Not surprisingly they all come from the Old Testament, Old Testament God not being the forgiving pansy he becomes after they banged his son into that stick.
My favorite the Book of Esther
Simply put this book kicks ass. There is sex, violence, retribution, intrigue in the royal courts, retribution and revenge. Mordechai is certainly the Bibles first pimp and con man. Let me explain:
King Ahaserus of Persia one day felt like a peice of ass, so he calls for his wife Vashti. Vashti said no soap so he dumped her and got an idea to run a beauty pageant in Persia and all of its 127 provinces (By the way the Jews were mostly living in Persia at this time) to find his new wife. In comes Mordechai, he is taking care of his dead uncles girl named Esther (aka Hadassah) and shes no yenta let me tell you what, shes stacked and a looker. So she enters and manages to win and becomes the new Queen of Persia. Only one thing, Ahaserus doesn`t know shes Jewish. So with Esther installed as the queen Mordechai starts taking up a vigil at the gates of the King. Now the King has this Prime Minister/Advisor named Haman, a real nasty fella. And Mordechai just will not bow his head to him. And this really burned him, really pissed him off. So gets this idea to not only hang Mordechai but to get back at all the Jews. Of course Esther and Mordechai cant stand for that so Esther gets to work screwing the Kings royal head off every night and bam. Haman is dead in Mordechais place and the Jews were allowed to kill anyone who had ever xxxxed with them. Right then and there almost all of Persia became Jews on the spot but even then the Jews killed 7,000 of their enemies.
Now does that not rock or what?
My favorite the Book of Esther
Simply put this book kicks ass. There is sex, violence, retribution, intrigue in the royal courts, retribution and revenge. Mordechai is certainly the Bibles first pimp and con man. Let me explain:
King Ahaserus of Persia one day felt like a peice of ass, so he calls for his wife Vashti. Vashti said no soap so he dumped her and got an idea to run a beauty pageant in Persia and all of its 127 provinces (By the way the Jews were mostly living in Persia at this time) to find his new wife. In comes Mordechai, he is taking care of his dead uncles girl named Esther (aka Hadassah) and shes no yenta let me tell you what, shes stacked and a looker. So she enters and manages to win and becomes the new Queen of Persia. Only one thing, Ahaserus doesn`t know shes Jewish. So with Esther installed as the queen Mordechai starts taking up a vigil at the gates of the King. Now the King has this Prime Minister/Advisor named Haman, a real nasty fella. And Mordechai just will not bow his head to him. And this really burned him, really pissed him off. So gets this idea to not only hang Mordechai but to get back at all the Jews. Of course Esther and Mordechai cant stand for that so Esther gets to work screwing the Kings royal head off every night and bam. Haman is dead in Mordechais place and the Jews were allowed to kill anyone who had ever xxxxed with them. Right then and there almost all of Persia became Jews on the spot but even then the Jews killed 7,000 of their enemies.
Now does that not rock or what?
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