Did I do the right thing?

[Siggie]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

What an ass! Armen, you're completely in the right here. I would have taken his keys too.
He's definitely got this macho thing going on and he's domineering enough that his family is afraid to stand up to him. If he's talking about "next time" I would have told there is no next time and I don't want him in my home again or driving around the neighborhood where he can kill my family because of his fragile ego.

I mean really? Is that measure of a man? Being able to drink yourself silly and still drive?

I actually wonder if a different approach would have worked better. What if you get pulled over even if you're not driving like you're drunk. You could lose your license and spend the night in jail.
Could that have been effective? He doesn't seem at rational and would probably have said he drives perfectly and there's not reason why he would be pulled over.

[jgk3]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

You did the right thing One-Way, do it again the next time such a thing occurs. I think you're right though that you might want to take his keys before hand the next time.

[Crimson Glow]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

Agreed with all of the above. As Sip said, you can do whatever you want with your own life, but the minute you start endangering the lives of others, not only is it my business, but it is my civic DUTY to do whatever I can to stop that. When he told you he had a real problem with being "touched", you should have told him "I have a real problem with a drunk piece of xxxx trying to drive my sister home". And when he said you don't even know him, I would have informed him you learned everything you need to learn about him between last night, and just now. And as Siggie said above, my response to the "next time, don't stop me" would have been there won't BE a next time. You show up at my house again, or ANYwhere near my family, and I will bury you! This isn't a f*cking trailer park.

That raises another concern you should have at this point. Is it really a good idea for your sister to be marrying into this family? I'm assuming the fiance didn't open his mouth, or step up at all since there was no real mention of him anywhere, other than him ENCOURAGING his brother's deplorable actions by pleading with you to come back and continue talking with him. And this guy's influence on your sister is already starting to show, i.e. she texted you to arrange the meeting with the older brother. Not the type of people I'd want my sister hang around, let alone marrying.

[One-Way]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

I actually wonder if a different approach would have worked better. What if you get pulled over even if you're not driving like you're drunk. You could lose your license and spend the night in jail.
Could that have been effective? He doesn't seem at rational and would probably have said he drives perfectly and there's not reason why he would be pulled over.

He claims he was sober when he wanted to drive. My buzz wore off when this entire thing happened but we were definitely not sober. We had stopped drinking only an hour earlier. I told him that even if he was good to drive, he still as alcohol in his system and he can get pulled over and tossed into jail.

That raises another concern you should have at this point. Is it really a good idea for your sister to be marrying into this family? I'm assuming the fiance didn't open his mouth, or step up at all since there was no real mention of him anywhere, other than him ENCOURAGING his brother's deplorable actions by pleading with you to come back and continue talking with him. And this guy's influence on your sister is already starting to show, i.e. she texted you to arrange the meeting with the older brother. Not the type of people I'd want my sister hang around, let alone marrying.

Crimson, I understand what you're saying but that's not really right. My sister and my sister's fiance spoke with him for 3 hours before I met up with them. When my sister got home, I was still asleep but I overheard her tell my mother about the entire thing. She basically went through everything and told him this is never going to happen again, he needs to reconsider the way he acts or he is seriously getting kicked out of their lives, etc.

I mean, they really scared him to death and I could tell when we were alone. My only problem is they didn't have that talk when I was there. It felt like the only reason I was brought to the meeting was to "settle our differences." I didn't have any problems with the "cussing" and "touching" part, I just wanted to settle his behavior.

However, as I said, he has never acted like this before -- wanting to drink and drive. It was his "macho image" and I guess like he felt that way since his younger brother/cousin were there.

[One-Way]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

Now, I don't know how to handle this situation personally. Should I just forget all the cruel things he said? Should I brush it off as he was drunk/he was heated at the meeting. He's family and he made a mistake; he was drunk and I got up in his face. I understand why he acted the way he did. There won't be a next time and if there is, then that's a different problem.

I'm not going to break ties off with him, I mean, I'm going to be seeing him today for Easter! What should I do? Ignore his words and act like I'm over them? I don't want to hold grudges. He said sorry for his behavior and I know his brother had a good talk down on him. It's just when I think of what he said, I don't even want to get near him.

[Crimson Glow]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

It's just when I think of what he said, I don't even want to get near him.

So don't. Let him know that you don't condone his behavior, and it will take some time to forgive him for his ignorant display, ESPECIALLY since he continued the next day instead of apologizing for last night. If he starts to think he can do things of this nature, and all is forgiven in the next day or two, nothing will change. He needs to know that this made a MAJOR impact on everyone around him, and was a very significant event.

[Pazooki]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

Just act like nothing happened man.

You guys are gonna be family soon. If he was your own brother wouldn't you have gotten mad but said, "He's my brother, its okay." What he did was wrong but as soon as he started cussing/touching you you should have put him in his place.

[MrHyeSev]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

He should realize tha you were helping because you care for him.
Hopefully he will come to his senses & he be the one to apologize.

[hrai]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

He claims he was sober when he wanted to drive. My buzz wore off when this entire thing happened but we were definitely not sober. We had stopped drinking only an hour earlier. I told him that even if he was good to drive, he still as alcohol in his system and he can get pulled over and tossed into jail.

One unit of alcohol takes about one hour to "leave" your system. 10 shots isn't that much. depending on the size of shot. (50 or 100ml ?)
Either way, 10 is way too much to drive. The effect alcohol has is that your periferal vision narrows the more you drink, drive with that and someones gonna be hurt.
Chances are if the SoB had an accident he would sue your a** for allowing him to drive away.
p.s. (the periferal vision thing means you can sideswipe him next time!)

[Siggie]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

Never heard of effects specifically on peripheral vision. They are way more widespread. Alcohol, as a depressant, depressed the whole brain (reduced neural activity), so generally all cognitive functions suffer. This includes but is not limited to, decision making/judgment, reaction time, attention, and coordination.