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  • Re: elegy

    May 1, 2010
    ************************************************** *
    FAILINGS
    **************************************
    “I am not a Marxist!” That's the smartest thing Marx said.
    As for capitalists being bloodsuckers: that has never been a secret. There is even a line to that effect in the Bible.
    Christ never said “I am not a Christian,” probably because he never thought of himself as the founder of a new religion.
    Speaking for myself: I am a human being first, an Armenian second, and an Armenianist, never!
    *
    Judging by the number of wars, revolutions, massacres, and genocides: a man is first and foremost a killing machine in search of a reason to justify his lust for blood – religion being one of them.
    *
    You are an honest man?
    Prove it!
    Show me your scars.
    *
    I repeat myself?
    Not as often as our Panchoonies and Jack S. Avanakians.
    *
    You want to know why I haven't been lynched so far? Because I live in the middle of nowhere, and nowhere is hard to locate on the map.
    *
    There are failings and there are rotten failings. Example of a rotten failing: the fundamental human right of free speech is an invention of the degenerate West.
    *
    Speaking of Oshagan and his friends, Zarian once remarked: “When they speak of homeland they mean Istanbul.” One could also say, when we speak of Armenianism, we mean Ottomanism.
    *
    Unlike doctors, writers don't have a Hippocratic Oath. As a result, they are as willing to sell their soul as a xxxxx is to sell her body. (I am now paraphrasing Zohrab.)
    *
    If Americans prefer to believe Turks rather than us, it may be because it is in their own interest to do so. The rule is, everyone does what's in his own best interest. But like all rules, this one too has its exception: namely, us. We do whatever we undertake to do because it is against our own self-interest.
    #

    Comment


    • Re: elegy

      May 2, 2010
      ************************************************** *
      FROM MY NOTEBOOKS
      **************************************
      There are good Armenians and there are bad Armenians, or so I am told.
      I am a bad Armenian because I hate myself and I hate Armenians, or so I am told.
      Rouben Mamoulian was a bad Armenian because he never helped a single Armenian. I once knew an Armenian conductor who, after inviting an Armenian pianist to play with his orchestra, said “Never again!”
      *
      Never again!
      Two words used by victims with the implication, “Unless we are the perps.”
      *
      Once when asked why I don't encourage young Armenian writers, I said “We need readers not writers.” No one dared to object.
      *
      One of the functions of lawyers is to defend the lawless.
      *
      When asked if I believe in God, I say, “I don't believe in the God of imams, popes,
      and televangelists.”
      It seems to me, speaking about God or trying to understand the inconceivable and the incomprehensible, is like trying to drink the sea with a spoon.
      *
      If you are an Armenian and have an opinion , you can always rely on a fellow Armenian to call you a fool and an ignoramus.
      *
      A safe assumption: Anything that flatters the ego is false.
      *
      When, at the turn of the last century, Turks heard Armenian Evangelicals singing "Onward Christian soldiers," they thought the giaours were planning another crusade.
      *
      If I took my critics seriously, I would have two instead of only one ulcer.
      *
      Good men don't judge bad men, because good men (if they exist) are too busy examining their own heart.
      *
      If an Armenian tells you he doesn't hate Turks, it may be because he loves to lie even more.
      *
      From a popular Armenian song:
      "An Armenian loves to eat (oudel)
      and he eats to hate (adel)."
      #

      Comment


      • Re: elegy

        May 3, 2010
        ************************************************** *
        CALL IT MEGALOMANIA
        **************************************
        My mission in life: to de-Ottomanize and to de-Stalinize my fellow Armenians; which amounts to saying: to humanize the dehumanized, to civilize barbarians, and to deprogram the brainwashed. Not an easy task. Which is why so far I have failed and the chances that I will ever succeed are as remote that they might as well be invisible to the most powerful telescope.
        *
        A LOVE STORY
        *****************************
        In a review of an Iranian novel mention is made of a classical Sufi love poem titled “KHOSROW AND SHIRIN, written nine centuries ago by Nizami and telling of the romance between a great Persian king and an Armenian princess.”
        *
        A SOLEMN PROMIZE
        ******************************
        On the day I will stop infuriating fools, fanatics, and fascists (but I repeat myself) I will give up writing.
        *
        PHYSICAL AND METAPHYSICAL REFLECTIONS
        ************************************************** *****
        What we don't know about the physical world or the visible universe far exceeds what we know. As for the metaphysical world – that which lies beyond the visible – we know nothing. Nothing! That doesn't stop us from blabbering endlessly about God, the Mother of God, the Son of God, the immortality of the soul, heaven and hell, and angels and devils.
        *
        CHARLATANS: A DEFINITION
        *********************************************
        Sermonizers and speechifiers who speak endlessly about things they know nothing about. Shaw is right: “All professions are conspiracies against the laity.”
        *
        TODAY'S QUOTATION
        ***********************************
        William McAdoo: “It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.”
        #

        Comment


        • Re: elegy

          May 4, 2010
          ************************************************** *
          THAT WHICH WE SHARE
          **************************************
          Our failings are universal, I am reminded once in a while by readers who are so afraid to confront their own failings that they adopt the school of thought that says “misery likes company.”
          There are divisions everywhere, granted; also corruption and incompetence, not to speak of prejudice and ignorance. But is that the end of the story?
          *
          In a book on the social behavior of animals, I read today: “The analysis of DNA demonstrates that only 2% of our genetic code differs from that of chimpanzees.”
          In some respects, animals may be ahead of us:
          “Female chimpanzees (unlike female humans) do not experience menopause, and thus can remain fertile into old age.”
          Elsewhere: “It is not so much that elephants are like us. They are us, and we them.”
          *
          We like to say that Naregatsi is our Shakespeare and Dante combined. But who reads Naregatsi? Not even Armenians. At least I have never heard an Armenian quote a single line by Naregatsi.
          *
          Armenians are a fraction of mankind in the same way that a day is a fraction of eternity.
          *
          “An Englishman cannot be a slave,” they sing in “Rule Britannia.”
          And what do we sing? “Mer hairenik, tshvar ander.”
          *
          About Armenians and slavery:
          “Once upon a time we were slaves. We are now slaves of former slaves.”
          We take to slavery like a duck takes to water, a baby to mother's milk, and newlyweds to their bed.
          Instead of being subservient to the Sultan, we are now subservient to our bosses, bishops, and benefactors. Progress cannot be said to be our most important product.
          *
          An autobiographical short story by an American writer begins with the words: “As one who works with words for a living...”
          An Armenian writer could introduce himself with the same words except one: instead of “living” he would have to say “dying.”
          #

          Comment


          • Re: elegy

            May 5, 2010
            ************************************************** *
            CONFESSIONS
            **************************************
            In the Homeland, our elections are marred by irregularities, or so I am told by observers. In the diaspora, we have no elections. We must therefore conclude that our representatives represent no one but themselves and their respective mafias. As for our so called democracy, respect for human rights, and rule of law: they are nothing but fictions of our imagination.
            We have been so thoroughly Ottomanized and Sovietized that we consider these aberrations business as usual.
            When will we see the light?
            It is said of blind men that when their sight is restored, they take refuge in dark rooms.
            *
            To refuse to flatter fools is not the same as being negative.
            *
            Heroes are like cops: they are never there when you need them.
            *
            We flatter ourselves when we say the world, or a fraction of it, is against us. The truth is much worse, as always. The world is for itself and we may not even register on its consciousness. It would be even more accurate to say that the world cares about us as much as we care about ourselves.
            *
            Unlike Turks we are good at picking fights we can't win. Several of our poets have even addressed some nasty words against the Good Lord Himself. At this point I don't mind admitting that, by picking a fight against our bosses, bishops, benefactors and their army of hirelings, flunkies, dupes and brown-nosers, I too have picked a fight I can't win, and I have thus joined the ranks of my ancestors as a perennial loser.
            #

            Comment


            • Re: elegy

              May 6, 2010
              ************************************************** *
              WITNESSES FOR THE PROSECUTION
              ************************************************** **
              Our history keeps unfolding like a worst case scenario.
              And what has been the contribution of our leadership to this fiasco?
              Treason, betrayal, and collaboration with the enemy.
              And the contribution of our historians?
              Lies and propaganda.
              We are a people like any other people, we are told.
              To which I can only say:
              When was the last time we beheaded a single king or boss?
              Am I advocating public executions?
              Hell no! Only pointing out a difference.
              But enough about what I think. Allow me to introduce my witnesses:
              *
              Shavarsh Missakian on our degeneration:
              “The Armenian Diaspora is losing its character. Our language, our literature, and our traditions are degenerating. Even our religious leaders have abandoned their calling and turned into cunning wheeler-dealers. Our press thrives on meaningless controversies. I see charlatanism and cheap chauvinism everywhere but not a single trace of self-sacrifice and dedication to principles and ideals. What's happening to us? Where are we heading? Quo vadis, O Armenian people?”
              *
              Levon Pashalian on our bosses:
              “A familiar figure in our collective existence is the wealthy and arrogant community leader who, by obstructing the path of all those who wish to reform and improve our conditions, perpetuates a status quo whose sole aim is his own personal profit and aggrandizement.”
              *
              Philip Mansel on massacres:
              “Some Armenian leaders hoped for a massacre in the belief that it would provoke the intervention of the Great Powers.”
              *
              Shirvanzadeh on our ghazetajis:
              “The narrow partisan propaganda line that is espoused by our press is the enemy of all literature.”
              *
              Nigoghos Sarafian:
              “Our history is a litany of lamentation, anxiety, horror, and slaughter. Also deception and abysmal naiveté mixed with the smoke of incense and the sound of sharagans.”
              *
              Derenik Saribekian on collaboration with the enemy:
              “It is safer to defend the interests of wolves against sheep than the other way around.”
              *
              Nothing further, your Honor!
              #

              Comment


              • Re: elegy

                May 7, 2010
                ************************************************** *
                DECLINE AND FALL
                ************************************************
                What makes strong nations weak?
                Corruption, incompetence, divisions, and internecine conflicts.
                What makes weak nations weaker?
                Ditto.
                Knowing this why do we allow our leaders to divide us.
                Because they are more like wolves and we are more like sheep.
                *
                About corruption: is there anything we can do about it?
                We begin by exposing it. Not an easy undertaking.
                Why not?
                Because the corrupt don't like to be exposed, and the incompetent will never admit their incompetence. Those in power will never give it up without a bloody fight, Hegel tells us, and so it is. Consider the number of emperors, kings, and czars that were assassinated or beheaded. But even more to the point, consider the number of thinkers who were silenced, exiled, and executed.
                *
                If I speak of our many problems but don't provide a single solution (as my critics are fond of saying) it may be because I write for readers who are brainwashed to believe we are in the best of hands and we never had it so good. As for readers who tell me they know all about our problems but what they need is solutions, I say: We can't abracadabra our way out of our problems, and there are no verbal formulas or programs with numbered steps that will reform our leaders, who expect us to believe they are doing their best and if their best is not good enough it is because we are all at the mercy of historical, cultural, political, and environmental conditions beyond our control.
                And if you believe that, you will believe anything!
                #

                Comment


                • Re: elegy

                  May 8, 2010
                  ************************************************** *
                  ON HISTORIANS
                  ************************************************
                  Herodotus, the“father of history,” is also known as the “father of lies.” Ever since then historians have called one another liars. Two of the greatest historians of the last century, Arnold J. Toynbee and Oswald Spengler, have attracted more critical fire and verbal abuse by fellow historians than any other historian dead or alive. For more on this subject, see Toynbee's STUDY OF HISTORY,volume 12, subtitled RECONSIDERATIONS, where he discusses and replies to his critics, one of whom – Hugh Trevor-Roper, a fellow Englishman – was so abusive that reading him, Toynbee writes in a footnote, was like being verbally electrocuted.
                  *
                  We are products not of our culture, religion, climate, and environment, but of our collective experiences, that is to say, our history, or rather, the lies of our historians, which have done more to shape our worldview and character than reality and truth, or our literature and culture, of which the average Armenian knows nothing and cares even less – unless of course you classify shish-kebab and pilaf under culture.
                  *
                  My human right of free speech has been violated unanimously by our publishers and editors and I can't think of a single reader, writer, academic or vodanavorji who has raised a single objection. I have been reduced to the status of an abominable no man all because I refuse to recycle the lies of our historians or to flatter the colossal egos of our leaders.
                  *
                  To those who accuse me of being a denialist, I suggest they read my ARMENIAN GENOCIDE AND THE WEST.
                  *
                  You want to prosper in our environment?
                  Lie!
                  *
                  To those who say I am not published in our press because I am a bad writer, I say: I could make a long list of far better writers than myself who not only were silenced but also betrayed, exiled or executed. And if you say, since I have not been exiled or shot, it means we are moving in the right direction, I say, I am not exiled because I live in self-imposed exile in the middle of nowhere, which I call “my Siberia.” And the only reason I have not been betrayed and shot is that I have done nothing against the laws of the land, namely Canada, which is a democracy, and in a democracy writers don't get shot for exercising their human rights.
                  As I have said before and it bears repeating: Progress is not our most important product.
                  #

                  Comment


                  • Re: elegy

                    May 9, 2010
                    ************************************************** *
                    TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT
                    ************************************************
                    Just because something happens, it does not mean it is God's will.
                    God has given us a brain and if we don't use it, we can't blame our blunders on God or, for that matter, on the Devil.
                    But the blame-game is the favorite sport of all losers, and we are no exception.
                    *
                    “Turks, Turks, Turks,” say our leaders; never “the buck stops here.”
                    *
                    To say we need solutions is to imply that our literature is a waste of time – a convenient line with which to suppress dissent or anyone who refuses to flatter our ego.
                    *
                    We are not as good as we think we, Naregatsi tells us. We may even be worse than we like to admit. Which may explain why Naregatsi is our greatest and least read writer.
                    *
                    If you want the truth, give up all hope for flattery.
                    *
                    Where there are divisions, there will also be dupes who are easily taken in by false arguments.
                    *
                    Nice Armenians exist, but only in Saroyan, who was himself far from nice, or so we are told by his wife and son in their memoirs.
                    *
                    There is no money in dissent, hence the scarcity of dissenters.
                    There is money in flattery, hence the abundance of brown-nosers.
                    *
                    A victim who collaborates with his victimizer ceases to be a victim.
                    #

                    Comment


                    • Re: elegy

                      May 10, 2010
                      ************************************************** *
                      AS OTHERS SEE US
                      ************************************************
                      We have friends. So do Turks. In a review of Norman Stone's THE ATLANTIC AND ITS ENEMIES, I read: “...he (Norman Stone) has become a passionate advocate for Turkey against a very powerful Armenian diaspora.” (THE SPECTATOR, 24 April 2010, page 32.)
                      I suspect what is meant here is not that we are powerful but that we have some mighty powerful arguments in our favor.
                      *
                      To cover up a scandal or a lie may be easy, but to cover up a million corpses is much more difficult. The Turks say the corpses are not Armenian but Turkish. What they ignore is the fact that you cannot bury a million bodies in the middle of a desert where no battle was fought.
                      A very powerful Armenian diaspora?
                      Don't make me laugh!
                      *
                      In the same issue of THE SPECTATOR I also read the following: “...the real abuse by Roman Catholic priests may not be the groping of child bodies but priestly subversion of child minds.”
                      I agree! Brainwashing is as serious a crime as sexual molestation of defenseless boys and girls.
                      Organized religions compound their felonies by
                      (one) asserting infallibility, and
                      (two) by legitimizing intolerance.
                      *
                      Thucydides: “The strong do what they will and the weak suffer what they must.”
                      By dividing themselves and engaging in endless internecine conflicts, the ancient Greeks and contemporaries of Thucydides fell prey to Macedonians, Romans, and Ottoman Turks. And very much like us, they continue to divide themselves today. And again like us, they continue to find themselves at the mercy of powers beyond their control.
                      *
                      Philip Pullman: “Wisdom works secretly and quietly, not in the great courts and palaces of the earth, but among ordinary people.”
                      #

                      Comment

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