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  • "Home"

    Today me and a friend of mine got into a discussion about the idea of "home"... what it really means. It all started because of a conversation in the film "Garden State." For those of you who haven't seen it, here's the transcript:

    Andrew: You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone.

    Sam: I still feel at home in my house.

    Andrew Largeman: You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this right of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for you kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place.

    this is the conversation as it went:

    XXXXXXXXXX [12:59 AM]: have you ever heard a quote and been struck by how accurately it expresses something you've been feeling that you never tried to put into words before? a couple nights ago I watched the trailer for Garden State online since I keep reading about how great it is on all the blogs I read, and there was a quote in it that sums up something I've been dreading. it's part of the reason I've always made sure to spend every weekend and day off school at home. I've seen it happen to other people I know who've gone away to college, and I've been trying to make sure it never happens to me I never want to think of my home as "my parents' house" and not "my home"

    Hye Jinx 1984 [1:02 AM]: but at the same time a part of you stays stagnent. You need to establish a home for yourself.

    XXXXXXXXXX [1:04 AM]: but to me, a house is not a home without family. If I move out completely, my new place won't feel like a home until I have a family of my own in it. I don't want to get stuck between the two.

    Hye Jinx 1984 [1:04 AM]: It's part of life. are you saying you want to live with your parents until the day you get married? A girl's not going to be attracted to someone like that... at least, not a girl that would respect you

    XXXXXXXXXX [1:05 AM]: I know that's not the way it's going to happen, but it sure is the way I'd prefer it to happen. Still, the quote seems really relevant

    Hye Jinx 1984 [1:07 AM]: I don't know, I've never had a strong feeling of "home"... maybe cause I've moved so much where as you were born and raised in the same house. My family could move somewhere else tomorrow and that place wouldn't be closer to my heart than anywhere else.

    XXXXXXXXXX [1:08 AM]: the house is certainly a big part of it, 'cause I really love that house. But it's also the fact that my family lives there. I can't imagine coming home from school or work to a place and thinking "ah, it's good to be home" unless I have family living there with me
    Hye Jinx 1984 [1:09 AM]: true. but still, the whole idea of "home" isn't one I'm concerned about. actaully, that's incorrect... it's probably the idea I'm most concerned about, but not in the traditional sense. but in any case... I don't really identify with that quote as much as you do.

    In any case, later on the discussion came up with another friend who's currently in Israel and very home sick of the states, and this was the case I made for my idea of "home":

    Hye Jinx 1984 [1:28 AM]: like I told Ari, I've never really had a strong sense of "home"... where as he's basically lived in the same house most of his life, I've moved a bunch of times and come from a divorced family... I've kinda considered myself my own home, and where ever I go, it's my home cause I'm there. But even then I consider it home only in a superficial sense. The only time I truly think I'll feel at home is if I go to Armenia. Here I live in houses not built by my people on land that has nothing to do with me... such is the nature of any group of people in a diaspora. So as far as I'm concered I live in a house, and that's that, and I could move someplace else tomorrow and that would be my new house, but it wouldn't be any more or less close to my heart as these four walls around me now. I think if I ever stepped foot on Armenian soil, it would be the first time I can take a breath and say, truly say, "I'm home."

    anyway, I just felt that the idea of home and what it really means could be a good place to start for a philosophical discussion.
    Last edited by HyeJinx1984; 10-06-2004, 01:08 AM.
    "All I know is I'm not a Marxist." -Karl Marx

  • #2
    home to me is being with my family and friends, not necessarily in Armenia. As much as I love Armenia I would be more happier and safe if I was living where my family was living. It's also not necessarily a particular house that I grew up in, if my family moved to a different state I would still feel like our new home would be home because that is where my family would be living, at least I think I would, I might miss North Carolina in the sense of the atmosphere and the people and the mountains, but all in all home is where the family(heart) is.

    I also kinda agree with what the guy, Andrew, from Graden State was saying. Ever since I started college home hasnt felt the same. Whenever I vist my family everything looks different. I'm not part of their daily life so when I stay home during vacations things seem to go in different directions. Cause now my mom has to add an extra plate on the table, get me a place to sleep (I dont have my own room ) and the sharing the bathroom problem with my sisters gets hectic. But I love my family and I know they love me so home is the first place I think about and miss tremendously when I am not at home.


    • #3
      Well, I'm the direct opposite. I've been living on my own since I was 20. I don't mean dorm rooms, I don't mean roommates, I mean on my own. I moved out before I was financial ready due to some family issues; of course, living with my dad, I never would have been financially ready. Now granted that put me through hell and back the initial 5 years or so, I wouldn't trade the feeling of being on my own and not dealing/compromising with anyone for anything in the world. Even when I have people visit for a little while, it's great when they're initially here, but after a couple of days, I can't wait for them to leave so I can have my life back on my terms.

      The only person I feel comfortable with having over for long periods of time is one of my sisters (the only family member I get along/stay in contact with on a regular basis). When she comes back from school, she stays with me, and it's good times and such. She's always been a carbon copy of me. She got into basketball because I did, she got into cars because I did, I got her a job at the place I worked at (17 year old pulling in $10/hr for her first job ain't too shabby!), etc. I guess she could have picked worse roll models out of our anyone else. Other then that, I'm not too comfortable with people around. Hell, I make an effort to not meet neighbors, even. Nosy bastards. But yeah, home to me is where I live, on my own.
      You suck at life.


      • #4
        Home is Armenia. More precisely, a nice little appartment on Apovian.

        Now for the cynical point of view:

        While I felt right at home in Yerevan, and many many diasporan Armenians feel the same way, it is still, at the same time, not truly home.

        The reason for that is, you will be seen by some, by many, as still being an outsider. Diasporan Armenians have to get used to the fact that they are a nation without a home. I'm born in Syria, but Syria definitely isn't home. Neither is Canada. Armenia was it for me, yet some will still disagree.

        Anywho, that whole idea is slowly drifting away with the passing of the old generation, and with a new "pan-Armenian" view that the youth is adapting.

        Even if it doesn't go away, Armenia will UNQUESTIONABLY become home for your grandchildren, and that's when this constant nomadic feeling will go away.


        • #5
          I don't know about you people...but my home is at the mall

          *twirls hair*
          Vote For Pedro!!


          • #6
            My home is where I have my desktop hooked up to the net.
            this post = teh win.


            • #7
              Huh first of all what's that movie? Never heard of it..when will it come out?

              According to me "home" is where you can get distracted from the usual priorities of life, it's where private life comes in play. I usually think of "home" as a place where you are alone with the thoughts of facts that matters you the most. "home" is like if you stop the time while you are in it, safe, and when you get out, the time continues. Home isn't necesseraly (correct my spelling mistakes ) where you actually belong to, or anyone that matters for you, it's just a place that matters for you. Your home could be anywhere, you just have to choose your right one


              • #8
                Originally posted by Mags
                I don't know about you people...but my home is at the mall

                *twirls hair*
                you don't come on nearly enough, pretty eyes.
                "All I know is I'm not a Marxist." -Karl Marx


                • #9
                  I cant define home, there are too many of them. Im confused which one is part of me...........................


                  • #10
                    My work is my home.
                    When the going gets tough, I just quit.