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New sex diet

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  • #1

    New sex diet

    I seen this somewhere, its pretty funny.


    I say fuc the gym...


    SEX CALORIES

    REMOVING HIS/HER CLOTHES:
    With consent.......................................12 Calories
    Without consent.................................187 Calories

    OPENING HER BRA:
    With both hands.....................................8 Calories
    With one hand......................................12 Calories
    With your teeth.....................................85 Calories

    PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
    With an erection.....................................6 Calories
    Without an erection.............................315 Calories

    PRELIMINARIES:
    Trying to find the xxxxoris..........................8 Calories
    Trying to find the G-Spot........................92 Calories

    POSITIONS:
    Missionary........................................ ...12 Calories
    69 lying down..................................... 78 Calories
    69 standing up....................................112 Calories
    Wheelbarrow....................................... 216 Calories
    Doggy Style...................................... 326 Calories
    Italian Chandelier............................... 912 Calories

    ORGASM:
    Real.............................................. .....112 Calories
    False............................................. .....315 Calories

    POST ORGASM:
    Lying in bed hugging............................ 18 Calories
    Getting up immediately........................ 36 Calories
    Explaining why you got out of bed immediately.....816 Calories

    GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:

    If you are:
    20-29 years old.................................... 36 Calories
    30-39 years...........................................80 Calories
    40-49 years........................................ 124 Calories
    50-59 years..........................................972 Calories
    60-69 years.........................................2916 Calories
    70 and over.............................................. ......Death

    DRESSING AFTERWARDS:

    Calmly............................................ ..........32 Calories
    In a hurry............................................. .....98 Calories
    With her FATHER knocking at the door..........1218 Calories
    With your SPOUSE knocking at the door........3521 Calories
    Tags: None
  • #2
    OmmyyGosh.. I would lose the last 10 lbs I've been working on in just a few weeks!


    No no no..I should just go the the gym!
    You can't hold a man down without staying down with him.

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    • #3
      No wonder I'm so in shape.

      ...



      ...


      what??
      "All I know is I'm not a Marxist." -Karl Marx

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      • #4
        Originally posted by gaucho
        it's funny and everything
        but what in the world is "Italian chandelier"???
        am I missing a lot???
        lol
        And a wheelbarrow?
        The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald

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        • #5
          enlightned us o great sexologist.

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          • #6
            yeah what the hell is the italian chandelier, never heard of that. but very very funny, i was crackin up over here.

            Comment

            • #7
              i could google it, but im too lasy.
              ill post it when i find out about it.

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              • #8
                Is it bad that I know what an Italian Italian Chandelier is?


                :/ hmm, maybe I shouldn't have said anything...

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Mags
                  Is it bad that I know what an Italian Italian Chandelier is?


                  :/ hmm, maybe I shouldn't have said anything...
                  no...it kinda makes you look more intelligent.

                  now...what the hell his an italian chandeleir?

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                  • #10
                    hold on the "plasma and monphine" are gonna ge available soon.
                    "a phrase used by GIs as a term of pateince to people who are burning with curiousity"

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