WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle!

**Anonymouse** · 03-10-2003, 08:56 PM

Okay before we go any further it must be understood that what you are reading does indeed get very sick, raw, and might be offensive. If you choose to read then read. There are jokes that might come offensive to some and others who are warped and twisted like me might laff their asses off. So you are entering at your own risk. Enjoy if you read them, and if you read them and don't like it, well I don't know what to say but I warned you.

A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend "You won't believe what happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to it. I untied her, and then we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything.

His friend replies, "That's great: did you get a blow job?"

Oh, no: I never found her head.

What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night?

Crib death.

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Right where you left it.

What has two legs and bleeds profusely?

Half a cat.

What's red and orange and looks good on hippies?

Fire.

Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor.
The doctor says: "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."

Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"

The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."

Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new baby son. The doctor walks in and Michael asks: "Doctor, how long before we can have sex?" The doctor replies, "I'd wait until he's at least 14."

Two guys are walking down the street and see a dog on the lawn, licking his balls.

One guy says to the other, "Man, I sure wish I could do that".

The other guy says, "Don't you think you ought to pet him first?"

There was a cruise ship that ended up sinking just off the coast of a small deserted island.There where only 3 survivors: 2 guys and a girl. They lived there for a couple of years doing what was natural for men and women.

After several years of casual sex all the time, the girl felt really bad about what she had been doing. She felt having sex with both guys was so bad that she killed herself.

It was very tragic but the two guys managed to get through it and after a while nature once more took it's inevitable course.

Well, a couple more years went by and the guys began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing. So...

They buried her.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

A: One, but you have to throw it really hard.

Q. What's worse than ten dead babies in a barrel?

A. One dead baby in ten barrels.

Q: Why did the baby cross the road?

A: It was stapled to the chicken.

Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree?

A: Because it was dead.

Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree?

A: Because it was stapled to the koala.

Q: Why did the tree fall over?

A: The koala never let go.

Q: Why did the kangaroo die?

A: Because the koala landed on it.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall?

Art.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a boiling pot?

Stu.

What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs hammered into a piece of wood?

Peg.

How do you get a goth out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

Q: Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

A: Because they're ugly and they stink.

TVAdict710 · 03-12-2003, 07:53 AM

you have a very sick and twisted mind. i cant wait for more jokes.

**Anonymouse** · 03-14-2003, 03:07 PM

Damn 45 views, 1 reply, I guess people didn't like it.

mizzcharagigi · 03-14-2003, 10:14 PM

lol... don't worry my little MOOKIK... i liked it =)

Lilya · 03-15-2003, 01:18 PM

ya i liked it too

TVAdict710 · 03-21-2003, 01:35 PM

meeeeeeee threeeeeeeeeeeeeee

rainman · 08-20-2006, 10:09 AM

instead of wasting the potential and fine energy that you have on usesless jokes and riddles, i suggest that you read a book, or watch a documentary program. life has a limit, and if you waste it, then what good did you accomplish that you and your community could have benefited from.

friend · 08-20-2006, 10:16 AM

Gotta hand it to you pretty good.

Jen · 08-20-2006, 11:00 AM

Hmmm...I thought there was a post somewhere asking ppl to not exumate threads...hehehehe

ArmenianKid · 08-20-2006, 11:57 AM

Whats gross?
A pile of 100 dead babies

Whats grosser then gross?
One is alive at the bottom

Whats grosser then that?
He ate his way out

Whats grosser then that?
He dove back in for more

Thai-Samurai · 08-20-2006, 02:22 PM

i would've replied but its hard to type w/ one hand,

Fedayeen · 08-20-2006, 03:33 PM

lol

That was good...

ArmenianKid · 08-20-2006, 04:30 PM

How do you get 100 dead babies out of a truck?

A pitchfork

Quarteria · 08-20-2006, 09:39 PM

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

*standing ovation*

anon12 · 03-21-2008, 02:41 PM

i got some pretty xxxxin sick jokes
1)what's the difference between a train carriage and a miscarriage
you cant eat a train carriage

2)what do you call a black asian man with aids
coondiesoon

3)knock knock
whos there
Cancer!

4)what did the deaf dumb blind kid get for christmas
a pinball machine

5)How did the nun lose her virginity
she was raped

6)What do you call 1000 black people running down a hill
mudslide

7)What is the difference between dead hookers and onions?
i cry when i cut up onions

8)When do you know when a dates going bad
When you spike your own drink with rahypnol (rape pill)

9)What do you call a cow masturbating
beef strokin' off

10)Whats black and blue and scared of me
the 8 year old in my closet

03-10-2003, 08:56 PM	#1
Anonymouse Beyond Good and Evil Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Mouseopolis, Population: 8 Posts: 19,196	WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle! Okay before we go any further it must be understood that what you are reading does indeed get very sick, raw, and might be offensive. If you choose to read then read. There are jokes that might come offensive to some and others who are warped and twisted like me might laff their asses off. So you are entering at your own risk. Enjoy if you read them, and if you read them and don't like it, well I don't know what to say but I warned you. A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend "You won't believe what happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to it. I untied her, and then we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything. His friend replies, "That's great: did you get a blow job?" Oh, no: I never found her head. What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night? Crib death. Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it. What has two legs and bleeds profusely? Half a cat. What's red and orange and looks good on hippies? Fire. Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says: "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life." Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?" The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead." Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new baby son. The doctor walks in and Michael asks: "Doctor, how long before we can have sex?" The doctor replies, "I'd wait until he's at least 14." Two guys are walking down the street and see a dog on the lawn, licking his balls. One guy says to the other, "Man, I sure wish I could do that". The other guy says, "Don't you think you ought to pet him first?" There was a cruise ship that ended up sinking just off the coast of a small deserted island.There where only 3 survivors: 2 guys and a girl. They lived there for a couple of years doing what was natural for men and women. After several years of casual sex all the time, the girl felt really bad about what she had been doing. She felt having sex with both guys was so bad that she killed herself. It was very tragic but the two guys managed to get through it and after a while nature once more took it's inevitable course. Well, a couple more years went by and the guys began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing. So... They buried her. Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? A: One, but you have to throw it really hard. Q. What's worse than ten dead babies in a barrel? A. One dead baby in ten barrels. Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken. Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the koala. Q: Why did the tree fall over? A: The koala never let go. Q: Why did the kangaroo die? A: Because the koala landed on it. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Art. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a boiling pot? Stu. What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs hammered into a piece of wood? Peg. How do you get a goth out of a tree? Cut the rope. Q: Why do women wear makeup and perfume? A: Because they're ugly and they stink. __________________ Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

03-14-2003, 03:07 PM	#3
Anonymouse Beyond Good and Evil Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Mouseopolis, Population: 8 Posts: 19,196	Damn 45 views, 1 reply, I guess people didn't like it. __________________ Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

03-14-2003, 10:14 PM	#4
mizzcharagigi Registered User Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 114	lol... don't worry my little MOOKIK... i liked it =) __________________ I suffer from C.R.S Can't Remember xxxx

08-20-2006, 10:09 AM	#7
rainman Registered User Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Land of Logic Posts: 1	Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle! instead of wasting the potential and fine energy that you have on usesless jokes and riddles, i suggest that you read a book, or watch a documentary program. life has a limit, and if you waste it, then what good did you accomplish that you and your community could have benefited from.

08-20-2006, 10:16 AM	#8
friend Registered User Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 134	Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle! Gotta hand it to you pretty good.

03-12-2003, 07:53 AM	#2
TVAdict710 Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 375	you have a very sick and twisted mind. i cant wait for more jokes.

03-15-2003, 01:18 PM	#5
Lilya Registered User Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 172	ya i liked it too

03-21-2003, 01:35 PM	#6
TVAdict710 Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 375	meeeeeeee threeeeeeeeeeeeeee

08-20-2006, 11:00 AM	#9
Jen Maktub. Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Cupertino, CA Posts: 628	Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle! Hmmm...I thought there was a post somewhere asking ppl to not exumate threads...hehehehe __________________ "Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own." - Paulo Coelho

08-20-2006, 11:57 AM	#10
ArmenianKid Never Forget Fallujah Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Fort Knox, Kentucky Posts: 471	Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle! Whats gross? A pile of 100 dead babies Whats grosser then gross? One is alive at the bottom Whats grosser then that? He ate his way out Whats grosser then that? He dove back in for more __________________ "An eye for an eye makes the world blind" -Ghandi

08-20-2006, 02:22 PM	#11
Thai-Samurai we can all be friends Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 1,472	Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle! i would've replied but its hard to type w/ one hand,

08-20-2006, 03:33 PM	#12
Fedayeen Registered User Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Siberia Posts: 561	Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle! lol That was good...

08-20-2006, 04:30 PM	#13
ArmenianKid Never Forget Fallujah Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Fort Knox, Kentucky Posts: 471	Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle! How do you get 100 dead babies out of a truck? A pitchfork __________________ "An eye for an eye makes the world blind" -Ghandi

08-20-2006, 09:39 PM	#14
Quarteria Registered User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: The Chicago-land area Posts: 724	Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! standing ovation __________________ "Many diasporans are the descendants of genocide survivors. They are not just going to forget what the Ottoman Turks did to them or their ancestors in 1915. For the Turkish government the diasporans are merely the "ones that got away."" -- Tom Servo

03-21-2008, 02:41 PM	#15
anon12 Registered User Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 1	Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle! i got some pretty xxxxin sick jokes 1)what's the difference between a train carriage and a miscarriage you cant eat a train carriage 2)what do you call a black asian man with aids coondiesoon 3)knock knock whos there Cancer! 4)what did the deaf dumb blind kid get for christmas a pinball machine 5)How did the nun lose her virginity she was raped 6)What do you call 1000 black people running down a hill mudslide 7)What is the difference between dead hookers and onions? i cry when i cut up onions 8)When do you know when a dates going bad When you spike your own drink with rahypnol (rape pill) 9)What do you call a cow masturbating beef strokin' off 10)Whats black and blue and scared of me the 8 year old in my closet

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 2 (0 members and 2 guests)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes	Rate This Thread
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode	Rate This Thread:

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Historicity of the xxxish Holocaust	loseyourname	Intellectual Lounge	333	07-29-2004 01:21 PM