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Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I
have your national ID number?"
Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."
Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"
Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh,
it's 6102049998-45-54610."
Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at
1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's
494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln
Insurance is 745-2302, and your cell number's
266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?"
Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this
information?"
Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."
Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a
couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas."
Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that
you've got very high blood pressure and extremely
high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider
won't allow such an unhealthy choice."
Customer: "What do you recommend, then?"
Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza.
I'm sure you'll like it."
Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something
like that?"
Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean
Recipes' from your local library last week, sir.
That's why I made the suggestion."
Customer: "All right, all right . Give me two
family-sized ones, then."
Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife
and your four kids, sir. Your total is $49.99."
Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have
to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its
limit."
Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some
cash before your driver gets here."
Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your
checking account's overdrawn."
Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll
have the cash ready. How long will it take?"
Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll
be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you
might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting
the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be
a little awkward."
Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a
bike?"
Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your
car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your
Harley's paid up.
Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"
Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir.
You've already got a July 2006 conviction for
cussing out a cop."
Customer: (Speechless)
Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter
of Coke".
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary
clause prevents us from offering free soda to
diabetics."
have your national ID number?"
Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."
Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"
Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh,
it's 6102049998-45-54610."
Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at
1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's
494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln
Insurance is 745-2302, and your cell number's
266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?"
Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this
information?"
Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."
Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a
couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas."
Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that
you've got very high blood pressure and extremely
high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider
won't allow such an unhealthy choice."
Customer: "What do you recommend, then?"
Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza.
I'm sure you'll like it."
Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something
like that?"
Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean
Recipes' from your local library last week, sir.
That's why I made the suggestion."
Customer: "All right, all right . Give me two
family-sized ones, then."
Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife
and your four kids, sir. Your total is $49.99."
Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have
to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its
limit."
Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some
cash before your driver gets here."
Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your
checking account's overdrawn."
Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll
have the cash ready. How long will it take?"
Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll
be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you
might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting
the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be
a little awkward."
Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a
bike?"
Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your
car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your
Harley's paid up.
Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"
Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir.
You've already got a July 2006 conviction for
cussing out a cop."
Customer: (Speechless)
Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter
of Coke".
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary
clause prevents us from offering free soda to
diabetics."
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