does age matter?

[Siamanto]

Re: does age matter?

I'm just curious does a long lasting relationship automatically lead to marriage?...
personally I don't need a white dress and a ring to state to the world that I want to be with a person.
I find that it's looked down upon if a couple don't get married.

I plan on marrying, if only to celebrate it with my friends and loved ones. The image of my mom sitting and having tears of happiness has played before my eyes many times. What I'm against is throwing huge, extravagant parties.

Marriage is just a symbolic thing. People don't need marriage to be together for a long time. It just represents the union of two people until they die...think that it would be nice if your partner took those vows and was serious about them.

It seems that there is no common understanding of what "marriage" means and that is probably contributing to some of the "confusion."
- Marriage is opposed to long lasting relationship
- Marriage is described as the wedding ritual
- Marriage is considered as an institution
- Marriage is confused with wedding (Again)
- Marriage is described as a celebration
- Marriage is described as the officialization of a life long relationship

I think that it would be nice if your partner took those vows and was serious about them.

Yes, it would be nice that the vows are made and taken seriously; but does making it public and official a necessary or sufficient condition that they are taken seriously?

[Siamanto]

Re: does age matter?

Whether there should be a wedding to celebrate a marriage and whether a relationship should evolve into a marriage are "personal" choices - involving all the parties;

I just wanted to add that personal choices should not be considered as universal and imposed on all members of a community.

[Siamanto]

Re: does age matter?

P.S. and also "Nothing left to gain after gaining you" hehe sounds nice))

Yes it does.

[Siamanto]

Re: does age matter?

It depends on how do you define ''maturity''.

Is the intent of your message to make sure that everyone clearly sees that you are not the perceptive one????

[Siamanto]

Re: does age matter?

I plan on marrying, if only to celebrate it with my friends and loved ones. The image of my mom sitting and having tears of happiness has played before my eyes many times. What I'm against is throwing huge, extravagant parties. That's showing off. I agree though that no-one has to do something just because the society expects that of them, but then not every one thinks (or dreams) of marrying just because of those types of pressures. It is a long, ancient institution and a ceremony, and naturally a part of our nurture, if not nature.

First of all, I would distinguish between marriage and wedding.
Whether there should be a wedding to celebrate a marriage and whether a relationship should evolve into a marriage are "personal" choices - involving all the parties;if you think that it will make a difference then it matters to you and you should get married and have a wedding.

As far as, the age question. Age differences by themselves are meaningless. It is what is behind, what is implied, by those age differences. Does the age difference in this special case imply vastly different expectation, priorities, etc. Does it affect the question of if and how many children to have together. Does it imply a vastly different places in respective career paths? I'm sure I'm repeating what's been already said in the thread, I'm just too lazy to check for that.

I think that you're in agreement with was already said and you're not repeating; you're being a bit more detailed and adding flesh to it.

[sev_zeytun]

Re: does age matter?

If you care for one another and you see a future together then age shouldn't matter. Of course society has it's opinions but I would hope you'd be wise enough to hold your own.

By the way, I'm just curious does a long lasting relationship automatically lead to marriage? I know this is going off topic a bit but personally I don't need a white dress and a ring to state to the world that I want to be with a person. I find that it's looked down upon if a couple don't get married.

Marriage is just a symbolic thing. People don't need marriage to be together for a long time. It just represents the union of two people until they die (not so much in the US though ---- divorce central ). I think that it would be nice if your partner took those vows and was serious about them. Don't you think so?

[sev_zeytun]

Re: does age matter?

It pises me off when I see women dating older men just because they have money or because they are supposedly ''mature''.

Its so cool when you beat the xxxx out of their ''mature'' mates.

People like Anna Nicole Smith are dirty and disgusting people but what you said was just disturbing.

[Sip]

Re: does age matter?

To clarify what I have said is about the question which asked for the case when the difference is 4-5 years. I said it's ok if they are both over 20. More age difference is another issue ... there is something kind of disturbing with a 30 year or more age difference

[Lucin]

Re: does age matter?

Everybody here says if they care for one another, if there is love there, iffff… age doesn’t matter, but I don’t understand, do you guys totally ignore the age factor or there are some limits for you nonetheless? I can't imagine how a woman, let’s say in her early twenties can be really attracted to or in love with someone 30 years her senior (unless there are some other interests playing a major role or he is a Donald Trump! )? or vice versa, men dating much older women...

[Stefy]

Re: does age matter?

Stefy,
The only "problem" - just kidding - is that, maybe, you did not understand my post as it was meant. To repeat myself in a more "straightforward" manner, I'll say:
If you think that you can - and are willing to - build something together, give each other and add to each other's life then it's worth trying because:
1- Many factors determine the success of a relationship and age may not be the - or a - relevant one when all considered together
2- What is the worse that can happen and would the worse be avoided with someone with a "matching age?"

I hope that it is clearer now.



P.S. I would have been even more "extreme" and said " Nothing left to gain after losing you..." instead of " Nothing left to lose after losing you..."

It was clear even before u wrote..loooll

P.S. and also "Nothing left to gain after gaining you" hehe sounds nice))