Dating your friend's crush??

[Inna]

Is it okay to date someone that your friend has a crush on?? The friend doesnt necessarily have to be a close friend, but someone you know and trust. And the crush situation is just that..only a crush..nothing had ever occurred between the friend and the crush. Does the friend have a right to be mad at you or are you at fault for dating someone that you know your friend is interested in?

[HyeJinx1984]

I've done it. It sucks. Causes problems on both sides. Don't do it. Not worth it.

[anileve]

I think it's just fine. If your friend is a reasonable person and sees that you are happy and obviously her crush has not interest inher she will understand. It's simply ridiculous to take such matters seriously, if the match is formed then one should rejoice in its possible success, there is plenty of meat for everyone no need to be greedy.

[hyebruin]

you gotta ask yourself what is more important to you?

getting with the hot guy/girl where you don't even know if he/she will be the one OR sparing your friend's feelings who you care about and not causing any pain and heartache....guys come and go and are dime a dozen! but TRUE friends are worth hanging onto and once the dynamics of the friendship change there is no going back once you cross that line and disappoint your friend!!

friends are extended family! and should be treasured as they are gifts from God! i love mine

[anileve]

bruin jan, you know that you are talking kaka. Friends also come and go and so does your family. The only thing that is for certain is death. So constantly living your life in fear of losing something or according to what others want or how they feel you will miss out on your own life. It's too short to begin with.

[SagGal]

Is it okay to date someone that your friend has a crush on?? The friend doesnt necessarily have to be a close friend, but someone you know and trust. And the crush situation is just that..only a crush..nothing had ever occurred between the friend and the crush. Does the friend have a right to be mad at you or are you at fault for dating someone that you know your friend is interested in?

I say that it depends on the friend. If it's not a very close friend then it doesn't matter as much as a close friend. However it would still be rude to date someone who is your "friend's" crush.

You shouldn't because it will her your close friend's feelings but if you really want to and see that it is a crush that isn't going away, there are things you can do. For one, you can talk to your friend about it. Saying something like, "You know he/she appraoched me and asked me out, but I didn't agree because you like him/her also. Will you have a problem with me dating him/her?" Your close friend might be OK because if nothing is going to happen between him/her and their crush, then why shouldn't you date the person? I know I know, it might hurt the friend's feelings but not if you come to your friend first and talk to them instead of just jumping at the opportunity.

I think for both scenarios (close friend or not) the talk is fine with the same approach.

If this, "You know he/she appraoched me and asked me out..." is not true, then both of you (you and your friend) can adore this hell of a cutie.

[angelik22]

i personally wuold never do that to any of my cloe friends if i knew she really liked the guy... depending on what you mean as a "crush"

ive had my best friend do that to me... well not really dating the guy-- but she knew i was head over heels over this one guy back in high school...and we both knew the guy liked me- buit noth me and the "guy" were too "insert a word" lol to do anything about it...so she would ALWAYS flirt with him and start getting all touchy with him and stuff... it totally made me mad... but afterall she was still my best friend no matter what... and the guy was just a guy... and it was a stupid crush... neither of us ended up with him- so wasnt a big deal

[hyebruin]

well, there's plenty of handsome fish in the sea and knowingly going after a guy a friend is interested in is the classical definiton of 'b*tchy'...

it does take some discipline to 'give up' a guy in that sense, but if you have it going on for yourself and look good and are confident, then it's not a loss! but an opportunity to meet someone who's right for you

[anileve]

Ok, the morality is streaming here. I've gone out with a guy my friend had a slight crush on. I gently let her know that we were both interested in one another, she understood. It turned into an engagement relationship. I am still friends with the girl who had a crush. You must use your common sense when it comes to sacrificing something for someone, at times it's the right thing to do and at other times you kick yourself in the arse for being "ethical".

[hyebruin]

hey, if it's meant to be it will happen! no one is 'sacrificing' anything...but when i KNOW a friend is interested in a guy that guy automatically becomes off limits to me... it's that simple...