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My pocket keeps bleeping. After hours of thought and careful deduction, I have come up with two possible reasons for this.
1. Either my cell phone is running out of battery power or is on vibrator and keeps getting calls, or...
2. I have a mechanical penis.
I decided that the latter was the more interesting, and thus posted this thread. What are the advantages of a mechanical penis?
-Because it is not organic, it can be any size you wish: i.e, not 2.5 inches.
-You could program it to make a series of noises when you're attacking, such as the Jaws theme.
- When you want to be hard, simply press a button.
- It never gets tired.
- It could be detachable
- Use it as a poking stick
-Use it to slap people
-Unbreakable
-Can be used for cooking, i.e. roller, egg beater, etc.
-Can be cleaned in a dish washer.
-Might could be converted into a lightsaber by a Jedi.
-Could have a GPS on it, so if you ever lose it during detachment, it'll be easy to find. No searching medicine cabinets or dirty laundry.
But now, what are the disadvantages of a mechanical penis?
-It starts bleeping when it runs out of power.
-If it gets wet, it might explode.
-If anybody finds out thou shalt be mocked for an eternity.
-Could malfunction and go off at any time.
-Could malfunction and not go off at all.
-It would be hard to find someone willing to repair it, you'd do your own maintenance.
-Depending on its energy source, it could cost money via gas or batteries, or a high powered nuclear powered metal penis could spread radiation poisoning.
I would like to ask the community to aid me in making a larger list of advantages and disadvantages to having a mechanical penis. Thank you.
1. Either my cell phone is running out of battery power or is on vibrator and keeps getting calls, or...
2. I have a mechanical penis.
I decided that the latter was the more interesting, and thus posted this thread. What are the advantages of a mechanical penis?
-Because it is not organic, it can be any size you wish: i.e, not 2.5 inches.
-You could program it to make a series of noises when you're attacking, such as the Jaws theme.
- When you want to be hard, simply press a button.
- It never gets tired.
- It could be detachable
- Use it as a poking stick
-Use it to slap people
-Unbreakable
-Can be used for cooking, i.e. roller, egg beater, etc.
-Can be cleaned in a dish washer.
-Might could be converted into a lightsaber by a Jedi.
-Could have a GPS on it, so if you ever lose it during detachment, it'll be easy to find. No searching medicine cabinets or dirty laundry.
But now, what are the disadvantages of a mechanical penis?
-It starts bleeping when it runs out of power.
-If it gets wet, it might explode.
-If anybody finds out thou shalt be mocked for an eternity.
-Could malfunction and go off at any time.
-Could malfunction and not go off at all.
-It would be hard to find someone willing to repair it, you'd do your own maintenance.
-Depending on its energy source, it could cost money via gas or batteries, or a high powered nuclear powered metal penis could spread radiation poisoning.
I would like to ask the community to aid me in making a larger list of advantages and disadvantages to having a mechanical penis. Thank you.
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