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Yesterday, we had a little get together at my house. I'll try to make this easy to understand without mentioning any names. It was my girlfriend and I, my sister and her fiance, my sister's fiance's brother (let's call him 'Older Brother') and their cousin. The cousin is 18 and is visiting from Florida. We began drinking and having a good time, also keeping an eye on the cousin. We let her drink a little but made sure she was okay.
It was around 1:30am and my sister's fiance's younger brother (let's call him 'Younger Brother') joined us too. Everybody was hungry so since Younger Brother was sober, he drove to get food. When we got back, my sister and girlfriend were in my house and my sister's fiance had just left. So, the rest of us ate and around 2am, they decided to go home. However, since Older Brother was drunk and had to drive his cousin, my plan was to make sure he didn't drive. Instead, I wanted Younger Brother to drive.
The Older Brother refused to let his Younger Brother drive. I did everything I could to make sure he didn't get behind the wheel; not only had he drank 10+ shots, he had his brother and cousin in the car as well. I tried telling him as calmly as I could and he wouldn't listen. I tried blocking his way into the car, only to be thrown away. He became furious after a while and started pushing me away. I was forced to become aggressive and started grabbing him and pushing him off the car. He started cussing at me while using some very horrible language. In the end, the Younger Brother drove.
Today, my sister text messaged me telling me to meet them at Starbucks because the Older Brother wanted to talk. He had text messaged me saying he hadn't slept all night and had to discuss some things. I assumed it was because he felt guilty for how he acted (he said some horrible things and it wouldn't matter much but since he's family, it was extremley insulting). So, my girlfriend and I drove there and my sister/her fiance/Older Brother were there.
Basically, he jumped right into it. He said he understands what I tried to do, but he has a problem with being "touched" or talked down to, and he didn't appreciate my behavior. He said I embarrased him in front of his brother/cousin and that I crossed the line after many warnings. I was completely shocked. I told them what happened and how I did everything I could so he wouldn't drive and I was pretty much ignored. The focus of the meeting wasn't even on drunk driving. He even told me he made his Younger Brother pull over and he drove the rest of the way home!! I eventually got very pissed off when he told my girlfriend to stop talking because she had nothing to do with it, so I left.
An hour later my sister's fiance pleaded for me to go back. When I got there, it was just us guys. I told them very bluntly that what he did/wanted to do was wrong and I was FORCED to act the way I did. I had to make sure he didn't get behind the wheel and that was my ONLY concern. I told them I don't regret how I acted and that I had NO CHOICE. The Older Brother said to me that next time, it's not your choice who drives and that next time I shouldn't force him out of the car. I didn't want to stay there any longer so I let him go home. I stayed there for a few minutes with my sister's fiance and told him his brother is very wrong and he's going to end up hurting himself and others.
I'm extremely hurt by what he said to me last night and today. As I said, I don't let words get to me but since he's family, it really bothers me. I can't believe I went there thinking he was going to be understanding now that he's sober.
Did I do the right thing by stopping him? Should I have acted differently? In my defense, I couldn't have acted any differently. I was in my apartment's garage, without a phone and no one around me. I was hoping the Younger Brother would listen to me instead of his drunk brother and stay in the driver seat, instead he listened to his Older Brother. Was I wrong to use force to try to remove him from his car? It was him who forcibly shoved me in the first place and I felt like I had no choice but to physically make sure he didn't get in the car.
It was around 1:30am and my sister's fiance's younger brother (let's call him 'Younger Brother') joined us too. Everybody was hungry so since Younger Brother was sober, he drove to get food. When we got back, my sister and girlfriend were in my house and my sister's fiance had just left. So, the rest of us ate and around 2am, they decided to go home. However, since Older Brother was drunk and had to drive his cousin, my plan was to make sure he didn't drive. Instead, I wanted Younger Brother to drive.
The Older Brother refused to let his Younger Brother drive. I did everything I could to make sure he didn't get behind the wheel; not only had he drank 10+ shots, he had his brother and cousin in the car as well. I tried telling him as calmly as I could and he wouldn't listen. I tried blocking his way into the car, only to be thrown away. He became furious after a while and started pushing me away. I was forced to become aggressive and started grabbing him and pushing him off the car. He started cussing at me while using some very horrible language. In the end, the Younger Brother drove.
Today, my sister text messaged me telling me to meet them at Starbucks because the Older Brother wanted to talk. He had text messaged me saying he hadn't slept all night and had to discuss some things. I assumed it was because he felt guilty for how he acted (he said some horrible things and it wouldn't matter much but since he's family, it was extremley insulting). So, my girlfriend and I drove there and my sister/her fiance/Older Brother were there.
Basically, he jumped right into it. He said he understands what I tried to do, but he has a problem with being "touched" or talked down to, and he didn't appreciate my behavior. He said I embarrased him in front of his brother/cousin and that I crossed the line after many warnings. I was completely shocked. I told them what happened and how I did everything I could so he wouldn't drive and I was pretty much ignored. The focus of the meeting wasn't even on drunk driving. He even told me he made his Younger Brother pull over and he drove the rest of the way home!! I eventually got very pissed off when he told my girlfriend to stop talking because she had nothing to do with it, so I left.
An hour later my sister's fiance pleaded for me to go back. When I got there, it was just us guys. I told them very bluntly that what he did/wanted to do was wrong and I was FORCED to act the way I did. I had to make sure he didn't get behind the wheel and that was my ONLY concern. I told them I don't regret how I acted and that I had NO CHOICE. The Older Brother said to me that next time, it's not your choice who drives and that next time I shouldn't force him out of the car. I didn't want to stay there any longer so I let him go home. I stayed there for a few minutes with my sister's fiance and told him his brother is very wrong and he's going to end up hurting himself and others.
I'm extremely hurt by what he said to me last night and today. As I said, I don't let words get to me but since he's family, it really bothers me. I can't believe I went there thinking he was going to be understanding now that he's sober.
Did I do the right thing by stopping him? Should I have acted differently? In my defense, I couldn't have acted any differently. I was in my apartment's garage, without a phone and no one around me. I was hoping the Younger Brother would listen to me instead of his drunk brother and stay in the driver seat, instead he listened to his Older Brother. Was I wrong to use force to try to remove him from his car? It was him who forcibly shoved me in the first place and I felt like I had no choice but to physically make sure he didn't get in the car.
), I know that can get touchy. 
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