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Good airline gate attendant

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  • #1

    Good airline gate attendant

    Virgin Airlines gate attendant in Sydney when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo....

    A crowded Virgin flight was cancelled after Virgin's 767s had been withdrawn from service. A single attendant was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travellers.

    Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it HAS to be FIRST CLASS".

    The attendant replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these people first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."

    The passenger was unimpressed.

    He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"

    Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public address microphone: "May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please," she began - her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal.

    "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14."

    With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the Virgin attendant, gritted his teeth and said, "xxxx You!"

    Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that too."
    The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald
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  • #2
    That was excellent. I wish I knew I would be that coolheaded if in such a situation.

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    • #3
      Another good comeback...

      A professor was telling his class about his attendence policy: "test's cannot be made up unless prior arangements have been made with me or you have some sort of illness", she said.

      Some dumbass in the back of the class decided he was going to be stupid, and he asked, "what about if I'm suffering from total, extreme sexual exhaustion from the night before?"

      The professor thought for a moment, then replied, "well, you'll just have to use your left hand to write".
      The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald

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      • #4
        Hahaha, very efficient woman...

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        • #5
          Ever heard of the term paper that was due regarding the question "What is courage?" and a students entire term paper was "This is"?

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          • #6
            Yeah.. I've heard the "risk" version of it.

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            • #7
              Yeah. I heard the risk one. Supposedly he got an A?

              And then there is the one where the student doesn't stop writing after the TA calls time on a final. So the TA says he won't accept it anymore. The student asks 'do you know who I am??' And the TA says 'nope, and frankly I don't care!' At which point the student sticks his test in a pile of exams and runs off. HahahaHA!
              The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald

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              • #8
                And then there is this one....

                In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen which gives the sperm all the energy for their journey.

                A female freshman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar, in semen?"

                "That's correct," responded the professor, going on to add statistical info.

                Without thinking she replied, "then why doesn't it taste sweet?"

                After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing. The poor girl's face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said, (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of class...

                As she was going out the door, she heard the professor's reply:

                Totally straight-faced, he answered her question.

                "It doesn't taste sweet because the taste buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not the back of your throat. Have a good day."

                AHHHHHHHHHHH lol
                The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald

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                • #9
                  Oh no. That truely sucketh. Poor child.

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                  • #10
                    Hahahaha I liked the last one, bejug. That was great.

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