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Up north one morning
A man wakes up to find a bear on his roof
So he looked in the yellow pages , and sure enough
There was an ad for " up north bear removers "
He called the number , and the bear remover said he'd be right over
The bear remover arrived and got out of his van
He had a ladder , a baseball bat , a 12 gauge shotgun , and a mean looking , heavily scarred old pit bull dog
What are you going to do ? asked the homeowner
I'm going to put the ladder up against the roof
Then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat
When the bear falls off the roof , the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go
The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van
He then handed the shotgun to the homeowner
What's the shotgun for ? the homeowner asked
If the bear knocks ME off the roof , you shoot the dog
A man wakes up to find a bear on his roof
So he looked in the yellow pages , and sure enough
There was an ad for " up north bear removers "
He called the number , and the bear remover said he'd be right over
The bear remover arrived and got out of his van
He had a ladder , a baseball bat , a 12 gauge shotgun , and a mean looking , heavily scarred old pit bull dog
What are you going to do ? asked the homeowner
I'm going to put the ladder up against the roof
Then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat
When the bear falls off the roof , the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go
The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van
He then handed the shotgun to the homeowner
What's the shotgun for ? the homeowner asked
If the bear knocks ME off the roof , you shoot the dog
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