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Animal of the week...

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  • Animal of the week...

    I don't know why some people are allowed to breed or why some people like Asians and old people are allowed to drive. Maybe it's because God can be funny too! But I like to think it's because of the fact that these people never really got proper education with Wombats ( or how to maneuver cars for Asians )!





    You see, wombats are not like humans. Sure they are mammals like us and have bowel movements, and have dreams to one day be in the World Poker Series to play Texan hold em up Poker, and make threads about humans on forums ( like I jut did about Wombats ) but wombats are far more emotional and dedicated than some humans. Quick wombat facts:

    -Wombats are marsupials.

    -Wombats are native only to Australia, but sometimes sneak in airplane cargos and travel to Tennessee and Texas where they provide salvation for white trash and Mexicans.

    -Wombats look somewhat like a little bear.

    -There are two basic kinds of wombats, the Common wombat, and the Hairy-nosed wombat ( which is rumored to have Middle Eastern ancestry ).

    -Wombats are nocturnal grazers.

    -They eat mainly grasses and roots and sometimes human liver.

    -They live in large burrows up to 30 meters (100 feet) long.

    -Wombats are extremely strong and very proficient diggers.

    -Wombats can be anything from a sandy color to brown or black to grey.

    -The average wombat is about 1 meter (40 inches) long and weighs about 25 kg (55 pounds) and very easy for humans to carry them provided you don't want to carry babies. Babies become grown adults and you can't carry them, but wombats are forevar!

    -Wombats can live from about 5 years to over 25 years, that way, they are not a permanent burdern to you and will not outlive you, like children will ( sometimes, unless you the parent decide to sacrifice them to the Marlboro Gods).

    -Wombats are generally solitary.

    -Wombats do not smoke ( nor during their pregnancy ) or leave their kids in dumpsters.

    As you can deduce by now, people who have not been exposed to the love that wombats are, have never developed true caring, motherly instincts and altruism. These furry little altruistic cuddly creatures can perhaps provide some insight into the tragedy that is the human mind. People who have usually been known to lack common sense, or look like they should be attached to a slot machine, have usually been given wombats, instead of allowing to make their own babies, because then they wouldn't smoke or inhale lines of flour thinking its cocaine or get fisted during their pregnancy. That is why, more and more people are turning to wombats instead of making their own babies!



    Betty Ann Rooney was a chain smoking waitress who worked at a local pancake house serving mostly coffee since people didn't like to order pancakes after they saw where her hands had been and smelled her. A customer once exclaimed as a gesture of good will that she shouldn't have kids. Being the open minded person she is, she took the advice and adopted a wombat!



    Meet Charlie. Charlie used to have a wife and kid until one day they drove him mad about going to the Mormon Church and he killed them and ate them and sold the rest of their body parts on ebay! Since then he got a wombat and he has lived happily ever after since.



    This is Billy! Billy has an interesting story to tell. "I was going to have a baby sister but my mom was sniffing alot of Coca Cola through her rectum as well, so my potential sister decided not to come out as my parents told me, so then we got a wombat and its the best thing that evar happened to me. Even bullies at school don't bully me and want to pet my wombat!"

    So the moral is, get a phucking wombat you buck toothed white trash mother phuckers who can't have kids! WOMBATS FOR THE MASSES!
    Achkerov kute.

  • #2
    Obviously this is best read if read after reading the thread, Why are some people allowed to breed?!

    Achkerov kute.

    Comment


    • #3


      The tasmanian devil is possibly the coolest animal on any continent. Basicly a huge angry rat.

      Check out those choppers.
      Last edited by patlajan; 10-01-2004, 05:26 PM.

      Comment


      • #4
        OMGosh they are sooooo uglyy. YUCk..Im getting goosebumps..doubleeeee ewwwwwwwwww!!!!!!
        You can't hold a man down without staying down with him.

        Comment


        • #5
          mouse, if you came for a visit in my neck of the WOODS you'd be even more inspired to write about trailer trash! (they even have a radio program here called 'win trailer trash cash' it's like rick dee's in the morning but for rednecks! )

          i'll miss this place..someday!

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          • #6
            I hereby nominate, birdie, goey's pooping bird to be the animal of the week for the week of october fourth, two thousand and four.

            Cordially,


            'bruin

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by hyebruin
              I hereby nominate, birdie, goey's pooping bird to be the animal of the week for the week of october fourth, two thousand and four.

              Cordially,


              'bruin

              Hey Heyy He doesnt poop that much!
              You can't hold a man down without staying down with him.

              Comment


              • #8
                Eeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Wombats are sooooooooo cuuuuuuuuuuuute!!!!!
                "All I know is I'm not a Marxist." -Karl Marx

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by HyeJinx1984
                  Eeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Wombats are sooooooooo cuuuuuuuuuuuute!!!!!
                  the time has come that we put all our efforts together and hook up jinxie with a cuuuuuuuuuuute hotttttttttt girl!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    ...


                    ...


                    I'm down *shrugs*
                    "All I know is I'm not a Marxist." -Karl Marx

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