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Here is a couple of my favorites:
My Son
Vartanik and his three friends are telling stories in a bar. Vartanik leaves for a bathroom break. Three guys are left. The first guy says, "I was worried that my son was gonna be a loser because he started out washing cars for a local dealership. Turns out that he got a break, they made him a salesman, and he sold so many cars that he bought the dealership. In fact, he`s so successful that he just gave his best friend a new Mercedes for his birthday." The second guy says, "I was worried about my son too because he started out raking leaves for a Realtor. Turns out he got a break, they made him a commissioned salesman, and he eventually bought the real estate firm. In fact, he`s so successful that he just gave his best friend a new house for his birthday." The third guy says, "Yeah, I hear you. My son started out sweeping floors in a brokerage firm. In fact, he`s so rich that he just gave his best friend a million in stock for his birthday." Vartanik comes back from the can. The first 3 explain that they are telling stories about their kids, so he says, "Well, I`m embarrassed to admit that my son is a MAJOR disappointment. He started out as a hairdresser and is STILL a hairdresser after 15 years. In fact, I just found out that he`s gay and has SEVERAL boyfriends. But, I try to look at the bright side his boyfriends just bought him a new Mercedes, a new house, and a million in stock for his birthday."
Split Legs
one day vartanik was taking a bath with his grandma when he decided to ask why she had a split between her legs. thinking that vartanik was too young to know what that was, she proceeded to tell him that one day when grandpa was chopping wood, the end of the ax flew and hit her there. vartanik replied "DUP DUZ BOO*****IT zargav?"
Bouncing on his stomach
Vartanik wakes up several nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents` room. Finally, one morning he says to his mom, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you`re bouncing up and down on him." His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh...well...ah...well, I`m bouncing on his stomach because he`s fat and that makes him thin again." The boy responds, "That won`t work!" His mom says, "Why not?" The boy replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave for work each day and blows him back up!
And what the heck, I thought thia picture is incredably mean but o so adorable. For those who cant read the sign it says "Santa Clause" 1836-2003 or something like that.
My Son
Vartanik and his three friends are telling stories in a bar. Vartanik leaves for a bathroom break. Three guys are left. The first guy says, "I was worried that my son was gonna be a loser because he started out washing cars for a local dealership. Turns out that he got a break, they made him a salesman, and he sold so many cars that he bought the dealership. In fact, he`s so successful that he just gave his best friend a new Mercedes for his birthday." The second guy says, "I was worried about my son too because he started out raking leaves for a Realtor. Turns out he got a break, they made him a commissioned salesman, and he eventually bought the real estate firm. In fact, he`s so successful that he just gave his best friend a new house for his birthday." The third guy says, "Yeah, I hear you. My son started out sweeping floors in a brokerage firm. In fact, he`s so rich that he just gave his best friend a million in stock for his birthday." Vartanik comes back from the can. The first 3 explain that they are telling stories about their kids, so he says, "Well, I`m embarrassed to admit that my son is a MAJOR disappointment. He started out as a hairdresser and is STILL a hairdresser after 15 years. In fact, I just found out that he`s gay and has SEVERAL boyfriends. But, I try to look at the bright side his boyfriends just bought him a new Mercedes, a new house, and a million in stock for his birthday."
Split Legs
one day vartanik was taking a bath with his grandma when he decided to ask why she had a split between her legs. thinking that vartanik was too young to know what that was, she proceeded to tell him that one day when grandpa was chopping wood, the end of the ax flew and hit her there. vartanik replied "DUP DUZ BOO*****IT zargav?"
Bouncing on his stomach
Vartanik wakes up several nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents` room. Finally, one morning he says to his mom, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you`re bouncing up and down on him." His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh...well...ah...well, I`m bouncing on his stomach because he`s fat and that makes him thin again." The boy responds, "That won`t work!" His mom says, "Why not?" The boy replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave for work each day and blows him back up!
And what the heck, I thought thia picture is incredably mean but o so adorable. For those who cant read the sign it says "Santa Clause" 1836-2003 or something like that.
Hahahaha.
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