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Favorite Books of the Bible

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  • #1

    Favorite Books of the Bible

    Not surprisingly they all come from the Old Testament, Old Testament God not being the forgiving pansy he becomes after they banged his son into that stick.

    My favorite the Book of Esther

    Simply put this book kicks ass. There is sex, violence, retribution, intrigue in the royal courts, retribution and revenge. Mordechai is certainly the Bibles first pimp and con man. Let me explain:

    King Ahaserus of Persia one day felt like a peice of ass, so he calls for his wife Vashti. Vashti said no soap so he dumped her and got an idea to run a beauty pageant in Persia and all of its 127 provinces (By the way the Jews were mostly living in Persia at this time) to find his new wife. In comes Mordechai, he is taking care of his dead uncles girl named Esther (aka Hadassah) and shes no yenta let me tell you what, shes stacked and a looker. So she enters and manages to win and becomes the new Queen of Persia. Only one thing, Ahaserus doesn`t know shes Jewish. So with Esther installed as the queen Mordechai starts taking up a vigil at the gates of the King. Now the King has this Prime Minister/Advisor named Haman, a real nasty fella. And Mordechai just will not bow his head to him. And this really burned him, really pissed him off. So gets this idea to not only hang Mordechai but to get back at all the Jews. Of course Esther and Mordechai cant stand for that so Esther gets to work screwing the Kings royal head off every night and bam. Haman is dead in Mordechais place and the Jews were allowed to kill anyone who had ever xxxxed with them. Right then and there almost all of Persia became Jews on the spot but even then the Jews killed 7,000 of their enemies.

    Now does that not rock or what?
    Achkerov kute.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    err, thats 75,000.
    Achkerov kute.

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    • #3
      **YAWN**

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      • #4
        lol, you sound like one of those Jehovah's witnesses who pass around and try to convert kids by making religion fun.

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        • #5
          Pattle jan, I don't remember you ever making a thread here so perhaps that could be part of the reason for the forums decadence.

          If you don't like my threads, please make your own.

          Baron...this was mostly just to get us involved in the fun stories of the Bible, nothing to do with Jehewish Witnesses.

          And come on...all in all, Jesus was a pretty nice guy.

          Oh yeah one more thing about why I like Esther. According to Jewish law you`re not supposed to get married to a goy or a shiksa. But you never see anyone complaining about this. Convenient Id say.
          Achkerov kute.

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          • #6
            sad to say but i know practically nada when it comes to religion :?

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            • #7
              I suggest you learn more about religion. Like read the New Testament. Better yet read Revelations. Revalations is the exception to the New Testament rule of "everyone be nice". But once they start tattoing barcodes on everyone or implanting ID chips in you that right there is the mark of the beast. Id be getting in my 4x4 and heading to the montagnes if I was you patnah.
              Achkerov kute.

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              • #8
                Now, I know this thread was like a million years ago, but I had to post. Who really cares, no one really posted the last time. So it wont matter now.

                This semester I’m taking a Bible class and I’m even more interested in it then I was before.

                Well, to answer Anony’s question my favorite book is Corinthians. Well let me add I love both books. I love both letters from Paul to the Corinthians. The reason why I love them is because in the First Corinthians, it talks about unity and how Paul uses the human body as a metaphor to describe the church as the “body of Christ.” And when Paul talks about love, but most importantly self-giving love.

                Now let me add my favorite line in 1 Corinthians 13:4
                “Love is patient; love is kind; love is no envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

                Now this it doesn’t matter what kind of love it is talking about. But when I read that I knew it was talking about every kind of love there is.
                You can't hold a man down without staying down with him.

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                • #9
                  Nothing will ever beat Leviticus. It doesn't matter what you do, you're getting stoned to death. Now that's my kind of God.

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                  • #10
                    By far, I find the Gospel of St. John to be the most enlightening of the biblical writings. It conveys, as I see things, the essense of what Jesus not only taught -- but also what he 'was' in terms of an archetype as 'The New Adam' and making this 'new life' available to all, though it certainly appears that only 'certain types' of people have historically responded to this message. Taking this a bit further, this Gospel really brings out the threefold nature of 'God' as it relates to not only Himself, but us as well -- separation being an illusion, of course: God 'above' us. God 'with' us. God 'in' us.

                    I find the majority of the Old Testament to be the epitome of a world-centered ontology, which ultimately explains the mentality of those who rejected Christ, His message, and His 'work', so to speak. The OT seems to be preparatory for the New, and might be seen as a developmental course each of us goes through as we realize the futility of attempting to build an Earthly, material-centered and based 'kingdom' -- given that everything in the manifested universe is not only subject to entropy and dissolution at every level of creation, but also cannot be reduced to our understanding of the present transitory identity we each have 'in this life' or a piece of 'holy land' land where we will 'rule' ourselves and everyone else. The Kingdom is 'within'.

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