "What she doesn't know will kill you" and
it was about falling deeply in love (or infatuation) with someone and how
that feels. It ended with the suggestion that anyone feeling that way
should seize the day and tell the object of their affection.
The column got a huge response from people across the country, and your
posting was one that caught my eye because it sounded like you were in a
similar situation. I am writing about why this column resonated so much
with people, and I was curious about your story, if you're willing to
share. I wondered what circumstances caused you to relate to Matt's column.
I also wonder whether you wound up taking his advice and telling the girl
that you liked her. If so, I'd love to know how that worked out. If not,
I'd love to know why.
Would you email me back and let me know a little about this?
Thanks,

Libby Copeland
Washington Post Staff Writer
Style section (features)
202.334.7280 p
202.334.5587 f
[email protected]

i wasn't lying... and yeah, it was pretty funny that she contacted me. if you go to the original site of the article from the massachusetts daily collegian, there were about 500 replies to it (and mine was one of them... good luck finding it). she noticed i live in the dc area (i live 15 minutes away in virginia) and decided to contact me.