Where In The World Is Scott Baio?

[Anonymouse]

I was wondering, have any of you seen this man?

[Anonymouse]

I just saw a re-run of Charles in Charge on KDOC I think.

[sleuth]

screw him!!!

[Anonymouse]

Yea, but I hear he's making a come back from getting screwed.

[violette829]

I had the biggest crush on Charles back in the day. I remember Buddy too..Oh Budence Lembeck! He was hilarious! Actually, he was funny until I saw him in that movie, where he and that girl are stuck on the island...and end up screwing all day and night, as soon as he finds out why he has a b*ner LMAO! Now THAT was funny!!!

[ckBejug]

HE was the guy in The Blue Lagoon? With Brooke Shield? I like that movie. They don't have THAt much sex, sheesh.

Anyway, Scott Baio was a jerk and very unfriendly. I knew someone who worked with him and they said he was a big a**hole and a jerk.

[Anonymouse]

Where In The World Is Scott Baio?

No time in history has one question baffled historians, philosophers, Entertainment Tonight, and computer software companies more since the question of "Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?", than the question of "Where In The World Is Scott Baio?", a question recently proposed by both George W. Bush and John Kerry during the debates, and Al Qeada. Carmen Sandiego is little more than forgotten lore thanks to the all encompassing and mystifying presence Scott Baio exudes both on screen, in the re-runs of Charles in Charge and his frequent visits to the nth Annual Hollywood Christmas Parade off screen (which I watch religiously since I am a big fan of Scott Baio and Chrismas, since it is an important part of being a Christian to watch the Hollywood Christmas parade celebrating the birth of Christ with such beautiful pagan symbols such as the Christmass Tree and Santa and washed up Hollywood celebs who are mostly Jewish, except for Scott Baio!).



You may remember Scott Baio from his loveable performances as "Chachi" in Happy Days because back then people would actually be happy because Scott Baio was still around ( so were happy pills ), and we still didn't have Dr. Phil and everyone was happy and the world enjoyed a Golden Age of Peace ( except in the Middle East because it has oil and oil makes things slippery so people there are constantly bumping into each other due to the oily roads). After Scott Baio made some deal with Communist Jewish Nazi elves in Hollywood he was transported in a magic carpet stolen from a little Arab kid ( who most likely would grow up to be a suicide bomber/terrorist anyway, and HENCE HOW TERRORISM BEGAN BECAUSE THEY STOLE HIS MAGIC CARPET and a camel too!) from the oily Middle East, to play in another show Charles in Charge watching over some petty bourgoies kids who smoked crack and Charles' duty was to make sure that they didn't smoke crack, even though occasionally he smoked too, as you can see from the permanent bags under his eyes and his pale pasty white skin.



After Scott Baio's accomplishing and satisfying career, and many appearances in the Hollywood Xmas Parade, he has disappeared from the face of the earth and the world has embroiled itself in what appears to be yet another globally cataclysmic war ( hopefully the end of the world, even though we won't get to watch re-runs of Charles in Charge or Happy days ). See what happened when Scott Baio disappeared? It's not like Happy Days anymore. Senior researcher John Fitzgerald Bigelow from the Washingtin Institute of International Affairs speculates that the disappearance of Scott Baio created a global power vacuum in which competing warlords tried to assert their power. "You can see that in many parts of the globe, such as the North America, Asia, and the Middle East, powerful war lords such as George W. Bush, Osama bin Laden, and Kim Jong Ill stepped up to assert their power, after Scott Baio took a mysterious leave of absence", said Bigelow. Even the Catholic Church sent Church officials to Hollywood to see where Scott Baio went. to make sure the coast is clear to usher in the reign of New Holy Roman Empire.

Possible rumors of what Scott Baio is doing now are flooding the internet which was invented because a fan of Charles in Charge loved Scott Baio so much he decided to create a global network so Scott Baio fans can constantly communicate, post funny stuff, post pictures and make jokes about Scott Baio on forums, as well as possible scenarios of what he is doing ( the internet was NOT invented so the CIA can exchange secret information, that is the lie the government wants you to believe ).

One of the rumors of what Scott Baio is possibly up to now says that after his promising career in Hollywood, Scott Baio became an astronaut, and flew missions to the moon to visit Aliens to tell them about his stardom on earth, and to possibly star in an alien sitcom called Charles in Mars, which would be a sequel to Charles in Charge, and it would be broadcast not just in Mars, but galactically, so we here on earth can see it too! Word is Scott is in space as we speak and that he sent a satellite image from space with a minor joke.


"Hey everyone, it's Scott Baio. I'm in space. The earth is beautiful from up here. I see two things. Mt. Everest, and the Bush deficit".

Still then, another possible scenario is that Scott Baio, after a successful and yawn inspiring career in Hollywood, enrolled in the Woodrow Wilson School Of Public and International Relations (http://www.wws.princeton.edu/) since he wanted to run for President evar since he was a kid and once after shooting a Charles in Charge episode, he was interviewed by the NY Times and said, "It would be a dream come true for Charles to be in charge of the free world, and lead this country down toward its path of economic and social destruction." But the Bush White House fearing Charles' popularity, appointed him in charge of the new Iraqi government, in the oily Middle East, where he has acquired dictatorial powers, and prediocally steps out in the balcony ( like Fidel Castro ) and yells "Viva la revolucion!" and "Charles is in charge!". Here you can see him shaking hands with Dyck Cheney.


Wow, Scott Baio, I used to watch your show!

Yet another scenario circulating on the interweb is that Charles, err, I mean Scott Baio, went to Johns Hopkins Medical School, and became the "Dr. Mengele" for the Bush White House, working in secret ( which would explain his disappearance ), exchanging brooms for arms of captured terrorists, so they can never build a bomb again. This rumor delighted fans of Charles in Charge to see their former hero still goin at it, although it displeased the terrorists. Another rumor is that he is a gynecologist, and women form a line just to be examined by Scott Baio, because he was a famous thespian.


"Hey everyone Im Scott Baio. Baio rhymes with Mayo. HA HA HA!"

I think I speak for everyone when I say that just like 9/11 (never forget), this great Hollywood legend ( like Charles Bronson and Carl Weathers )


has changed the world forever, but in a good way instead. This extraordinary event has not only enriched the lives of the people directly affected by the Scott's disappearance, but also the whole world who followed the events unfolding on every TV network, and newspaper as the world looked and wondered, "Where In The World Is Scott Baio?". I would like to think that all the people at odds today, whether they be American, and Iraqi, Muslim, and Christian, or me and any of you wretched noobs that complain to the mods about me beaing mean, let's put aside our differences to join hands in awe of this great actor who once was and will never be.

=============================================

This thread is brought to you by Bob Villa

[Emil]

Wow, the things you think of.......

[Anonymouse]

Wow, the things you think of.......

Isn't wonderful how school gets one motivated?

Scott Baio, if you are reading this thread, please forgive me for making fun of you all the times I watched Charles in Charge. This is a tribute to you.

[Harut82]

your thread is too long. I don't feel like reading it.

p.s. nice avatar