Confidence and flattery will get you everywhere.

[Anonymouse]

The little post whoring I had with anileve led me to think about something. That something sparked a thought. That thought then turned into an action. The action then took the form of this thread.

The human ego is a fragile thing to be exploited - people love to be loved, people love to be praised, people love to feel important. Confidence, it is the trademark of socialites, confidence will open doors for those who have it, closed to those who don't. Confidence lets those who have it approach life with one hand on it's writhing seemingly uncontrollable throat and the other holding a pair of binoculars to see the bright future that lays ahead. Confidence makes you desireable, confidence makes people want to know you.

Flattery is the act of ego stroking, everyone will fall victim to it given the right circumstances - make those circumstances right and you will already be ahead of the pack. Flattery by the confident is worth 100x the flattery of an outcast, it is flattery by someone who is envied by others, it places the flatteree on a podium and makes them a god...

...a benevolent god who seeks approval of his worshippers, who will go to the ends of the world to keep the image of his holyness to his underlings. It is then, that you can see, that it is the mere peon flatterer that holds the true power through suggestion.

Confidence and flattery, a potent brew for those who can administer it with the skill of a medieval alchemist on an ailing king.

So anileve, don't flatter yourself

[anileve]

My philosophy exactly, you are the first person I know that came up with that same conclusion. Don't flatter yourself, self righteousness is not very becoming. I’ll have to expand on this one some other time, but this is by far the first sensible post by you. I applaud, however there is still much work to be done. People might say what they want when it comes to listing numerous qualities they seek in a mate, but initially it is pretty much one thing that draws us to each other and that is confidence as you’ve mentioned.

Flattery however is another matter; sincerity is what I frankly prefer and it is quite easy for someone with confidence to distinguish the difference between the two. However, many fall slaves to the manipulative ways of that deceiving and conniving flattery, for it can be one of the most manipulative tools to condition the masses and yet even more dangerous when it is used by someone with confidence.

[Anonymouse]

The first sensible post by me?

Wow, as opposed to you having none at all.

But yes, I'm glad you agree with my outlook.

Cheers Ms Anileve.

[anileve]

Re: Confidence and flattery will get you everywhere.

Originally posted by Anonymouse
So anileve, don't flatter yourself

I don't have to honey, you are doing a pretty good job.

What about arrogance, would you consider it a form of extreme confidence, or perhaps false inflation of insecurity?

Where do the confident find their confidence? From other confident people or just from not giving a xxxx? Arrogant find their arrogance by feeding on other people's flattery.

[Anonymouse]

I think arrogance stems from both a bit of insecurity and some confidence since I don't think there is any certain way to determine this, trying to give objective analysis to a subjective world.

As far as confident people getting their confidence, I guess from my own personal experience and view, for myslf, my confidence comes from my experience and knowledge and simply not giving a xxxx what other morons think.

As soon as I think in these terms, I'm on cloud nine.

[jahannam]

Interesting questions...
Arrogance is certainly confidence at its extremes.
Arrogant people prove that often, by saying they're "just confident".

where do confident people get their confidence?
I think it's a chicken/egg situation...
_when you're confident, things go well (people admire you, including partners, employers, clients, teachers, etc...)
_when things go well in your life, it builds your confidence.

but I think arrogance is genetic or something...lol
arrogant people don't need flattery...
they're arrogant no matter what..

[Anonymouse]

Every trait we have is to a degree genetic. Phrases such as "he's too much like his father", or "hes got his mothers wits", all bear claim to that.

While scientists and other pseudo experts may claim this or that, our personal experience verifies this more than anything.

[anileve]

Interesting, I can second that “I don’t give a xxxx” phrase, it does take away some of your worries and boost your self confidence. Plus I’ve noticed that the moment people sense that “I don’t give a xxxx” attitude, they become drawn to those people. So perhaps it is also that challenge that we seek, to tame the untamable.

But then again, do we really not give a xxxx? Even those who tend to be indifferent to the judgment of others still fall under the influence of establishing their own image. So nonetheless I think everyone sill cares abut the image they portray. We all want to be loved and “special”. We are all selfish, I know I am, although I finally have no problem admitting it, since I now understood that we all just assign the word “selfish” a negative connotation, yet it is a trait of self existence.

[Anonymouse]

I think we all have that selfishness in us, for we all desire destinction and uniqueness and all desire followers. While we believe we are being "individuals" and "rebellious" or "confident" we merely mimic others.

I believe Oscar Wilde had something to say about this.

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.

[anileve]

That reminds me of “The Picture of Dorian Grey” by Oscar where he directly addresses this same philosophy. Vanity is a human sin, he explores its dark corners and yet clearly displays it’s destiny. Oscar was a brilliant man, it’s a pity there aren’t that many literary works by him.