Why some women just don't want to get married

[hyebruin]

it might be a little sausage to the '80%' but it's the source of all motivation, all that men are and all that they do is driven by it! --mostly--

i mean we should be grateful to the lil sausage! if it wasn't for its abundant vasculature and sensitivity to physical, visual, mental, and olfactory stimuli, women might never get to enjoy things like flowers, jewelry, love and ohhh yes the carriage that is called marriage

you see, we should really really really REALLY feel sorry for men in a way! that lil thing can get them in soooo much trouble! and sometimes the effects can last a lifetime!

that's when you sit back, watch, enjoy, and laffff at the mess some of the "not so smart ones" get themselves into

[nunechka]

OH MY GOD! i guess anonymouse cant read very well... I SAID IT WAS SENT TO ME IN AN EMAIL!

and i have actually heard figures above 50% on regular news channels...

THIS is supposed to be a discussion forum not bash nune forum...

and no hyebruin i dont think that men dont have a brain, i think that they do in fact have a brain and because of social influence they think their penis is a magical thing... well it AINT! and you know i think i can buy my own flowers, and jewelry without thinking that i have to give it up to someone for it...

i find it theraputic to purchase nice things for myself... at the end of the evening i dont feel like i own anyone anything ... thats how simple it is...

the penis does nothing that a xxxxx cant do... and men dont like that... thats why men dont like lesbians... they like the fake lesbians the ones on pornos... they dont like feminists for the same reason, because we women want to find our OWN IDENTITY without a man in our lives... a man is there to be a partner, not a guardian... i am in love with one right now... i appreciate all he does for me, and i hope he does the same...

he is a strong man who can take a feminist armenian princess...

All i have to say is that, i can understand why some women dont want to get married, but i dont think that the figure is that high... i think that the trend is true, in which case in like 50 years 50% of all women in europe/US/australia will not want to get married... the more we understand each other the more we understand ourselves, the more it is apperant that we as women are identified by our relationships with the men in our lives then anyone else...

my mother bothers me about marriage all the time... when i was younger i was like "NO!!!" but now i want a family and so i want to get married, but if it was possible for me to have kids and raise them without getting married (having one extra child) then i would do that, but i dont think i can do it alone, and so we must build our families together... both men and women... i think its the right way to do it... but at the same time i dont think i should be just some mans wife... i am a woman, i am a b!tch, i am someone's beloved, i am a daughter, and i will be a wife and then a mommy in the future...

but never will i be some mans "protected" little being...

[violette829]

Study: Majority of men do want to get married

By DAVID CRARY
AP National Writer
Jun. 23, 2004 04:03 PM

NEW YORK - While most single young men aspire to marriage, about one-fifth are deeply skeptical of the institution and their prospects of making it work, according to a new national survey which closely links men's marital outlook to their upbringing.

The survey, released Wednesday by the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University, found that the men with negative attitudes were far more likely than the rest to have been raised by a divorced parent in a non-churchgoing family.

"Most young men are still 'the marrying kind,' " said a report accompanying the survey. "Moreover, the men who are the best 'marriage bets' are those who are more traditional in their family and religious background." advertisement


One critic said such assertions were too broad, fostering illusions about traditional families and overlooking the nuanced attitudes of those raised by divorced parents.

Of the 1,010 men aged 25-34 who were surveyed, 569 were married. Of that group, 81 percent said they got married "because it was the right time to settle down." The desire to have children was a major factor for 35 percent; only 15 percent said they married sooner than they wished because of pressure from their partner.

The survey was part of the annual "State of Our Unions" report authored by Marriage Project co-directors David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead.

Their report avoided making specific recommendations, but Popenoe, in a telephone interview, counseled women seeking husbands to "take into consideration the guy's background - don't avoid the traditional guys."

"A huge percentage of the men say they'll marry when it's time to settle down, which a lot of women don't quite understand," Popenoe said. "A word of advice to women - make sure you're getting the guy at just this time."

Survey responses from the married men painted a positive picture of marriage - 94 percent said they were happier married than single, and 73 percent said their sex life was better.

"For men, even more than for women, marriage is a transformative event," Popenoe and Whitehead wrote. "They work harder and do better financially than men who are not married. They are less likely to hang out in bars, to abuse alcohol or drugs."

According to the survey, married men are roughly twice as likely as unmarried men to go religious services regularly. Three-quarters of the married men said it was important for children to be raised in a religion, compared to 59 percent of unmarried men.

Regarding parenting, married and single men had similar views - about two-thirds of each group said having children shouldn't be the main purpose of marrying.

Among the single men, those interested in marriage were more likely to have had a father fully involved in their upbringing than those who were skeptical of marriage. The unmarried men raised by two parents also were more likely to be trusting of women than those raised in single-parent homes.

Stephanie Coontz, a history professor at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Wash., and author of several books on families, questioned the utility of such findings.

"There's this endless stream of correlations that seem designed to convince people, 'By golly, we'd all do better if everybody got married and stayed married,' " she said. "That's unrealistic in the modern world."

She said researchers should conduct more detailed surveys, for example, comparing the outlooks of men whose parents divorced amicably with men whose parents endured in an unhappy marriage.

Of the unmarried men who were surveyed, 53 percent said they were not interested in getting married anytime soon. Most agreed that "at this stage in my life I want fun and freedom"; 47 percent said they wouldn't marry until they could afford to own a home.

Twenty-two percent of the unmarried men were depicted as "hardcore marriage avoiders" - agreeing that marriage, while suitable for some people, is unappealing to them.

Compared to other unmarried men, this subgroup was far more likely to mistrust women's accounts of their past relationships and to worry that marriage would end in divorce.

"It is the presence of these men in the partner market that has led to the popular media stereotype of the commitment-phobic young male on the make but not on the path to marriage," Popenoe and Whitehead wrote.

The report noted that American men are delaying marriage - on average, marrying for the first time at 27, compared to 23 in 1970.

"Young men face few, if any, negative consequences to delaying marriage," the report said. "They can live with a young woman and gain some of the sexual and domestic benefits of marriage without the long-term commitment of marriage."

The survey was conducted in January and February among English-speaking, heterosexual men. The margin of error for the full sample was 4 percent.

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On the Net:

National Marriage Project: http://marriage.rutgers.edu

[violette829]

I think we should change the title of the thread to..."WHO WANTS TO GET MARRIED?"

[winoman]

Nune - you go girl! Great attitude/perspective - and best of luck to you and with you and your beau....and future life and family - etc...I would say you have a very good foundation to achieve a worthwhile and satisfying life for yourself...(thopugh of course I can't entirely agree with your devaluing of the penis as you do! ....but I certainly understand your perspective...)

[EYYBABA23]

Girls, always THANK for, and APPREICATE a penis, because you wouldn't be posting on this forum if it wasn't for that "little penis". xxxxxs aren't able to spit out what a penis could!

I also can hardly believe it's 80 percent, but I'd say it should be more than it was oh 40-50 years ago. With women having more rights and becoming more independent, number of them who WANT[ok Armobarbi jan, WANT not NEED. kneres] to get married seems to be decreasing, and I don't blame them either!

Editted it to kiss ArmoBarbi's butt...LOL

[ArmoBarbi]

Many of us know that we dont NEED a husband, but we still WANT one. I am going to school and will have a good career one day, but I mostly cant wait to get married and have a family.

[Thai-Samurai]

I'll trade meditating on a mountain w/ listening to femenist crap any day.
And yeah I'm looking forward to getting married to.

[ArmoBarbi]

Lets go meditate on a mountain together

[nunechka]

winoman thanks for your comments... i guess i can be a little too harsh with my words... i am a rather calm and caring person behind all of these other feelings...