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How do you earn respect?

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  • #11
    Originally posted by Sip View Post
    It depends ... you can be highly respected in some circles and not so much in others. How you earn respect is usually by:

    1. Being respectful yourself. People tend to not respect those who have a very high opinion of themselves.

    2. Be able to admit when you are wrong.

    3. Knowing your limits. You don't have to be an expert in everything to gain respect as long as you know what you don't know (often this is not easy).

    4. Understand the difference between respect and fear. People may fear you but that does not mean they respect you. Usually, posturing, threatening, aggresive behavior, and down-right rudeness can create the illusion of respect but all it really does is it hides other people's true feelings about you
    I totally agree with point #1. Self respect is absolutely essential as a foundation. People immediately sense self-treatment and form their approach often subconsciously. That's why I think that self degradation, depreciation can often be funny, but it's very dangerous to toy with that for a long time, people become too used to it and interpret that "wit" as a license to humorously degrade the person as well.

    2.) Eh, this one I am not sure about. I definitely admire those who can admit their mistakes, rather than blindly defending their mishaps. However, not everyone is like me. Majority feel that if the person has admitted to mistakes, they are bound to make others and are not as "authoritative" or "infallible" as they initially seemed to be. Also I've realized that in work situations, people will go to great extremes of defending their mistakes or trying to shift the blame. I think the consensus is not to allow others to notice your flaws. Having said that, do you still think that it's a quality to "nurture" in order to demand stellar respect?

    3.)
    You don't have to be an expert in everything to gain respect as long as you know what you don't know
    I think you mean: "As long as you know what THEY don't know." If that's the case, I totally agree with you. People love hearing that someone can say something moderately intelligent about something they are clueless about. However, this can be done with a gullible or ignorant crowd and as long as you can articulate something the right way you don't really have to say anything of substance. So perhaps being able to manipulate people into believing that you know what you are talking about.

    4.) Agreed. Fear may inspire respect, but it's extremely or completely volatile. Based on inflated and superficially induced reaction. So.. fear may inspire respect, but respect doesn't equal fear.

    So far we are down to only one absolute moral quality which can contribute to respect from others. That's not enough. Can one win full and solid respect by being totally moral and kind?

    Originally posted by PepsiAddict View Post
    You earn respect by treating others how you wanna be treated plain & simple.
    Cause if you dont respect a person dont expect respect back.
    Not enough. I have seen many who are incredibly respectful towards others but are not respected by most.

    Originally posted by jgk3 View Post
    I find that when you can empathize with others whilst keeping to your values, even the blind will notice and that's good enough for me.

    I also agree with Sip's take on it, every day I live and experience others in a way that seem to confirm this. Even with dogs I feel it works this way for 1 and 4.
    The blind's notice is a sufficient indication of respect for you? I am not convinced that empathizing with others doesn't earn enough respect. Again, this is maybe a portion and certainly a valuable or desired addition, but I am asking for the main components.

    I don't mean to be abrasive, but a dog is not a good example of the respect experiment. As long as you feed the dog and train it, it will love you no matter how much you beat it. It will do the same if you are kind to it.

    I think all of you are confusing being a good person, or being labeled as such and being respected.

    You can honestly say that you have not met that sweat aunt, or friend who is kind and sympathetic or empathetic, but when it comes to asking for serious advice or some reference not many would turn to them? Many people of that nature are great listeners, someone to vent or share intimate stories with, but if it came to a crucial decision or a point of view others rarely look in their direction seriously. Am I wrong?

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    • #12
      Re: How do you earn respect?

      Originally posted by Inthemood
      Not enough. I have seen many who are incredibly respectful towards others but are not respected by most.
      Well if you show them respect & they dont show you respect back then there not worth your time & you shouldnt dwell on them.
      Positive vibes, positive taught

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      • #13
        Re: How do you earn respect?

        Originally posted by Inthemood
        You can honestly say that you have not met that sweat aunt, or friend who is kind and sympathetic or empathetic, but when it comes to asking for serious advice or some reference not many would turn to them? Many people of that nature are great listeners, someone to vent or share intimate stories with, but if it came to a crucial decision or a point of view others rarely look in their direction seriously. Am I wrong?
        I did not realize that this is what you were referring to with respect. So respect to you is being seen by others as some kind of authority when it comes to advice, decision making or teachings?

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        • #14
          Re: How do you earn respect?

          Originally posted by jgk3 View Post
          I did not realize that this is what you were referring to with respect. So respect to you is being seen by others as some kind of authority when it comes to advice, decision making or teachings?
          Originally Posted by Inthemood View Post
          You can honestly say that you have not met that sweat aunt
          By the way, aside from that ant being sweaty she is also swEEt.

          It's not just to me, but to many. I believe that if you respect someone you respect their opinion. Am I wrong?

          Interestingly enough today one of my coworkers came up to me and told me that his assistant has a terrible attitude, she doesn't do anything he assigns to her and in addition to that she disrespects him. He said that he was always under the impression that if you treat someone with respect they will respect you back. He has treated her with respect, but she abuses him in return.

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          • #15
            Re: How do you earn respect?

            Respect is entirely overrated. Who gives a crap? Too many people are mired in this one little morsel of existence. "You disrespected me bro", or "Nigga betta respe't me".

            Amusing children playing Battleships for respect!
            Achkerov kute.

            Comment

            • #16
              Re: How do you earn respect?

              Originally posted by Anonymouse View Post
              Respect is entirely overrated. Who gives a crap? Too many people are mired in this one little morsel of existence. "You disrespected me bro", or "Nigga betta respe't me".

              Amusing children playing Battleships for respect!
              Quoted for verisimilitude.

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