notes / comments

[Armenian]

Re: notes / comments

My own sources tell me Talaat was part Armenian.

My own sources from Canada tell me that you are clinically insane.

And let me ask you a question...

Is this the seat you produce with your "intellectual" crap?

[arabaliozian]

Re: notes / comments

Wednesday, August 29, 2007
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THE SECRET OF MY POPULARITY
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Peter de Vries: “Everybody hates me because I’m so universally liked.”
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“If you think you can do better, why don’t you get involved in community affairs?” I am told once in a while.
Because in an authoritarian environment yes-man have a better chance to be influential than critics. Stalin did not invite Solzhenitsyn to the Kremlin; he bundled him off to the Gulag.
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Deep down somewhere we all want to know what’s wrong with us. We may not like it when we are told, we may even hate those who take it upon themselves to tell us, but we want to know because our ego is our most valuable possession.
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Nothing can be as menacing to those who live in a world of illusions than talk of reality.
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We pretend to be against denialists but we engage in denialism when it comes to our failings, of which we have our share. To say otherwise is to speak as an idiot.
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An idiot holding forth on patriotism or any other noble-sounding ism is still an idiot.
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[arabaliozian]

Re: notes / comments

Tuesday, August 28, 2007
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HITLER AND I
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“Hitler was a xxx,” a reader writes; “his passport says so.” Maybe so am I. On more than one occasion I have stated that on a good day I can trace my ancestry all the way back to my father. I am told some Armenians are so eager to identify themselves as pure-blooded Armenians that they trace their ancestry all the way back to the Mamikonians (of Chinese descent) and Bagratunis (xxxish). No one chooses his nationality. You and I could just as easily have been born on the other side of the mountain or river. Not that I give a damn one way or the other. Races, colors, creeds, nations and tribes – I consider them all bad news. Identify yourself with one of them and you inherit nothing but grief, feuds, and enemies, some among your own kind. If you were to try settling scores with all of them, you would either end up as a serial killer or a victim – the quintessential “esh nahadag” (jackass martyr). In that sense, national identity is not an asset but a liability, a burden, and a curse. The pure-blooded Armenian is as much a myth as the pure-blooded Turk, Greek, American, or Gypsy. Anyone who says otherwise is out to manipulate you to do his dirty work for him – just like the neocons in Washington today. And speaking of jackasses and our own Jack S. Avanakians who speechify and editorialize on nationalism and unsettled scores: I read the following apposite quotation from Konrad Lorentz in our paper this morning: “The long sought missing link between animals and really humane beings is ourselves.” A final note on Hitler’s passport: I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out to be a fake, just like Lord Byron’s pen in the museum of San Lazzaro.
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[arabaliozian]

Re: notes / comments

Monday, August 27, 2007
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A RULE WITHOUT EXCEPTIONS
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The louder they speechify on patriotism the phonier they are. All rules have exceptions, except this one. You want proof? I’ll give you two: Adolf (Deutschland ueber alles) Hitler, Iosif (Patriotic War) Stalin, and King Kong.
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CURSES
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Do you want to curse an Armenian and you can’t come up with a good one that does justice to the situation? How about this? “May your son (or daughter) be a writer,” or “May s/he be educated enough to think for herself/himself.” Or “May s/he rate honesty as the queen of virtues and the king of assets!” These may not sound like curses, but take my word for it, they are the kind of beauties you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy.
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HAVE YOU HEARD THIS ONE?
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A guy gets splattered by a passing bird, looks up and says, “For the rich you sing.”
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SPEAKING OF DUMPING
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The easiest way to assert superiority is to dump on your betters. Only one drawback: it never works; it may even backfire.
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[arabaliozian]

Re: notes / comments

Sunday, August 26, 2007
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ANTI-SEMITISM AND US
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Anti-Semites are everywhere, including Armenians, and yes, including xxxs. Once in a while we are reminded that Talaat was part xxxish, the implication being that it is the xxx in him that must be held responsible for the Genocide (a theory that would be more than welcome to the perps). My own sources tell me Talaat was part Armenian. So was the Red Sultan. What does that prove? Only one thing, that all men are brothers, like Cain and Abel. They may preach brotherhood but they prefer to practice Cain-Abelism, sometimes even cannibalism; and what is cannibalism if not another form of assimilation and recycling? It is wrong to assign guilt to races and nations because it may alienate potential allies, supporters, and friends, who come in all sizes and shapes, also races, colors and creeds – including xxxs, Turks, and fantastic as this may seem, Armenians.
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[arabaliozian]

Re: notes / comments

Saturday, August 25, 2007
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FROM MY NOTEBOOKS
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If I were to say I am better than you, not only you wouldn’t believe me, you would also be justified to dismiss me as a self-satisfied ass. Remember that next time you think of performing your first-nation-this and first-nation-that routine to an odar.
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We fought a war against the Persians and their elephants in defense of our faith? That’s 1500 years ago. Since then we have learned to adapt and compromise. Under the Soviets we were the first nation to convert to atheism. How about that? Another first for us!
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Armenianism and objectivity seem to be mutually exclusive concepts. Whenever I make an honest effort to deliver an objective assessment, I am assailed by a chorus of screaming Apaches on the warpath, followed by a contingent of yataghan-brandishing Janissaries.
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May I remind those who use the word philosophy as if it were synonymous with mental masturbation, that the alternative to philosophy is philo-inbred-moronism.
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What’s the use of having two or three answers to every question if they are all wrong or so full of holes that they convince no one?
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I am accused of being consistently negative. Once upon a time I knew many stories that ended with “three apples fell from heaven,” and “they lived happily ever after,” but I have forgotten them all. My repertoire now consists of only one or two Nasredin Hoja stories that I have already told more than once. The best I can do today is this: Shortly before he died at the age of 91, Sibelius said: “All the doctors who wanted to forbid me to smoke and to drink are dead.”
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[arabaliozian]

Re: notes / comments

Friday, August 24, 2007
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SELF-ANALYSIS
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We don’t know who we are. We may know what others think of us. We may even know what we think of ourselves. But that doesn’t even cover the tip of the iceberg – only a fraction of its shadow. Freud, Jung, Adler & Co. may disagree on many things, but they are unanimous on this point. We are full of contradictions. There is a Jekyll and Hyde in all of us. We rule over a kingdom that is terra incognita.
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I can tell how good an Armenian is by the frequency with which he uses the words “Yes, sir!” If an Armenian disagrees with me on one thing, such as the placement of commas or semicolons, he is bound to disagree with me on many other things. An Armenian who disagrees with me might as well be a Turk, and the only good Turk is a dead Turk. If you dare to disagree with me on this point, I shall have no choice but to accuse you of insulting the nation.
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In life, questions outnumber answers. Case in point: If they are bloodthirsty savages, why did they wait for 600 years to slaughter us?
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In a commentary in our local daily today I read: “Even superpowers need friends.” Judging by the number of our internecine squabbles and tsunamis in a teacup, we behave as though we were invincible giants among gutless midgets. Heroes among zeroes. A Hercules among yellow-bellies! Hercules -- Iraklis in Greek, Hergele in Turkish -- hergele (with a lower case “h”) also means an oversized hoodlum in Turkish. Transplant a hero and you get a zero. Another symptom of the Jekyll/Hyde syndrome.
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The shortest list in the world? Wars we have won.
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[arabaliozian]

Re: notes / comments

Thursday, August 23, 2007
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QUESTIONS / ANSWERS
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You don’t always reply to your critics. Why not?
I don’t always read them.
Why don’t you?
One reason, they are unreadable.
What’s another?
A diarrhea of words and a constipation of ideas – to put it as elegantly as I can.
That’s what they say about your stuff…or words to that effect.
They don’t mean it. If they meant it they wouldn’t read me. I think they read me because they find me irresistible. And they find me irresistible because I speak about them.
They say the only reason they read and criticize you is that they don’t want young readers to be taken in by your anti-Armenian tirades.
What have I done to deserve such dedicated and selfless specimens of humanity?
You don’t believe them?
I have every reason to suspect they don’t believe it themselves.
Some say you are motivated by bitterness, rage, and disappointment because you have been neglected and ignored by your fellow Armenians.
Nothing new in that. It has been the fate of our writers to be ignored and neglected, sometimes even silenced, starved, and betrayed by their fellow Armenians.
Betrayed? What do you mean betrayed?
I meant betrayed to the enemy. Both Talaat’s and Stalin’s victims, two generations of our ablest writers, were betrayed by their fellow Armenians.
There are those who say you flatter yourself if you think you qualify as a writer.
In the eyes of commissars of culture no writer ever does; and judging by the number of readers who keep telling me what and how to write, we have become a nation whose commissars outnumber its writers. I said nation. Strike that. Make it, collection of tribes.
Any concluding remarks or advice for your critics?
Critics: I wish I had them.
What would you call them?
Kibitzers would be a euphemism.
Okay, any final words?
Whenever they feel the urge to read and comment on my things, they should slice a watermelon.
Slice a watermelon? Is that what you sad? But why?
They tell me it’s a good substitute for slaughter, and slaughter is never too far from an Armenian’s mind.
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[arabaliozian]

Re: notes / comments

Wednesday, August 22, 2007
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QUESTIONS I ASK MYSELF
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Whenever an Armenian feels like slaying dragons, he visits an Armenian discussion forum on the Internet and verbally assaults anyone who disagrees with him, and makes it sound as if an Armenian disagreeing with a fellow Armenian were an outrageous scandal and an unheard of thing rather than business as usual.
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Why do dogs fight?
For the same reason that Armenians do.
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Why do Armenians fight?
That’s a question for our Armenologists.
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How come dog fighting is against the law but war is not?
That’s a question for our pundits.
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It has been said that an Armenian will extend a helping hand when you are down, and when you are up he will send you right back into the gutter with a kick. True or false?
True. I have met both kinds. There are no statistics but I would guess the kickers outnumber their counterparts.
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Why is it that some Armenians get more worked up about a scribbler’s opinions than about what’s being done to them by frauds parading as men of god and statesmen of vision?
Because they have either assessed themselves as men of god or statesmen of vision. Either that or they are the offspring of bishops or former commissars.
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[zourna]

Re: notes / comments

speaking of history:
some of the most influential and admirable men in the history of mankind -- Socrates, Jesus, Gandhi -- were selfless; and some of the worst criminals-- Nero, Hitler, Stalin, Talaat -- were the opposite.
selfishness is not something that should be encouraged because we are all naturally selfish. / ara

I wouldn't know! how would you, by the way?

Tuesday, August 21, 2007
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ELEMENTARY, MY DEAR WATSON
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Moderates have a far better chance to develop a consensus than their counterparts. If consensus has so far eluded us it’s because we have been at the mercy of tribal bottom-feeders and incurable dunderheads who, even as they speechify on survival, plot our downfall. This much said, I don’t expect our bottom-feeding dunderheads to acknowledge this fundamental and self-evident fact.
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That stings, egghead!
“Suffer me that I may speak; and after that I have spoken, mock on.” That's Jesus there... Keep up the good work!