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True Stories

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  • #1

    True Stories

    Sometimes things that happen in real life are funnier than some jokes. So here is my story, and I'm sticking to it.

    One Halloween when I was in junior high, my friends and I decided to TP this house. My best friend wanted to get condoms to put in the yard though. Neither of us had ever bought condoms before, and we were both VERY UNCOMFORTABLE doing so. We spent four hours trying to find a place where the condoms where not located immediately in front of the pharmacists who would watch you. Finally, we went to a gas station. I was against this idea from the get-go. I told her that if she wanted condoms that she was going to have to buy them. I went to the back of the store to grab a coke, while she found the condoms. I was standing behind her in line pretending to not be with her.

    Wait. Wait. Wait.

    This also happened to be the last day of the Lottery that no one had won for a good while, so it was big winnings...

    So I was standing in line behind her, and the woman in front of her purchased a stack of lottery tickets. That woman left, and my friend anxiously placed her condoms on the counter. In a small voice she asked the busy cashier if you had to be eighteen to purchase them. The cashier who had not noticed the condoms on the counter and was still thinking of the woman who had just departed said, “No, but you have to be eighteen to turn them back in.”

    My friend gasped, “OH MY GOSH, you mean you recycle these?”

    I wanted to die.

    p.s. my friends name is left out of the story to protect the identity of the innocent. But really, it was one of my friends, not me.
    The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald
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  • #2
    Cute

    Comment

    • #3
      Okay. True story.

      I caused a fire one time in Armenia, at my grandmothers house, down by the dry grass area.

      That ruled, to see a 6 year old wield so much power with the element of fire.
      Achkerov kute.

      Comment

      • #4
        True story.
        I sat on the train once and noticed that a woman wearing a skirt was sitting in front of me with her legs so wide open that one could see the reflection of the pink color underwear in the window. So not able to avoid the unpleasant view and feeling compassionate towards her I looked straight into her eyes hoping to get her attention and started making clapping motions with my hands, to sort of hint for her to close her legs, she noticed my gesture and started smiling at me. Well nothing worked, she didn’t get my hint, and I figured that this clapping motion might send a wrong message, she kept smiling… So I switched over and started opening and closing my legs, this time she looked down at herself and realized the open position. She immediately turned red and angry; the old lady next to me got up, with a look of fear on her face after seeing me do the Macarena on my seat, and everyone on the train was chuckling at the site of the ladies underwear. Lesson: Mind your own damn business, even if the view needs mowing.
        Just thought I’d share this one with you.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by anileve
          True story.
          I sat on the train once and noticed that a woman wearing a skirt was sitting in front of me with her legs so wide open that one could see the reflection of the pink color underwear in the window. So not able to avoid the unpleasant view and feeling compassionate towards her I looked straight into her eyes hoping to get her attention and started making clapping motions with my hands, to sort of hint for her to close her legs, she noticed my gesture and started smiling at me. Well nothing worked, she didn’t get my hint, and I figured that this clapping motion might send a wrong message, she kept smiling… So I switched over and started opening and closing my legs, this time she looked down at herself and realized the open position. She immediately turned red and angry; the old lady next to me got up, with a look of fear on her face after seeing me do the Macarena on my seat, and everyone on the train was chuckling at the site of the ladies underwear. Lesson: Mind your own damn business, even if the view needs mowing.
          Just thought I’d share this one with you.
          Was the lady hot?

          And if so, could there have been other reasons why you were looking?
          Achkerov kute.

          Comment

          • #6
            Originally posted by Anonymouse
            Was the lady hot?

            And if so, could there have been other reasons why you were looking?
            Silly Billy! Read my post before posing such vulgar questions .

            Originally posted by anileve So not able to avoid the unpleasant view and feeling compassionate towards her ....
            Nothing perverse here, no lesbian feelings that you have tried to withdraw from me, no, nyet, no way serree!

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            • #7
              Originally posted by anileve
              Silly Billy! Read my post before posing such vulgar questions .



              Nothing perverse here, no lesbian feelings that you have tried to withdraw from me, no, nyet, no way serree!
              Come on you are obviously lying.

              All girls are 4 drinks away from becoming a lesbian.
              Achkerov kute.

              Comment

              • #8
                Watching too much porn again?

                Comment

                • #9
                  No, partying too much in the dorms and school apartments.
                  Achkerov kute.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Anonymouse
                    No, partying too much in the dorms and school apartments.
                    I've missed that entire college scene. It is such a reckless time full of new discoveries.

                    And then time passes by and you start thinking of your future and being responsible. Although some people never get there. I was busy being practical and independent. I think I would recommend to anyone to go away to college. In fact if I could I would partially study in Paris. Hopefully for my future children it would be more plausible.

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