Announcement

Collapse

Forum Rules (Everyone Must Read!!!)

1] What you CAN NOT post.

You agree, through your use of this service, that you will not use this forum to post any material which is:
- abusive
- vulgar
- hateful
- harassing
- personal attacks
- obscene

You also may not:
- post images that are too large (max is 500*500px)
- post any copyrighted material unless the copyright is owned by you or cited properly.
- post in UPPER CASE, which is considered yelling
- post messages which insult the Armenians, Armenian culture, traditions, etc
- post racist or other intentionally insensitive material that insults or attacks another culture (including Turks)

The Ankap thread is excluded from the strict rules because that place is more relaxed and you can vent and engage in light insults and humor. Notice it's not a blank ticket, but just a place to vent. If you go into the Ankap thread, you enter at your own risk of being clowned on.
What you PROBABLY SHOULD NOT post...
Do not post information that you will regret putting out in public. This site comes up on Google, is cached, and all of that, so be aware of that as you post. Do not ask the staff to go through and delete things that you regret making available on the web for all to see because we will not do it. Think before you post!


2] Use descriptive subject lines & research your post. This means use the SEARCH.

This reduces the chances of double-posting and it also makes it easier for people to see what they do/don't want to read. Using the search function will identify existing threads on the topic so we do not have multiple threads on the same topic.

3] Keep the focus.

Each forum has a focus on a certain topic. Questions outside the scope of a certain forum will either be moved to the appropriate forum, closed, or simply be deleted. Please post your topic in the most appropriate forum. Users that keep doing this will be warned, then banned.

4] Behave as you would in a public location.

This forum is no different than a public place. Behave yourself and act like a decent human being (i.e. be respectful). If you're unable to do so, you're not welcome here and will be made to leave.

5] Respect the authority of moderators/admins.

Public discussions of moderator/admin actions are not allowed on the forum. It is also prohibited to protest moderator actions in titles, avatars, and signatures. If you don't like something that a moderator did, PM or email the moderator and try your best to resolve the problem or difference in private.

6] Promotion of sites or products is not permitted.

Advertisements are not allowed in this venue. No blatant advertising or solicitations of or for business is prohibited.
This includes, but not limited to, personal resumes and links to products or
services with which the poster is affiliated, whether or not a fee is charged
for the product or service. Spamming, in which a user posts the same message repeatedly, is also prohibited.

7] We retain the right to remove any posts and/or Members for any reason, without prior notice.


- PLEASE READ -

Members are welcome to read posts and though we encourage your active participation in the forum, it is not required. If you do participate by posting, however, we expect that on the whole you contribute something to the forum. This means that the bulk of your posts should not be in "fun" threads (e.g. Ankap, Keep & Kill, This or That, etc.). Further, while occasionally it is appropriate to simply voice your agreement or approval, not all of your posts should be of this variety: "LOL Member213!" "I agree."
If it is evident that a member is simply posting for the sake of posting, they will be removed.


8] These Rules & Guidelines may be amended at any time. (last update September 17, 2009)

If you believe an individual is repeatedly breaking the rules, please report to admin/moderator.
See more
See less

WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle!

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #71
    Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle!

    Originally posted by Sero View Post
    I love reading your jokes pepsi but for some reason I didn't understand the one above
    He had a heartattack because he practiced also befor emaking love so he practice on a 100 woman then starte dover again to much for him lol.
    Positive vibes, positive taught

    Comment


    • #72
      Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle!

      What do you have when you've got 50 lesbians and 50 state workers?
      100 people that don't do d-i-c-k.

      Comment


      • #73
        Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle!

        Little Johnny & Teacher:
        Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"

        "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away."

        "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."

        Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"

        "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."

        "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
        Positive vibes, positive taught

        Comment


        • #74
          Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle!

          30th Birthday:

          It was my 30th birthday and I wasn't feeling too great when I woke up that morning.

          I went down to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday" and probably have a present for me.

          She didn't even say "Good Morning," let alone "Happy Birthday."

          I figured, "Well, that's wives for you. The children will remember." The children came down to breakfast and didn't say a word.

          When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said, "Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday."

          I felt a little better - at least someone had remembered.

          I worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, it is such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me."

          I said, "That's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go.

          We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go. We went out into the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.

          On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it is such a beautiful day, we don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I said, "No, I guess not." She said, "Let's go to my apartment."

          After arriving at her apartment, she smiled at me and said, "If you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable."

          Mad at my wife for forgetting about my birthday, not to mention that Janet was quite beautiful, I felt justified in staying. "Sure," I excitedly replied.

          She went into the bedroom and, after a few minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children and dozens of our friends.

          They were all singing Happy Birthday... and there I sat on the couch... naked.
          Positive vibes, positive taught

          Comment


          • #75
            Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle!

            this was rly stupid.
            BOOOOO
            I WAS LOOKING FOR SOME AWESOME SICK NASTY JOKES AND THESE WERE RETARDED.

            Comment


            • #76
              Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle!

              Originally posted by spoiled052 View Post
              this was rly stupid.
              BOOOOO
              I WAS LOOKING FOR SOME AWESOME SICK NASTY JOKES AND THESE WERE RETARDED.
              Sorry to have dissapointed you.
              Positive vibes, positive taught

              Comment


              • #77
                Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle!

                I'll edit this down because I don't like posting bad words.

                ---------------

                A guy takes his wife to the doctor because she's been feeling strange.

                After examining the wife for quite a while, the doctor tells the husband, "Well, it's either Alzheimers or AIDS."

                "What do you mean?" The husband says, "You can't tell the difference?"

                "Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what, drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't have sex with her."

                Comment


                • #78
                  Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle!

                  I don't know why but this is hilarious.

                  ---------------

                  Hal is petrified of girls, so he asks his friend Lenny how he meets so many nice chicks.

                  Lenny says, "I have a surefire method to feel them out. I go up behind a girl and whisper, 'Tickle your ass with a feather?' And when she turns around and asks what I said, I say, 'Typical nasty weather.' If she smiles or laughs, I know she has a sense of humor, we chat, and it all happens naturally. Try it."

                  The next night, nervous but desperate, Hal goes to a very crowded bar, and sits in the corner, stewing, nursing a drink, getting more uptight every second. Finally, he walks up behind the nicest girl in the place, and after a few minutes of stammering, blurts out so everybody can hear, "Stick my finger in your ass?"

                  She turns around and says, "WHAT!?"

                  He says, "It's freaking pouring outside."

                  Comment


                  • #79
                    Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle!

                    Originally posted by One-Way View Post
                    I'll edit this down because I don't like posting bad words.

                    ---------------

                    A guy takes his wife to the doctor because she's been feeling strange.

                    After examining the wife for quite a while, the doctor tells the husband, "Well, it's either Alzheimers or AIDS."

                    "What do you mean?" The husband says, "You can't tell the difference?"

                    "Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what, drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't have sex with her."
                    LOL One- Way
                    Positive vibes, positive taught

                    Comment


                    • #80
                      Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle!

                      Airplane:

                      As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

                      She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

                      A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
                      Positive vibes, positive taught

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X