Forgive or plot revenge?

[sSsflamesSs]

Linum e chi linum, mi axchik e linum. Here I go again, hehe.

Anyway, so there's this girl who has this dad who's a xxxx most of the time. He never spends any time with her, he loves money more than anything else (hence, he's a cheap ass), and he likes to hurt the little girl's mommy when he feels like it. He's a cold fish, it's impossible to get through to him. Throughout the years, the dad lost his respect as a result of his actions. Then, one day he decides that he's sick of taking care of/providing for his family and decides to go live alone, leaving behind a wife and two kids that can't even pay the rent. He claims that he is leaving because he does not have any respect in the house. Even though he doesn't betray his wife physically, he betrays her and the kids emotionally. So he lives like that for half a year, acting like he did nothing wrong. His family hates him for what he has done, yet he acts like the victim not understanding his own mistake.

Then out of the blue one day, he claims that he has become a changed man. He wants to move back in, but only if every member of the family is cool with it. The little girl has made it abundantly clear that she hates his guts, and that she doesn't consider him her dad anymore, which poses a slight problem for the dad. On the other hand, the girl's mom wants him back, because she has always loved him and wants a father for her children.

So, my question is, if you were in the little girl's shoes, what would you do? Treat him the way he treated you? Or be an angel and hope for happy times?

[jahannam]

come on Flames...
we don't know you.. you could tell us...
is the little girl YOU? :shock:
or is it your good friend or cousin??
and plus... our decision has a LOT to do with the "little girl's" age...
is she's over 18... she should get the hell out of that house!!

[sSsflamesSs]

OK, I'll play along with this.

Yes, J, you got me, you sly little bobble headed doll you. The little girl is me. So, does that answer your question, so you can provide an answer?

FYI I am 18+ years old, and no, leaving the house is not an answer in my mind - maybe for a selfish pig it would be.

[jahannam]

well... unless YOU're the one supporting your brother and mom.. I wouldn't see why that would be selfish.
I dunno about the details... but if my dad had left me during tough times... I would definitely NOT allow him to come back whenever he pleased!
again... I've never been in the situation, I just know that people, specially after a certain age, don't change!

[sSsflamesSs]

As for my personal answer in this given situation, my gut tells me not to forgive. It is a sensitive issue, where family values are at stake, so my decision to be vengeful might be viewed as peculiar by some.

Some people are more forgiving, they are easier to persuade, such as the mother in the situation. I am sure you can think of people like that in your own personal lives.

Others, like me, take things a lot more seriously and refuse to forgive and forget. It's not something that can be changed, for it is a part of one's own personality.

[fIReBuRntInHeLL]

OK, I'll play along with this.

Yes, J, you got me, you sly little bobble headed doll you. The little girl is me. So, does that answer your question, so you can provide an answer?

FYI I am 18+ years old, and no, leaving the house is not an answer in my mind - maybe for a selfish pig it would be.

OOh flames its really tough decision, but if i were you i dont think i would forgive someone who chose the money instead of the family.
if u think u need a dad than give a try, but if there is no respect anymore then i dont think that things will grow to the better---
everything is "broken" now, everything is changed...... so think very hardly and deeply how you feel about the situation, and then make up your mind! good luck dear

best wishes 8)

[sSsflamesSs]

well... unless YOU're the one supporting your brother and mom.. I wouldn't see why that would be selfish.
I dunno about the details... but if my dad had left me during tough times... I would definitely NOT allow him to come back whenever he pleased!
again... I've never been in the situation, I just know that people, specially after a certain age, don't change!

Even though you just said what I would've said, I want to see if there is some validity on the other side. After all, and I'm not a huge religious fanatic when I say this, but even one of the Ten Commandments is to "Honor thy father and thy mother".

[Anonymouse]

Yes Flames, I believe the man deserves a second chance. Doesn't anyone?

After all, if it doesn't prove to be true, then you can oust him for good. But I'm sure he cares for the family deep down, unconsciouslly, even though he may not have admitted it. Alot of the things that drive us to bitter ends stem from our own insecurities or short comings.

Asking any of us for advice, you will always get easy answers since none of us feel the emotional baggage as you do. So my answer is from my perspective, and unbiased. However you are free to weigh the options and make your own decision.

Best of luck to you.

[sSsflamesSs]

HAHAHA, you guys turned this into "The Pity Corner".

Tsk, tsk, tsk!

[fIReBuRntInHeLL]

we just wanted our little Flames to be happy!!! :twisted:
cheers kenatset AZIZ!