NON-Armenian girls

[patlajan]

Armo chicks are generally a pain in the ass but that's no reason to be dating africans

[Mags]

Does your girlfriend do crack?

[sad_eyes]

Werent you in a relationship with an Armenian guy? Or is that like ancient history and Im just behind? lol

I, for one, am sure that it is very possible for an Armenian and Otar to have a successful marriage. I simply dislike the idea, and dont want it in my own life.

No we are still together, and still very much in love. We have just come to the realization that we cannot be together forever, so to speak. It hurts us both but I guess in a way I do understand. I am a little angry at him for it, but its mostly because I am hurt. He said something to me the other night that really made me think about our relationship and what it isnt only doing for me, but for him as well. He told me he wish he wasnt born armenian. He meant it so he didnt have the responsibilities of marrying an armenian woman. He is traditional and his father is very much so. I felt very sorry for him then. I cant explain why, there arent words for it but I just realized that although I love him tremendously and very much want to be his wife and the mother of his children, it would mean he would displease his father. I take pride IN HIM for being armenian. Its such a wonderful culture, I cannot see why he would wish for him to be otherwise. I am proud of who he is and where he comes from. I very much respect his father and I dont want to cause any trouble in his household neither. His mother, before she died wanted him to marry a certain girl, and he may have to do so. Its very complicated. I would like to marry him and him me, but its just not possible. The only problem left is that we are too in love to say goodbye to each other now. Lol, relationships are such a pain in the ass, but I wouldent miss any of it. I choose to be hurt in the end then to not be with him now, the feeling is mutual with him too. It is by far the most seriouse and longest relationship we both have ever had (almost 2 years now). We both learned alot. I really value it.


Crimson, I do take pride in my own culture (german, french albanian ) but seeing how the only men I have ever been with are armenians and the only people I know and associate with are armenians, theyre culture rubs off on me. I dont deny that I wanted to learn about your culture, I did and still do. I have learned so much already and want to learn more. Its fasinating really. In an interracial relationship it is bound to happen. And every armenian I meet now say that I make a pretty convincable armenian girl, minus a few details about myself of course, I AM canadian after all.


Bottom line is this. I feel that a relationship with an armenian and an otar can work out. They can get married. Some choose to do so, others dont. I respect both. Regardless of my situation.

[ArmoBarbi]

Wow

As much as I support this attitude of being traditional, I must say - I hope you guys stay together. Finding a real person who is right for you is so special. Nothing should come between people who truelly love each other.

I respect your respect and understanding of his family. I wont give you unwanted advice. Best of luck to you both.

[sad_eyes]

thank you, ArmoBarbi

[Crimson Glow]

Crimson, I do take pride in my own culture (german, french albanian ) but seeing how the only men I have ever been with are armenians and the only people I know and associate with are armenians, theyre culture rubs off on me. I dont deny that I wanted to learn about your culture, I did and still do. I have learned so much already and want to learn more. Its fasinating really. In an interracial relationship it is bound to happen. And every armenian I meet now say that I make a pretty convincable armenian girl, minus a few details about myself of course, I AM canadian after all.

I wasn't referring to you, sad. In America, the amount of white, mainstream citizens that know anything about their backgrounds are few and far between. Now, perhaps with most of the members here being from south Cali, it is hard to understand this. There are plenty of minorities, and it is multifaceted in cultures. But when you start moving further and further away from major cities (LA, Chicago, NY, etc), the ambiance of the towns shift quickly away from a mix of flavors, to white yuppies, honkys, or rednecks. They may say they're German, Irish, Polish, etc, but it basically means nothing. They don't know the language, the culture, the customs, traditions, holidays, they know NOTHING. They ARE nothing! Basically empty vessels absorbing whatever trendy pop culture has to sell them this month. So when someone comes along that does have an ethnicity and is vehement about it, they're thrilled to fill their empty selves up with the richness of that person.

By the way.....do Canadian Armenians add an "eh" at the end of their sentences? "Inch bes es, eh?"

[winoman]

This has nothing to do with our career or anything of the sort. Its about how we run our household and raise our children. I dont think that anyone here is looking for a haven from the rest of the world. We are as good at adapting while preserving our identity as our ancestors.

I am getting an American education ( ), and plan to work in English. I am, however, going to learn Armenian and marry a man who speaks it. My children will be encouraged to have any profession they want, but they WILL learn Armenian language, traditions, and history, and they WILL continue the tradition with their own families.

fair enough...and well said - bravo!

[winoman]

sad eyes - I feel sorry for you...for having such a wimp of a b/f...I mean he has one life to live - you cannot live it for others (even if one is an Armenian) - even and especially not for your family - let them live their own lives... (and believe me - I too have made this mistake before in my youth - at least in part - and learned to regret it). If your love is true...then I hope ehe comes to this realization sooner rather then later...good luck.

[CatWoman]

loseyourname - I entirely agree with your comments on this thread...and Sadeyes - I thought you were a non-Armenian who was dating an Armenian...if this is true then maybe your comments should not be taken on face value alone eh?

And let me digress just a bit....OK - so we are all (or most of us are) "Armenians"...most of us also live in what - the United States of America (that was America...not Armenia)....OK - so think about this one a bit...yes - you might perserve some (maybe much?) aspects of the culture...but what are you going to do - only work for Armenians/Armenian companies that do traditional Armenain crafts and such? - only interact with Armenians? etc etc - I would say - No - you are not going to do these things...thus - you will assimilate (for the most part) - as every other group does/has - you, or your children or theirs - its inevitable...so deal with it...even if you make the "Armenians only" choice - can/will you be able to force your children to do such - etc....)and what then when they don't - do you cut off all ties from them? From your future non-Armenian in-laws? - etc etc ...if you really feel so strongly - then I suggest you go to live in Armenia post-haste...as every moment you continue here furthers your "corruption" - really I mean this...but I will also warn you - don't think that even (life in) Armenia itself is standing still - that it is a haven agaisnt outside influence and change and that you will not encounter non-Armenians and non-(traditional) Armenian ways...time does not stand still - ever - and in fact - it is flowing faster then ever - so perhaps you should consider the history of Armenia and understand what Armenians have always done to survive...

Just because we want to marry an Armenian doesn't mean we're going to work for Armenian companies doing 'traditional Armenian craft'. lol, WHAT? Mr Wino, Armenians lived in Iran, Lebanon, Iraq, etc. for centuries and never assimilated. Why is the US gonna be any different? And no, they didn't only do business with Armenians. In Iran, most of the well known corporation and factory owners are Armenian and persians are employed by them. We're pretty talented believe it or not, we don't just do 'traditional Armenian crafts'. Oh and Jews fit your above description just fine as far as doing business amongst themselves, marrying within the race, etc. and look, they've taken over America!

Also, I'm sure my children would want to learn Armenian themselves, I wouln't need to force anything on them. It all depends on the parents and how much they value being Armenian. Kids who grow up with such parents are likely to do the same.

Oh and about moving to Armenia... I've thought about it actually, who knows, I just might! And what's wrong with that?

[winoman]

Catwoman - if you or others want to marry Armenian and raise your kids with the language and culture then i say more power to you - that is fine and is your choice and I can understand it completly. But do not think that even doing such that you will not assimilate or that you can know at all what your kids may like or not like to do etc. And this isn't Iran, Lebanon or Iraq - it is the USA - the great melting pot....and the pervasiveness of modern media, the mobil society and so many other factors make it completley different then any past experiences Armenians have ever had. Can aspects of the culture and value be maintained - I think so - but ultimatly - for the vast majority - assimilation will be survival and will be the means to prosperity - and Armenians have always known how to make this choice.

Now I have listend to your words and that of ArmoBarbi and I understand where you are comming from...you should do the same a bit with me - I may understand a few things myself you know...