Feelings

[ckBejug]

Are we responsible for our feelings, or are we only responsible for how we act them out toward others?

When we grow up we learn how to control our feelings, or how to hide them from others, because showing them can sometimes have negative consequenses. I'm thinking of karma, "what comes around goes around", cause and effect etc. We learn that if we show anger, anger is what we get back.

But when we mature we can also understand the reacton of anger in another person, we know the causes that can trigger this effect. We can empathize with that person by knowing their background, or recognizing versions of ourselves in them. If we still get hurt by that persons anger, knowing and empathizing with what caused it, are we then acting irresponsibly toward ourselves and the other person? Are we by our "immature" reaction creating "bad karma" for the other person, who perhaps hasn't enough selfawareness to realize that anger can hurt another person emotionally to begin with? It's a question of ultimate responsibility for our feelings, not just how we show them. Or is it here that forgiveness comes in? By forgiving ourselves and others can we then stop the effect of the cause, or will it only affect our peace of mind, and not the other persons "karma"?

What is really the best moral way to react to anger, if one wants to cause minimal damage, and contribute to the well-being of others and themselves instead?

Is it inevitable that learning (here the maturing process) has to involve pain and suffering?

[dusken]

Are we responsible for our feelings, or are we only responsible for how we act them out toward others?

When we grow up we learn how to control our feelings, or how to hide them from others, because showing them can sometimes have negative consequenses. I'm thinking of karma, "what comes around goes around", cause and effect etc. We learn that if we show anger, anger is what we get back.

But when we mature we can also understand the reacton of anger in another person, we know the causes that can trigger this effect. We can emphatize with that person by knowing their background, or recognizing versions of ourselves in them. If we still get hurt by that persons anger, knowing and emphatizing with what caused it, are we then acting irresponsibly toward ourselves and the other person? Are we by our "immature" reaction creating "bad karma" for the other person, who perhaps hasn't enough selfawareness to realize that anger can hurt another person emotionally to begin with? It's a question of ultimate responsibility for our feelings, not just how we show them. Or is it here that forgiveness comes in? By forgiving ourselves and others can we then stop the effect of the cause, or will it only affect our peace of mind, and not the other persons "karma"?

What is really the best moral way to react to anger, if one wants to cause minimal damage, and contribute to the well-being of others and themselves instead?

Is it inevitable that learning (here the maturing process) has to involve pain and suffering?

Karma:
I do not believe that karma exists. Karma suggests that a present day negative act on my part will result in a future suffering by me. For example, I were to get unfairly angry at someone today and tomorrow someone unrelated gets unfairly angry at me. I view it in a light that whether or not I displayed anger unfairly, I will be the object of that unrelated persons anger. Karma goes against the ideas of entropy and individual choice (whatever the mechanism of that choice may be). I do believe in cause and effect but the must be realistically connected in someway.

Anger:
I had an argument (as usual) with a friend of mine the other day over a news item that he brought up for discussion. The news item was about a man who knew he had HIV and proceeded to have unprotected sex with 70 women. In hearing this story, I put a lot of blame and responsibility on the man though I accepted that all of the women are stupid and have failed in their personal responsibility. My friend said that he does not have a responsibility for other peoples irresponsible choices and that I have to understand that I do not know what this man's life experiences have been and that he was apparently very depressed, which drove him to lash out in a way that hurt other people. What he failed to see is that if we continued to argue he would have been arguing that any given person should not be upset and any other person because all actions are for reasons that are beyond individual control. But anger is not beyond this; it is not guided by a force above what guides any other actions we do and is therefore subject to the same acceptance. Anger, as well as pain, is not a choice, it is a natural reaction stemming from who we are. To what extent do we suppress who we are and for what purpose?...

Maturity and Compassion:
I do believe maturity and growth can only occur with suffering of some sort. One must be the object of an agression in order to know how to protect oneself and understand cause and effect and to be able to make mature decisions accordingly. I believe there is a place for suppressing agression and a place for expressing it. However it is dependant on personal philosophy, making it a guideline that has a spectrum of manifestations. One can tend to suppress agression, out of compassion, toward those he or she does not want to hurt. It is up to an individual to decide who qualifies for the compassion; it can range from everyone to nobody. But if a person has decided who does and does not deserve compassion, such an outlook should be respected as individual freedom and cannot be considered wrong by any standard. Can you be angry at the decision? Sure you can.

[ckBejug]

Everyone everywhere is busy. Busy making money, busy improving themselves, busy wasting time...busy, busy, busy. And all of this is being done for happiness? And what prey tell is happiness. You know, happy thoughts. You mean you forget what happiness is? Ahh, happy thoughts, happiness, eternal bliss--how our culture hunts it down as if it were feeble minded prey. Searching for it by paying outrageous amounts of money so someone with extra large hair can tell them that they are worthy. That if they look within themself they will find zen, happiness, enlightment. All this could be yours for the mere price of your sanity and soul. I mean honestly, if you want someone to suck out your soul, by all means look here. I will do it for free and I promise the procedure will be relatively painless.

I think we need to realize that happiness is a choice. As is everything in life. Flip a coin, leave it to fate, but dont sit around listening to the saddest songs wondering why your life is so shi*ty. If you don't plan on doing anything about it what the hell is anyone else gonna do for you. Embrace yourself, embrace your life, embrace your happiness, embrace the simple things in life. Find your inner child, and make cake.

[Anonymouse]

I don't know what this has to do with feelings but I feel something aching inside of me begging to get out of me.

[ckBejug]

It's the little alien baby from that movie Alien. Good luck with that.

[sleuth]

I really hate to talk about feelings,because they are unexplainable ...our feelings and emotions that's who we are...Thats the quality that distinguishes a vital and functional being from dead body.

Feelings and emotions are integral part of human nature...it's like thoughts you never know when,how and where they come...they come and go...vanish..leaving memories or scars...personally i don't think we have to control them...by controling feelings and emotions we are faking them...nature hates that.We have to emrace our feelings and emotions..they all are interesting in moderation...and as ckbejuk said above we should find the child insid us...that little 5 years old girl still with me ...and she is very wise...life is so simple...we create chaos by trying change our lives,by trying control our emotions and feelings... what for??

We are mirrors.. i am your reflection you are mine...if you hide or control the way you feel....how am i going to see myself??

LIfe is really simple... if you live for yourself, you live for others....the greatest paradox ever.